A Rose By Any Other Name

Children often have trouble pronouncing certain words or sounds. Their little mouths are just not ready to make some sounds.

Sometimes those mispronunciations stick. A nickname is born.

My uncle Keith is a good example. One of the many babies could not manage his name for some reason. It always came out as Deke.

Everyone in the family called him Deke. It just seemed natural after a while.

Deke attended school in the same town as we did. He was 5 years older than me. Often after school or sports practice or before a sporting event he came to our house instead of going home to the farm.

One day there was a knock on the door. Mom answered it. There was a young man from school wanting to know if Zeke was there.

Mom had no idea who Zeke was. The young man had heard us calling him Deke and thought his name was Zeke.

We laughed about it for days after. To us Deke and Zeke sounded nothing alike.

Deke died almost two years ago. We still called him Deke.

SAG

My father was such a likeable person. When he died they had to close the company so employees could attend the funeral. And instead of going out on their boats they all came. He would have felt so honored.

His children seemed to inherit that from him. Some more than others.

My oldest granddaughter was invited to be a delegate to the Student Athlete Games. They are held every two years. Australia has them one year and the University of Rhode Island the next.

She went to Rhode Island. Her parents and brother went too but of course could not stay in the dorms. They invited me and I went too.

The motel we stayed in was close to Lizzie Borden's house which we visited. We visited a Naval museum. It was fun scrambling through all the ships. After being lost in Boston for a time we went through the JFK memorial library.

We also went to the university to watch the sporting events; especially the ones my granddaughter played.

The final night they had a guest speaker. It was former President Bill Clinton.

There were several hundred of us in attendance. There were student athletes from all over the world. It was not a political gathering.

Then they announced President Clinton.

As he entered you could feel it. Charisma surrounds him and fills the whole room. Every person there felt like he was speaking to them.

After all these years I can still feel it. My father was charismatic and it drew people to him. The President was magnetic.

I do not even know how to end this. 

Whistle To Go Home

I have mentioned that my father was the marshal of two small towns we lived in. It got a lot of perks for us kids.

When there were parades for homecoming or Labor Day we got to ride on top of the hoses of the fire truck.

 The very best of all was the noon whistle. Every day at precisely 12 noon the noon whistle alerted everyone that it was time for lunch. I can remember seeing men run to get home for a hot lunch. Some of the stores even closed for lunch.

The town marshal had to make sure the noon whistle was activated on time.

We would race to the city building at lunchtime every day. We hoped to be the one who got to turn on the whistle.

Now it was a really easy operation. It was like a light switch. 

The marshal kept a watch on the time. At the precise moment we flipped the switch on.

Immediately you could hear a low growl that built in strength. The pitch of its sound got higher as its strength grew.

We let it stay at the appropriate length of time. Then the marshal would have us flick the switch off. The whistle acted like it had no energy left. It slowly got less shrill and quieter until the sound was gone.

I cannot explain the thrill of blowing the noon whistle. There was power in knowing that I was the person who let everyone in town know that it was time for lunch. Also my daddy trusted me with that responsibility.

I know it was actually the marshal who was responsible. But my daddy let me feel important.

Talk To Me

Apparently people feel comfortable talking to me. That is fine with me. I love to talk.

I could be standing in line at the grocery store and the person behind me would begin to have a conversation with me. I would learn all sorts of unwanted information. My mother was always amazed. She wished she could do that.

One evening before fixing supper I needed to call the telephone operator for some reason or another. She ended up telling me practically her life story.

She lived with her boyfriend. They were not getting along. She gathered all his belongings and threw them into the front yard.

She was terribly upset. I was on the phone with her for almost 2 hours until she was finally calm enough to let me go.

All I wanted was a phone number.

What To Do

 Every so often I remind you that I have epilepsy. It is a nervous system disorder in which the person suffers from seizures.

I am one of the lucky ones. My seizures are very well controlled with the medication I take. I have not had a seizure in many years.

Seizures can be frightening to those witnessing them too. If you do not know what to do you feel totally helpless. I can help. You can know what to do if you see someone having a seizure.

1. If they are upright, lower them safely to lying on their side. That will help keep them from injuring themselves in a fall.

