Let's Dress Up

Halloween is coming. Did you celebrate? Did you dress in a costume? Did you Trick-or-Treat?

 I love Halloween. I love the colors: black and orange. I really love the candy. And I love to see kids having so much fun rushing from house to house looking for more treats.

Even though it is older Halloween is usually attributed to Samhain in Ireland. It is celebrated at the time it is believed that the world of the dead was closest to the world of the living. Sometimes the spirits of the dead could cross over to cause trouble.

They would knock on doors looking for food. People began leaving treats sitting on the doorstep to keep the spirits from playing tricks on them.

Of course the spirits were scary to look at. If a human had to be out on All Hallow's Eve they wore a scary mask to look like a spirit. They were allowed to pass. 

Soon mischievous young people began to dress in costume and bang on doors demanding treats. Halloween had begun.

I have memories of my favorite costume. I was in kindergarten. Mom could make anything. Using orange material she sewed a pumpkin. It even had a little hat with green leaves to look like the top of the pumpkin. Then she bent a few wire coat hangers and stretched the pumpkin over them to make a full round pumpkin. It was so fat that I had problems getting it through the door of the classroom at school.

Over the years there have been many homemade costumes. After all there were seven of us. Then I had four children. KISS has been a favorite for many of the children. 

For several years my second son dressed as death. I had seen how to do his makeup in a magazine.

My oldest son would dress as a scarecrow. He sat in a folding chair by where the kids came for their treats. As soon as no one but the child was looking he would wave. Not one mother ever believed the poor child who saw the scarecrow move.

I know there are some who believe that Halloween is evil. They are able to believe as they wish. For me Halloween is just a time to be silly and have fun.

How Come

 My daughter is blessed with three big brothers. I always wished I I had a big brother. 

My daughter adored her brothers. They adored her. It is still true and they are all in their 50's.

I thought when the novelty of having a girl in the family the boys would relax a bit. Not so. 

She has felt protected and loved for her entire life.  Each brother served a different part as hero for her.

The oldest brother is the calm person who makes things right. She turns to him for security.

The second brother is her fierce warrior guard. He is there to make everyone afraid to cross her.

She and her third brother are Irish twins meaning there is barely a year's difference in their ages. Besides being her friend he is constantly there for her.

There was something about my lovely daughter that drove us all out of our minds. She was a "howcum" child.

She was full of questions. They always started with "how com." "How come I need to wear a coat? How come I can't take the dog to school with me?" "How come it always gets cloudy before it rains?"

When she realized that she was making us crazy she asked even more. Fifty years later she still does it. You would think that by now she knows everything there is to know.

Crying

We lived in a predominately Polish neighborhood. Like any ethnic group they were distrustful of new people, So it took a while for us to be accepted. 

My youngest brother and youngest sister assimilated faster because they all went to school together. There were children their ages in the neighborhood.

We are not Catholic. Most of the Poles in our community were. We did not attend the same church although there is a beautiful Catholic church on the next block.

My parents were solid people who lived a quiet life. Daddy was charismatic so once people got to know him they were drawn to him.

Mom was quiet but you could feel her strength. She was also accepted and trusted.

There were no children of the same age group as my children. My boys played baseball Most of the boys were Polish but they did not live nearby.

My daughter joined a dance class. They learned traditional Polish dances like the Polonaise and Krakowiak. 

In order for her to attend we had to have insurance policies from the Polish salesman. The mothers were required to join the dancers' Mothers Club.

We paid weekly dues. We made sure each child had an authentic Polish costume. A couple of the women sewed and for a modest price made the skirt and vest. The blouses were simply a white blouse,

The headpieces were expensive. For recitals we had them made at the local flower shop with real flowers. They were a ring of flowers with colorful ribbons down the back.

The Mothers' Club funds helped pay for some of the expenses. That meant we held fund raisers each year. 

Selling candy, selling gift wrap, and even cheesecakes had been moderately successful. We needed to find something new.

I suggested that we make phone calls to mothers for Mothers Day. We would find appropriate poems and call on Mother Day to give the poem chosen as a phone message of love.

We charged a small fee. We made a list of who to call, which poem to recite, and who it was from. We divided them up and on Mothers Day we made our calls.

The mothers all seemed so pleased.

Then my brother's friend who I had known since he was very young burst in. He wanted to know what I had done to upset his mother.

I had made my call and she was crying so hard. He was so upset that I had made his mother cry. I apologized even though I was puzzled as to what I had done. He left in a huff.

Soon he was back. He apologized profusely. He had soothed his mother and found out why she cried.

She had been so touched that her son loved her so much. She loved the poem. She loved her son.

I think that call alone made the whole thing worthwhile.

Disagree

 There is no one anywhere with whom I always agree.

I have my own mind, my own thoughts, and my own beliefs. Most of my beliefs came from my parents. I did not always agree with them.

I had experiences in my life that caused me to make decisions. Those things will attach to the way you view the world. Not everyone has had those experiences.  Those who have may have viewed them differently. That makes a different way of looking at things.

One of the most satisfying things about being a mother has been watching my children develop their own sets of values. They often do not agree but they still care for each other.

In today's world I see politics as something that is causing such harsh feelings. Too many people are not willing to accept that others might have a different point of view. 

Families are becoming estranged. Good friends no longer speak to each other. 

I have 4 children. One of them shares my political beliefs...mostly. The other three are completely opposite... mostly.

