Good Neighbors

Neighbors are interesting creatures. Some are good, some are bad, and some are merely tolerable. I have had samples of all. Rather than give recognition to bad neighbors I will concentrate on some good ones.

My ex-husband was dying. He had cancer. His neighbor worked the night shift. Every morning when he got home from work he would stop in to check on his friend. He was the truest friend my husband had.

My oldest son was taking care of his father and the neighbor was nice to him too. My son was grateful that he was able to be with his father in his final days.

The neighbor was with my husband when he died. What a good friend.

I now live with my son in his father's house. The neighbor is still a caring neighbor.

My favorite neighbor lived at the end of our street in Tennessee. I was a woman in my middle twenties. I had two small children plus two babies. My husband was a truck driver so he was gone all week.

Our next-door neighbor was this woman's daughter. She had a son the same age as my second son. In fact they had the same blonde hair and they were the same size. The woman at the end of the street took care of her grandson while her daughter worked in another town all week and some weekends

The woman had two older children still in school. Every morning when I drove my oldest son to school I also gave then a ride. When we got home my second son and the grandson ran down to the grandmother's house.

Every night for supper she made fresh cornbread. The boys had that for breakfast. They especially liked it when she made cracklin' bread. That is cornbread with pork cracklins' (sold as pork rinds) mixed in.

All the kids usually played at our house. I did not mind the noise. Or the mess. Several times when it was getting late the woman would come up and knock on the door. When my son would answer she would grab him and be halfway home before realizing she had the wrong child.

Often in early afternoon she would come to me and ask if she could take one of the babies for a while. She said she missed having a baby in the house. She took comfort from having a baby present. Even if it was only for a nap.

She was a wonderful and giving person. She gave me a bit of a break when I really needed one. I miss her even today.

 

Shooting An Elephant

When I was in junior high school elephant jokes were all the rage. Here are some of my favorites.

How can you tell if there is an elephant in the bathtub? You can smell the peanuts on his breath.

How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun.

Why did the elephant paint its toenails red?  So it could hide in the cherry tree.

How can you tell when an elephant has been in the refrigerator? By the elephant footprints in the Jello.

How do you kill a pink elephant? Squeeze its trunk until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you stop an elephant from charging? Take away his credit card.

How do you raise a baby elephant? With a forklift/

How can you tell if there are two elephants in the refrigerator? You can hear them giggling when the light goes out.

How can you tell if there are three elephants in the refrigerator? The door will not close.

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck.

How did the elephant get wrinkles around its' knees? From jumping out of trees.

How do you capture a whole herd of elephants? Go to their watering hole with an empty gallon jug, binoculars, and a pair of tweezers. When the elephants come to drink you look through the binoculars backward. The elephants will look tiny. Use the tweezers to grasp their tails. Pick them up and drop them into the gallon jug.

That is enough to keep you entertained for a while. Just be thankful that I used elephants and not Silly Suzie jokes.

Let's Dress Up

Halloween is coming. Did you celebrate? Did you dress in a costume? Did you Trick-or-Treat?

 I love Halloween. I love the colors: black and orange. I really love the candy. And I love to see kids having so much fun rushing from house to house looking for more treats.

Even though it is older Halloween is usually attributed to Samhain in Ireland. It is celebrated at the time it is believed that the world of the dead was closest to the world of the living. Sometimes the spirits of the dead could cross over to cause trouble.

They would knock on doors looking for food. People began leaving treats sitting on the doorstep to keep the spirits from playing tricks on them.

Of course the spirits were scary to look at. If a human had to be out on All Hallow's Eve they wore a scary mask to look like a spirit. They were allowed to pass. 

Soon mischievous young people began to dress in costume and bang on doors demanding treats. Halloween had begun.

I have memories of my favorite costume. I was in kindergarten. Mom could make anything. Using orange material she sewed a pumpkin. It even had a little hat with green leaves to look like the top of the pumpkin. Then she bent a few wire coat hangers and stretched the pumpkin over them to make a full round pumpkin. It was so fat that I had problems getting it through the door of the classroom at school.

Over the years there have been many homemade costumes. After all there were seven of us. Then I had four children. KISS has been a favorite for many of the children. 

For several years my second son dressed as death. I had seen how to do his makeup in a magazine.

My oldest son would dress as a scarecrow. He sat in a folding chair by where the kids came for their treats. As soon as no one but the child was looking he would wave. Not one mother ever believed the poor child who saw the scarecrow move.

I know there are some who believe that Halloween is evil. They are able to believe as they wish. For me Halloween is just a time to be silly and have fun.

How Come

 My daughter is blessed with three big brothers. I always wished I I had a big brother. 

My daughter adored her brothers. They adored her. It is still true and they are all in their 50's.