2. NEVER, EVER, EVER, try to force anything into their mouth. Fingers have been bitten off. Tableware and wooden sticks are either broken or cause damage to teeth.

3. The human tongue is a muscle. It sits in a particular spot in the body. It is physically impossible to swallow your tongue. However the tongue like any muscle can fall to the back of the mouth and block the air passages. Gently position the person on their side. That way the tongue falls to the side instead of the back of the mouth.

4. If the seizure lasts for more than three minutes or if there are repeat seizures call for medical help immediately.

5. When the seizure is over often the person will lose consciousness or maybe just be confused. When they awaken the body and brain are busy trying to re-establish connections. They have no time to answer questions like "Do you know me?" Leave that for professionals. Simply say, "hi, (insert their name, it is important). I am (insert your name, it is important). You just had a seizure. You are safe and I am right here. Everyone is taken care of. You need to rest so go to sleep. I will be here when you wake up." If an ambulance is on the way or the doctor is on the way let them know that too. That way they can let their body heal itself without wondering what is going on.

In the beginning  I was up and full of energy after a seizure within a couple of hours. As time went on it took me at least two full days to be able to even get out of bed and stand on firm feet. Each person is different.

Epilepsy is nothing to be ashamed of. No more than diabetes, heart disease, or asthma. If you were ever to see the list of famous people and world leaders throughout history who had seizures you would be amazed.

But it must be treated. By a doctor who knows what he is doing. Not many do. Most of the "maladies" are only mentioned in medical school in passing. I hope I have enlightened you a bit. I hope you never need the information. But if you are confronted with a situation you now know what you can do.

To Eat Or Not To Eat

My youngest brother was a picky eater. I do not mean he was fussy. He was picky.

There was hardly anything he would eat. Mom worried and talked to the doctor about it. The doctor said he would eat more as he grew older.

In the meantime he took a bag lunch to school every day. It was always the same. Two slices of white bead with 1 leaf of lettuce between them. Every day for I cannot remember how many years.

Most children like spaghetti or macaroni and cheese. Maybe chicken noodle soup or grilled cheese. Not my brother.

If he was at a cook-out he liked hot dogs. Not to eat.

He would wrap them tightly in aluminum foil. Then he threw them on the hot coals.

As the hot dogs got hot they swelled. When they swelled enough they would explode. What little boy could resist that?

I suppose I should let you know that he is now a grandfather. And he is still a little fussy but the foods he eats are a much wider variety...  even vegetables.

Ooooh Scary

My mother was pregnant with me. My due date was August 18.

I was not born on August 18. Daddy thought I might be born on the 20th. That was Mom's birthday. 

I was still not ready to enter the world. Then Daddy began to hope that I would wait until his birthday on September 1.

Oddly enough he did not wish for me to be born on the birthday of any of my three uncles before then. Each had a different day to celebrate.

So to take their minds off the summer heat my parents went to the movies. The Beast With Five Fingers was the one playing. 

It was about an evil man who died but his hand lived on. It went from place to place killing people. Sounds wonderful right?

After the movie they went home. They began to get ready for bed when Mom realized they needed to go to the hospital instead.

I was born at 12:30 AM the next night. I missed everybody and had a birthday all my own.

My mother was scared into having me.

The Farm

It is heart-breaking. 

We live not far from the farm my mother-in-law and father-in-law lived as long as I knew them. 

My husband was born in that house. Not a hospital...that house.

It was a ram-shackle house. And very small. They had to move a mobile home on the property to hold some of the people.

It was not much of a farm in the traditional sense. All the land was on hills that are like small mountains. That means no planting. Even raising livestock would be too hard. 

My children loved visiting their grandparents. As long as they stayed away from the road they had more freedom to rove than they had in the city. Their favorite activity was to climb the hill and roll down. They still go over there when they visit to roll down the hill.

The man who now owns the property has invited them to roll down the hill whenever they wish to.  

When I began dating my eventual husband there were no people living close. The nearest neighbor was about a mile and a half away and there were no other houses until you got into town.

Now there are at least a dozen places between town and the farm. The open scenery is spoiled.