I love all my children. We all know what each of us believes. Politics will not change our feelings for each other.

Rather than become a divided family I do not discuss politics with them. We each have others to do that.

Mid-term elections are near for us in the United States. Please research the candidates and remember to vote.

Remembrance

 I watched the ceremony marking 25th anniversary of the attacks of September 11. It was beautiful and very moving.

The event was of course somber. Remembering so many souls who are now gone is by nature sad.

It began with the National anthem. Then a cello player began to play. It was background music and other musicians traded into his place as the ceremony progressed.

There were family members of those who died on September 11 had been chosen to read the names of the victims. Two would read a number of the names. Then they would talk briefly about the person they represented. On to the next two people. They would do the next names.

At the end they played Taps. It is the most heart-wrenching music ever.

The whole process took at least 3 hours. It was so touching.

One thing I noticed about the names is that they represented people from all over the world. I could not tell what specific countries people were from but all continents were there in the names. The whole world was affected.

It made me realize that we can only blame the people who wanted to damage and terrorize everyone else. Not one specific nationality, government, or religion. Luckily I know people from many of the groups I mentioned so I knew enough to make a decision about individuals and not groups.

The tragedy brought the entire world together. I fervently wish we had stayed together.

September 11, 2001

 Most of us in the United States remember where we were on what we all 9/11. That was the day an airplane was flown right into the World Trade Center building.

As we watched the smoke we saw a second plane plow into the second tower of the Trade Center. Ater wondering if the first had been an accident we then knew that both were on purpose.

As we watched the horror we learned that a third plane had gone into the Pentagon which holds the offices of major military officials as well as clerical staff.

Then came the news that passengers who learned that their plane was on its way to the White House. The passengers got together and decided to force the plane down before it could accomplish its mission.

I worked the night shift. So did my sister. We rode together in order to economize. I had dropped her at her house that morning.

I was watching the news before going to bed when they broke in to say there had been an explosion of some sort at the Trade Center. Possibly an airplane had flown into it. Camera crews were immediately dispatched.

As we were watching billows of smoke pour out of the building we saw another plane flying toward the other building. We watched as it slammed into the building. There was immediate smoke and fire.

We still did not know about the other two planes.

I picked up my phone and called my sister. I asked if she had gone to bed. No. Was she watching the news. No, why.

I said, "Someone just declared war on us!"

Then we learned that a third plane had smashed into the Pentagon. Of course we had military in the field not in the Pentagon with their commanders. But the policy makers are in the building.

Then we learned of a fourth plane on the way to the White House. Everyone in the White House had been rushed to safety. The symbolism was immense.

The passengers on that plane contacted their loved ones to say good-bye. Then they rushed the cockpit and overpowered the pilots. They heroically crashed the plane knowing that they would surely die.

All those people in the planes died. Most of the people in the Trade Center died. First responders died. When the World Trade Center buildings collapsed many were injured. And many souls were devastated.

Now it is 25 years later. What was accomplished?

Gold Star

We often hear of Gold Star families. As far as I know that is a fairly new term.

My brother was killed in Vietnam in 1970. He would have been 21 years old if he had lived until his birthday later in the year... just a baby.

There have been so many young people lost to the vulgarism of war.   Wars are usually caused by leaders who want to feel power. Then at least one other leader has to retaliate.

Young people who are trained to fight are sent. Some will be killed, some will be injured, most will have their souls scarred by what they see.

We hear about the warriors. They should be remembered.

But what about their families, friends, and fellow fighters?

My mother was at home and alone when the officers came to tell her. To their credit they stayed with her until my father could get home from his job. Their child was dead.

I was going on vacation with my family. I had long felt that we would be called home for his funeral. I was with my sisters all day because I was leaving that night. 

Daddy met our car to tell us what happened. I rushed into the house to see if Mom needed a doctor or anything. My youngest sister and youngest brother were sitting on the couch in total shock looking lost. 

Mom was nowhere to be seen. She must have taken to her bed.

I took my two very small boys outside so they would not bother anyone. I sat on the steps alone until my husband arrived.

I told him what happened. He was in total disbelief. They were good friends. We took the boys into the house. 

Mom was on the couch between my brother and sister. She wanted to know why I had not said anything to her when I was inside before. I am telling you I did not see her. Maybe I just could not stand to see her cry.

She asked if I would call extended family members for her. Of course.

This tragedy was the only time I had ever seen Daddy cry. He was terribly proud. He was excruciatingly hurt. The officers were there to help us with whatever they could. 

We asked for a military funeral. It was done. They did all the planning. Some of my brother's friends would be pallbearers.

My brother had one friend who went and immediately tried to sign up for military service when my brother was drafted. He just knew he would be there to protect his friend.

He was rejected because he was severely overweight. Immediately he set about losing at least two hundred pounds. As soon as he did he enlisted with the whole purpose of going to Viet Nam to protect his friend.

He was still in Basic Training. The officers informed us that the Army did not release anyone from their training. But they would try. He was a pallbearer. It was a comfort to us.

These are some of so many examples. So many people were affected by my brother's death. My youngest brother was too young to fully comprehend what was happening.

About a year later there was a ceremony to present medals to several of the soldiers from the city who had lost their lives. In a photo taken for the newspaper we all looked like zombies. It is not something you get over.

Needless to say I hate war. There has to be a better way to deal with disagreements.