I Still Miss Someone

 When someone you care about dies you feel sad. And like part of you is gone.

When my sister died last month it hurt. She was 4 years younger than me. She had told me many times that she wanted to go. She was confined to her bed for so many years after she had a major stroke. I hate this saying but I believe it to be true in this case. She is now better off.

When we were younger we were close. We would take our children to the zoo. Old pictures make us look like the Kennedys on an outing.

As often happens family and distance interfere with relationships. It does not stop the love.

My sister was the middle of 7 children/ She had 2 brothers younger and 2 brothers older. I was the older sister and there is also a younger sister. How is that for creating a middle child syndrome? And my sister had it in spades.

My sister used to complain that she never got her way. What actually happened was that she did not get it fast enough (which was immediately).

After her stroke she was unable to speak clearly for a while. Imagine my surprise when I called one day to ask my nephew how she was and he asked if I wanted to talk to her. It was wonderful to hear her voice even though she was still difficult to understand. Over time her speech returned and we spoke often.

So now I miss talking to her. Sometimes she depended on me a little too much and I would complain. Now I find myself starting to call her or wondering why she was not calling me. I would love to be able to complain again.

My sister had developed diabetes along with other ailments related to her not being able to move around. I know several places online that make sugar-free candy/ She could have the peppermint candies to keep her mouth moist. Chocolates made her feel special. I made sure to send her a bit of candy each month.

I also sent her inexpensive Christmas gifts. Things like that break the monotony of someone confined to bed.

I know my sister. She would have wanted a huge star-studded funeral with glamor, glitz, and all the notoriety you can imagine. Instead she was cremated and placed in a niche in a columbarium. She is now at rest.

My Sister

 I have wo younger sisters. The one who is four years younger than I am has been in a nursing home for years.

She suffered a severe stroke many years ago which left her unable to care for herself. For many years her husband took care of her at home. My nephew stopped by every day to help.

They fed her, bathed her, changed her clothes, and did everything for her. 

Eventually she needed more care than they could give her. She went to live in a nursing home. Her husband and son were there every day at least for the time they were not at work. On weekends they spent the whole day with her. Besides keeping her company they helped with physical therapy.

Her son died and she was devastated. He had been the focus of her world for so many years. I knew he was ill but I did not know how serious it was. 

I spoke to him on the phone and he sounded so bad. I said, " You know I love you." He said, "I know. I love you too." It was the last time I talked to him. I am now obsessive about telling people I love them. It has become so important to me.

Back to my sister. Her husband called me to let me know she was in the emergency room. She has not been feeling well for months. They diagnosed COPD. They would move her to ICU as soon as they could.

He held his phone to her ear. I was able to tell her I love her. She loves me too.

My brother-in-law called me this morning. The doctors have recommended that he "pull the plug." I think he was looking for another opinion. I do not want her to suffer any more. There seems to be no hope for life. It is time. 

I assured him I would back him on whatever decision he makes. He is her husband after all.

So tomorrow morning he will tell them to not keep her alive using artificial means. I am losing my sister.

She will be the third younger sibling I am losing. I do not want to die but it is not right that they go before me. As you can tell I am feeling sorry for myself. I know it will pass over time. For now I need to do it.

Please remind your loved ones you love them. You will feel better when you do.

In The Bathroom

 This is to be the year of renovation. We are planning on re-doing the whole house.

We intended to begin with the living room. We ordered the wallpaper and it came today. It is gorgeous. It looks like flattened rocks. It is self-sticking so we do not have to mess with paste.

We still have not decided on floor covering yet. Carpeting is one option. Another is area rugs. Perhaps we will install some of the flooring that looks like hardwood. 

We have installed paper in one corner of the room. It looks great. The rest will happen tomorrow. We are in no hurry.

In the meantime my second son came. He brought a friend who is a carpenter. 

My sons and the carpenter did the bathroom. They removed the floor. I could see everything below the bathroom. The bathtub was replaced with a shower. The toilet is energy efficient. It also sits higher than the old one. They try to take care of old Mom.

There is a new vanity that holds the sink with a marble counter. We also have a new floor that looks like charcoal colored wood.

My son and the carpenter are planning to come back in a few months to work on some other things.

Happy New Year

 

Merry Christmas

 There are songs we all think about as Christmas nears. White Christmas, The Christmas song, Jingle Bells, and so many others. I listen to them all because I love Christmas music. At the same time I have favorites and often the artists who sing them. Still I have some favorites for you. See which ones you like.

O Holy Night by the Vienna Boys Choir

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town by either Bruce Springsteen or Michael Jackson

Merry Bloody XMas by The Irish Rovers

Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano

Yellin' At The Christmas Tree by Billy Idol

Santa Baby (both 1 and 2) by Eartha Kitt

Happy Christmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon

Blue Christmas by both Elvis and Porky Pig

Santa Claus Is Watching You by Ray Stevens

Snoopy's Christmas by the Royal Guardsmen

Mrs Fogarty's Christmas Cake by The Irish Rovers

The Night Santa Went Crazy by Weird Al Yankovic

There's Something Stuck Up In The Chimney by Bob Rivers

Santa's Comin' In A Whirlybird by Gene Autry

Bad Little Boy by Ray Stevens

That is enough I suppose. Each of these songs should be available on YouTube if you wish to hear them.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

I Know

 This is what the words from my previous post mean.

rubberneck - listen to someone else's phone call on a party line

phosphate (not the element phosphorus or a weapon) - a soft drink made at the soda fountain

makin' bacon - a euphemism for having sex

pettifogger - a cheating lawyer

hoosegow - jail

gardyloo - a call of warning before emptying the chamber pot out of the window

bedight - to decorate

besmirch - to make dirty

moxie - courage

petrichor - the earthy smell after a rain

zozzled - drunk

row-de-dow - a brawl or fight at a party

Do you have some favorites? I am listening.

Do You KNow?

I have a list of words for you. How many do you recognize?

rubberneck

phosphate (not the element phosphorus or a weapon)

makin' bacon

pettifogger

hoosegow

gardyloo

bedight

besmirch

moxie

petrichor

zozzled

row-de-dow

I'll let you know what they mean in my next post.