After my mother-in-law and father-in-law died the farm was sold. My husband asked the man who bought it not to take down his mother's weeping willow tree. The man agreed. Unfortunately the tree became diseased and had to be removed.    

All that is left of the farm now is my father-in-law's yard light. There are so many memories tied into that 40 acres. I feel them every time I drive that way.

Those Who Go Down To Sea In Ships

The folks who go to sea are a brave bunch to my way of thinking. They encounter so many things they cannot control. Storms, icebergs, pirates are only a few. No wonder they have superstitions to try to keep them safe. Some of them are:

No bananas on board. This is possibly because they rot so fast

Tossing a coin into the ocean before a voyage will guarantee a safe trip.

Protect the albatross. It is supposed to be the home of the spirit of a sailor who died at sea.

A female on board brings bad luck. I do not know why.

Whistling on board calls winds and storms

Red sky in the morning sailor take warning. Red sky at night sailors' delight. It foretells the weather.

Place a coin under the mast for a safe voyage.

The ship's bell marks watch times and time in general. It also drives away evil spirits to protect thew crew.

Tattoos were made to represent designs to bring good luck to the sailor.

Rats deserting the ship was a bad sign. Fire, leaks, or the ship falling apart are reasons.

My mind describes the Kraken as a giant octopus.

Mermaids lured sailors to their deaths with their beauty.

Phantom ships like The Flying Dutchman struck fear into sailors who feared they would be forced to man that ship.

Losing a hat overboard means a long voyage.

Of course this sis a partial list. Do you have a favorite to share? 

Take Care Of Business

I am an open and friendly (not flirtatious) person. Of course there are exceptions but most people like me. And I like most of them.

Unfortunately that does sometimes cause problems.

My husband had a man he had business dealings with. If my husband was not available I took care of business.

So I will call this man Sam. He was nice enough and I was as friendly with him as I was other men and women we dealt with. I guess he misinterpreted my actions.

He began calling me when he knew my husband was not home. It began to be almost every night while I was fixing supper. 

I told him it was not good to call me. I was taking care of my children and husband. 

One day there was a knock at my back door. When I answered there stood Sam.

He told me he had come through the alley so neighbors would not see. There was no alley. I told him I had nothing to hide from anyone.

I allowed him in and told him my husband was at work. My children were home with me. 

We spoke for a few minutes and I let him out the front door.

That evening I told my husband that he needed to do something. Because of business I would still have to deal with Sam occasionally. But I had not been able to convince him that I was just being nice. I was not interested in anything more.

My husband said no more to me. But after that if Sam was around for business he was courteous but no more. I was myself and comfortable.

Good husband.

Find A Good Book

My children went to Detroit Public Schools. There are not many good teachers there.

I realized one day that one of my sons could not read. 

Of course I went to visit his teacher the next day. My son was 7 years old. And he could not read. 

I talked to the teacher for quite a while. She told me that she was afraid of my son. If she would announce that it was time for the class to get out their workbooks he would just cross his arms and stare at her. 

I said, " He is 7 years old. Tell him to take out his workbook!"

My children were taught to mind adults. However like all children if they see a weakness they will exploit it.

At the end of our meeting I asked if there was an extra reading book that I could take home. I would work with him at home. She was happy to give me one.

Now I love to learn. It comes easily to me. But I am not meant to be a teacher. The patience needed is not in me. But I wanted my children to be educated so we went to work.

Then the following week my son came home with an armload of books. I was expected to teach every subject his grade was learning. Back to the school I went.

This time I spoke to the principal. I explained that I wanted to help with his reading but his teacher was being paid to teach. I could not be responsible for the rest. 

He explained that the teacher was going through a nasty divorce. So she takes it to work and does not have to do a good job because she cannot control her feelings?

I was talking to my neighbor later and venting my frustration. She informed me that her daughter had the same teacher a few years earlier. Her divorce had been final at least 10 years ago. 

So I taught my son to read. As a matter of fact I had to teach all of my children to read. They are all very intelligent so it was not difficult.

I am happy to say that they are voracious readers today. No thanks to that 2nd grade teacher and all the others.

Why A Vacation

 I am back from vacation. 

I did not go to some exotic resort or any place fun.

Within less than a week I lost 3 family members who were dear to me.