I thought when the novelty of having a girl in the family the boys would relax a bit. Not so. 

She has felt protected and loved for her entire life.  Each brother served a different part as hero for her.

The oldest brother is the calm person who makes things right. She turns to him for security.

The second brother is her fierce warrior guard. He is there to make everyone afraid to cross her.

She and her third brother are Irish twins meaning there is barely a year's difference in their ages. Besides being her friend he is constantly there for her.

There was something about my lovely daughter that drove us all out of our minds. She was a "howcum" child.

She was full of questions. They always started with "how com." "How come I need to wear a coat? How come I can't take the dog to school with me?" "How come it always gets cloudy before it rains?"

When she realized that she was making us crazy she asked even more. Fifty years later she still does it. You would think that by now she knows everything there is to know.

Crying

We lived in a predominately Polish neighborhood. Like any ethnic group they were distrustful of new people, So it took a while for us to be accepted. 

My youngest brother and youngest sister assimilated faster because they all went to school together. There were children their ages in the neighborhood.

We are not Catholic. Most of the Poles in our community were. We did not attend the same church although there is a beautiful Catholic church on the next block.

My parents were solid people who lived a quiet life. Daddy was charismatic so once people got to know him they were drawn to him.

Mom was quiet but you could feel her strength. She was also accepted and trusted.

There were no children of the same age group as my children. My boys played baseball Most of the boys were Polish but they did not live nearby.

My daughter joined a dance class. They learned traditional Polish dances like the Polonaise and Krakowiak. 

In order for her to attend we had to have insurance policies from the Polish salesman. The mothers were required to join the dancers' Mothers Club.

We paid weekly dues. We made sure each child had an authentic Polish costume. A couple of the women sewed and for a modest price made the skirt and vest. The blouses were simply a white blouse,

The headpieces were expensive. For recitals we had them made at the local flower shop with real flowers. They were a ring of flowers with colorful ribbons down the back.

The Mothers' Club funds helped pay for some of the expenses. That meant we held fund raisers each year. 

Selling candy, selling gift wrap, and even cheesecakes had been moderately successful. We needed to find something new.

I suggested that we make phone calls to mothers for Mothers Day. We would find appropriate poems and call on Mother Day to give the poem chosen as a phone message of love.

We charged a small fee. We made a list of who to call, which poem to recite, and who it was from. We divided them up and on Mothers Day we made our calls.

The mothers all seemed so pleased.

Then my brother's friend who I had known since he was very young burst in. He wanted to know what I had done to upset his mother.

I had made my call and she was crying so hard. He was so upset that I had made his mother cry. I apologized even though I was puzzled as to what I had done. He left in a huff.

Soon he was back. He apologized profusely. He had soothed his mother and found out why she cried.

She had been so touched that her son loved her so much. She loved the poem. She loved her son.

I think that call alone made the whole thing worthwhile.

Disagree

 There is no one anywhere with whom I always agree.

I have my own mind, my own thoughts, and my own beliefs. Most of my beliefs came from my parents. I did not always agree with them.

I had experiences in my life that caused me to make decisions. Those things will attach to the way you view the world. Not everyone has had those experiences.  Those who have may have viewed them differently. That makes a different way of looking at things.

One of the most satisfying things about being a mother has been watching my children develop their own sets of values. They often do not agree but they still care for each other.

In today's world I see politics as something that is causing such harsh feelings. Too many people are not willing to accept that others might have a different point of view. 

Families are becoming estranged. Good friends no longer speak to each other. 

I have 4 children. One of them shares my political beliefs...mostly. The other three are completely opposite... mostly.

I love all my children. We all know what each of us believes. Politics will not change our feelings for each other.

Rather than become a divided family I do not discuss politics with them. We each have others to do that.

Mid-term elections are near for us in the United States. Please research the candidates and remember to vote.

Remembrance

 I watched the ceremony marking 25th anniversary of the attacks of September 11. It was beautiful and very moving.

The event was of course somber. Remembering so many souls who are now gone is by nature sad.

It began with the National anthem. Then a cello player began to play. It was background music and other musicians traded into his place as the ceremony progressed.

There were family members of those who died on September 11 had been chosen to read the names of the victims. Two would read a number of the names. Then they would talk briefly about the person they represented. On to the next two people. They would do the next names.

At the end they played Taps. It is the most heart-wrenching music ever.

The whole process took at least 3 hours. It was so touching.

One thing I noticed about the names is that they represented people from all over the world. I could not tell what specific countries people were from but all continents were there in the names. The whole world was affected.

It made me realize that we can only blame the people who wanted to damage and terrorize everyone else. Not one specific nationality, government, or religion. Luckily I know people from many of the groups I mentioned so I knew enough to make a decision about individuals and not groups.

The tragedy brought the entire world together. I fervently wish we had stayed together.