My husband's younger brother died. He had been ill for a long time. He was the last of the siblings in the family.

He was as much a brother to me as my brothers with whom I shared parents. He left his wife, seven children, and a number of grandchildren.

Then a niece's husband suffered a massive brain hemorrhage. He was a registered nurse and highly admired by many people.

The doctors told my niece immediately that they did not expect him to live.  Modern medicine helped him live in a coma for a short time. My niece, her children, and grandchildren are devastated.

The only cousin I had who was my age died. She had a few medical problems as we do as we age. Left behind is her husband who is not well and a house full of children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

I needed that time to deal with the knowledge they are gone. I am not looking for sympathy here. Our lives move on. I just wanted to let you know why I was gone. I am back now.

Vacation

 I need a vacation I will be gone for a couple of weeks or so. Talk to you when I am back.

Moms Know

My little boy was sick. As his mother I knew it.

He was listless. His eyes did not sparkle. He had no fever or any of the other obvious signs of illness. I am his mother and I knew something was wrong.

I took him to the doctor several times. Each time I was made to feel like I was imagining illness.

Finally I took him to another doctor. He did a few tests. Then he took an x-ray.

My little boy had pneumonia.

He had it the whole time. Medicine was prescribed. In only a few days he was running and playing with his brothers and neighborhood children. His eyes came alive.

Once the pneumonia was cleared he became completely healthy again. Today he is 6'3" tall. 

I am angry with myself because I knew he was sick. I took too long to have another doctor take a look. Moms should listen to themselves and then make others pay attention.

Bedtime

My brother went to sleep every night at 8 o'clock.

No matter where we were or what was happening he went to sleep at 8. We often found him curled up under a table.

When he was little one of my parents would scoop hum up and put him to bed. As he got older another problem developed.

He was too big to carry to bed. But if someone shook him to get him to go to bed he did not completely wake up.

In his sleep he would just mindlessly walk. We had to stop him from walking toward stairs or the picture window. 

We learned to let him get to his feet. Then we would gently hold his shoulders and guide him to bed. All would be fine.

I was talking to him on the phone not long ago. I was laughing with him about going to sleep at 8 every night. His wife laughed and said that he still does.

It is good to know that some things never change.

What Did It Look Like?

My mother was so talented. And she loved to write.

Mom mostly wrote short stories. I was quite young when she had a couple of her stories published in women's magazines.

Once she was very late coming home from a meeting with a publisher. I was about 6 years old and it was the very first time I made supper for the rest of my family.

I made a gourmet meal of scrambled eggs and toast. I am still proud of myself.

Back to Mom's stories. I have never seen anything she had published. I am guessing it may have been a little too racy for little eyes.

I have read other things Mom wrote. She has great stories. I am in awe of her brain.

However... my mother never met an adjective she did not like. She can use 30 different words to describe a pencil. It drives me insane.

It makes me think of the Elizabethan writing style. I felt that was too descriptive too.

It just goes to show that although I am like my mother in many ways description is not one of them.

Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush

Here we go 'round the mulberry bush,
The mulberry bush, the mulberry bush.
Here we go 'round the mulberry bush,
So early in the morning.

source: https://www.lyricsondemand.com/miscellaneouslyrics/childrenslyrics/herewegoroundthemulberrybushlyrics.html

Most of us have heard that song. Many of us sang it to our babies.

My grandparents as you know had a farm. On the farm were a lot of mulberry trees. The trees gave us red, black, and white mulberries.

White mulberries are larger but not as sweet and juicy. The black ones taste the best to me.

Grandpa hated the mulberry trees. Birds like the berries. Unfortunately their droppings stained whatever they landed on. It seemed like there were droppings on everything... laundry on the line to dry, the picnic table in the back yard, and machinery. He did not like cleaning the tractor seats every morning.

There was a big mulberry tree in the front yard. Grandpa decided it had to go. He cut it down.

To make sure it would not grow back he then chopped the stump into pieces. For good measure he poured lime on it to completely kill it. It was gone.

After a few years sprouts began to grow. It was not long before the sprouts were about seven feet high. Mulberries that grew on it were sweet and juicy. Best of all they were easy to reach.

Grandpa was not happy but he gave up. He had created a mulberry bush.

Three Billy Goats Gruff

I have insisted that each new baby in the family hear the same song as their first song. I sing The Unicorn to them. It is now tradition. 

I sing that song to them often. Of course there are lots of other songs too. Grandma cannot carry a tune but she sings at the drop of a hat.

My second grandson was walking through the room one afternoon. The radio began to play The Unicorn. My grandson got a shocked look on his face. He looked at me and saw I was not singing. With a puzzled look on his face he looked at the radio. Then he looked at me. Then he looked at the radio. Me again. Radio. Me.

 I know he was happy when the song was over.

I also love to tell stories and nursery rhymes.

For some reason I remember telling my second grandson Three Billy Goats Gruff when he first came home from the hospital. 

I told all the babies stories. I taught them nursery rhymes. I sang to them. All the things I did with my own children. Life is good.

By the way for anyone who would like to sing or tell stories to children they are available online. All of them.

Memory

My oldest son has an astounding memory. He remembers things from when he was a toddler.

Sometimes it can be a bit frightening. I will say, "You are too young to remember..." He always remembers.

Recently we were talking about the apartment we lived in when he and his first brother were born. He says he remembers the apartment. He also remembers the apartment my parents lived in when they first moved to Detroit.

Then he really shocked me. He had a memory of wandering around an apartment he did not know.

I had completely forgotten about that!

I did not know he knew how-to open the door so I had not locked it. I was tending to his new brother in the bedroom. 

He opened the door and went exploring.

When I went to the living room to check on him. There was no HIM there. I looked through the whole apartment. No him.

We lived on the third floor... no elevator. There were stairs at either end. What if someone had snatched him? What if he had gotten out and fell?

I rushed to the hall outside the apartments. No baby boy. I started to run toward the stairs at the back.

Suddenly I noticed an open apartment door that was open. I went over and knocked being ever so hopeful that they had rescued my baby.

There was my son wandering around. He did not touch anything. He just wanted to look.

No one else was there. He had tried the doorknob and it opened. 

I snatched him up and took him home. Of course I explained to him that he could not just go into someone's home without an invitation. 

As I said before I did not remember this until my son brought it up I was astounded. I had completely forgotten the whole thing.

And from that time I made sure the doors could not be opened by little hands.

Croak

One town I lived in our house was on the main street which was a part of the main highway, We were the last house on our side of the street. It was a great place to live.

My favorite place to be was at the very top of a huge tree. It stood at the corner of our driveway. It was quite tall. Years before someone had placed two boards across the very top which made it comfortable to sit there.

I spent a lot of time up there. It was a small town and I could watch the happenings downtown.

I could also watch the comings and goings of the boy next door. He was much older than I was and I knew I had no chance. He sure was pretty to look at.

We lived in a 2-story house. It even had running water in the kitchen. The cursed outhouse sat out back.

We were also on a 2-phone party line. The other phone belonged to the drugstore.

Like most of our neighbors we had a root cellar. It was like the one in The Wizard Of Oz that Dorothy could not follow her family in when the tornado came. People also stored things they had canned and apples and potatoes in there.

I love rainy weather. When we got a good heavy rain there the toads emerged from all the root cellars. There were thousands of them.

The road in front of the house was completely covered with the little critters. Each one was about 2 1/2 inches long. All of them making the highway look like ocean ripples.

Unfortunately it was the highway. Every now and then a car would drive by. All you heard was POP, POP, POP.

All those poor little toads exploded from the pressure of the car tires.

The next morning we went out to see the carnage. There was no evidence of popped toads anywhere.

Got any ideas where they went? I do not.

Timmy And The Hershey Bar

 My nephew was always getting into mischief. He was a good boy. He just had a lot of energy. As you know an energetic child needs to be busy. 

If he is not given something constrictive to do he will find something to do. And his something will probably get him in trouble.

Timmy was about 8 years old. He loved watching movies using the VCR

Timmy had a Hershey chocolate bar. Hershey bars are a flat piece of chocolate. The VCR tape is flat.

Why he put the bar into the machine we will probably never know. The chocolate melted everywhere.

My sister tried her best to clean it out. That VCR never worked right again.

Timmy is in his mid forties now. He does not remember why he did it. I think it was because it was there.

The Ly Situation

I have another complaint. Ly.

Two innocent little letters. They are so often misused.

My example is the word bad.

If you feel bad you might be ill. Feel better soon.

If you feel badly you are not doing a good job. Think about it for a second. If you are holding a baby badly you might drop it. If you are bad at holding the baby have someone show you how. (Or you might drop it.)

To explain better bad is an adjective used to describe a thing. Badly is an adverb which describes an action.

I hope I was clear enough. We all need to speak more correctly.

The Movie

I am embarrassingly emotional at times. Just ask my children. 

I am not a fan of science fiction movies. I do not care about the doo-hicky that they invented that can transport people to somewhere else. I am not interested in all that mechanical stuff.

So when the first Star Wars movie came out my mother kept telling me that I should take my kids to see it. I was not interested. Who cares about life in the future in outer space?

Mom gave us each a ticket to see Star Wars as a Christmas gift. I was not thrilled. However I did take all four of my children to see the movie. 

I loved it! We actually went to see it several times.

It was such a popular movie that they began making the sequel and its sequel immediately. And of course we saw them as soon as they were available.

In the movies Luke Skywalker was the hero. He had been raised by his aunt and uncle. Darth Vader was the bad guy. 

Through three movies Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader were trying to eliminate each other. Even after they discovered they were father and son.

Needless to say there were many MANY battles between them. 

In the third movie Darth Vader was killed... not by his son. They had a touching reunion before he expired.

In my family we each have a favorite place to sit in the theater, I sit a little bit ahead of the very middle of the seats. Each child has a favorite place and I know where they are.

It was such a loving scene between Luke and Darth when the father dies that I began to cry.

Soon I hear my youngest son who sat more toward the back and the left call in a loud whisper to his brother sitting more toward the front and to the right. "Hey! Look at Mom. She's crying because Darth Vader died." Not all the snickers came from my children.

But wait. There's more.

After the movie we went to the ethnic festival. It was being held beside the Detroit River in downtown Detroit.

As we walked along my adorable son would greet people saying, "That's my mom. She cried because Darth Vader got killed."

Isn't he cute???????

Do Not Be Afraid To Ask

I received a bill from the hospital after my baby was born. As I do with all bills I read it carefully.

I do not know medical billing but I did find something that puzzled me. There was a tray with a number that was charged twice. 

I had no idea what it was so I called the hospital and asked. The woman was very nice while letting me know that I was interfering with her day.

She looked in her list of medical terms. Then she looked at her copy of my bill. 

Tray number whatever was for performing a circumcision. They were charging me twice for my son's circumcision.

She very kindly took it from the bill.

If I had been afraid to ask I would have been overcharged.

A good thing to remember is that if you ask you will get one of two responses. In the case above the response was positive. I saved some money.

If the response had been negative the charge would have stayed on the bill. and I would have paid it. I would only have lost some time.

If you have a question always ask. You never know which answer will come but it is better than not knowing.

IT IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE

My son liked to watch Star Trek. All of them.

The second incarnation was Star Trek: The Next Generation. It introduced a character named Worf.

Worf is a Klingon. Klingons live for battle. When barging into war a Klingon screams IT IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE. It is a way of saying that if the warrior is brave in battle there is no more honorable way to die.

My son has an affinity for gadgets. He had one of the first home computers. He was on the internet as soon as it was available to him.

He kept telling me about all the interesting things he was doing. I really was not interested at all.

Finally one day he talked me into looking at it. He found a site I was willing to look at. I read it and learned a few things. Soon I was on the computer often reading that site.

Then I discovered these things called links. If I clicked on a link it would take me to a different site. Wow. I could find stuff. I would sit and click away. 

I found some things I liked. I found some things I did not like. I found some things that embarrassed me. I still clicked away.

Until... one day I clicked on a link. What appeared was a totally black page that somehow had a red tint to it. I was puzzled.

Then a loud deep voice told me IT IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE!

I ran to get my son. I was terrified. I thought somehow I had clicked onto a curse of some sort.

My son just laughed at me. He explained that he had installed Worf's voice to sound if the computer crashed.

It's not funny!