Daddy

 As much as I loved my mother; that is how much I adored my father. 

Daddy was born into a large family. He had one younger brother. The other 9 children were quite a bit older. His father was an alcoholic. His mother was a woman tasked with raising all those children in rough circumstances. Unfortunately she was a selfish woman who could at times be cruel.

When WWII broke out Daddy was still a teenager. Finally cane the day my father came home to find his father drunk once again. They had an argument that ended with my father telling his father that he was done with getting into fights because of him. 

Daddy went and joined the Navy. His ship was under radio silence when his father died. He was not notified until after the funeral.

While Daddy was on shore leave he bought a few souvenirs. Among them were two kimonos. One was for his wife and one for his daughter.

He had not yet met my mother. That happened after he was discharged after the war. His younger brother was dating my mother's younger sister. Those two arranged a blind date between my mother and father. It was a double date.

My parents hit it off. My aunt and uncle eventually broke up and married other people.

After my parent married I was born. I was the little girl Daddy wished for. I have always felt special because of that. I wore that kimono until I could not fit in it. 

I will admit that Daddy spoiled me some. That is not to say that he did not discipline me because he certainly did. But I never felt unloved. 

When I was grown Daddy was so important to my life. There were times when I was tired of being a grown-up. Daddy's emotional lap was always there for me. After being with him for a while I could go back to being an adult.

Daddy could do anything. My family under his direction actually built a house. He laid the foundation, did the plumbing and electrical installations, laid the floors, erected the walls, put on the roof. We helped by pounding in nails, handing tools, installing sheet rock, and painting. Mom wanted hardwood floors so once the wood was installed she did the finishing. The house is still there. I drive by it once in a while and remember the love and labor we put into it.

All of Daddy's grandchildren have wonderful memories of him. They laugh about him throwing his slipper if one of them stood too long between him and the television. They remember him coaching their little league games. They remember the workshop he had on his back porch. He had a section filled with old tools, boards, screws and nails set aside just for them. They remember just spending time with him.

The only time I ever saw Daddy cry was when my brother was killed in Vietnam. He was so hurt and so proud at the same time.

He never quite understood why any of us moved away to have our own families. He was most content to have all of us right there with him. We loved the security we felt knowing he was there for us.

Daddy was not yet 56 years old when he died of a massive heart attack on Good Friday. At the time he was the manager of the plant where he worked. 

In a case when a member of the company died the union would send a delegation of 2 or 3 people to represent the workers. My father was so well thought of that every one of his employees wanted to attend. 

Even though it was unprecedented the plant was closed for the day of his funeral. There had been the holiday of Easter. There was beautiful weather. All those men could have been with their families at a barbecue or out on their boats that day but they all showed up at the funeral home. A lot of them stood outside because there was no more room inside. Daddy would have been so proud.

As you can see my father was a wonderful man. He was loved by his family and friends. He was a community leader. 

Most of all he was my Daddy.

One Less

 I found a text message on my phone this morning. My brother-in-law let me know my nephew died lat night. His 49th birthday was less than a month ago.

He is the son of my sister who is in a nursing home because of a stroke she suffered several years ago. She does not yet know.

My brother-in-law will not be allowed to see her until June 2. That is the earliest appointment they will give him. I asked if they could make an exception for the emergency. He said they would not.

My nephew has been sick for years. There was something wrong with his pancreas. It periodically became inflamed causing him a lot of pain. In and out of the hospital. 

My sister made him promise her that he would not die. He tried so hard to keep that promise.

When I spoke to him a few days ago I could hear the pain in his voice. He sounded terribly weak. I had no idea that he was going to die.

As we got ready to end our call I said, "You know I love you." He said, " I know. I love you too." I am finding some small comfort in that.

Trees Waving In The Summer Breeze

 We have two big trees in front of our house. By big I mean huge. They stand at either end of the house.

The tree closest to the corner of the streets is much larger than the other. It grows out everywhere. A good strong wind drops pieces of the tree in the yard and occasionally onto the roof. It makes a huge noise and I have even been awakened thinking the tree had fallen onto the house.

It had one gigantic branch that grew out over our street. This spring smaller shoots grew from it and hung over the street. They were low enough to brush cars as they drove on the street.

We decided to call a tree trimmer and have both trees trimmed.

The man came out and my son told him what we wanted done. He quoted a price. It was certainly more than we wanted to pay but it was fair. We told him to do his thing.

He came with two trucks. One had a 'bucket' on a hydraulic lift arm. The other had a big hydraulic claw the laid in the bed. He parked them on the street and left!

When he finally returned he went to work. He trimmed pieces first. He had to be careful because that big branch could possibly fall onto the propane tank of the woman across the street. 

Then he began cutting larger pieces. They gave big thumps when they fell to the ground. He was here and busy all day. Toward the end of the day he used the claw to pick up everything he had cut from the tree. Boy was there a lot.

But he was not finished. When he returned he had an assistant. He climbed back into the bucket and up he went. He cut and cut and cut. His wife/assistant stayed on the ground and cut the branches into smaller parts. 

They worked steadily all day. Again at the end of the day the claw came out. The truck with the claw was so full of branches.

The tree man and his assistant returned the next day. He still had to trim the back side of the tree and trim the second tree.

Back into the bucket he went with his wife doing her job on the ground. All morning long we heard the saw and then the thump of a branch falling to the ground.

At lunch they left and took the truck full of tree pieces with them. When they returned it was back to work.

They finally finished with the big tree. Now it was time to trim the smaller one.

The smaller branches dropped more quickly. I was surprised at how many there were.

Out came the claw again. And once again the truck was full. 

They cleaned up all the fallen pieces. It is really amazing how even the smallest pieces were managed by the claw.

Then they cleaned up the rest with a rake and leaf blower. 

I must say they did a fine job. I had no idea it would take three days. I also had no idea what a big job it actually was.

So I have two nicely groomed trees. It feels right.

MOM

 I miss my mother.

When I was a child Mom was the person I looked to for almost everything. She fed me. She kept me as clean as she could. ( I was always playing in the dirt.) Most of all she loved me.

My hair grows fast. Mom used to braid my hair each day. That was the style for little girls. When teenagers began to wear pony tails she realized they were easier and faster. I was the first little girl in town to wear a pony tail.

When I was about 8 years old I started to beg for shorter hair. By that time I had to take care of it and it was not easy. Finally Mom gave in and cut my hair and gave me a permanent. Anybody remember Tonette perms for little girls? And they came with a paper doll to keep me busy while all the processing happened.

I was happy with the results. Mom  was pleased. Daddy was furious. 

I am the oldest of 7 children. That meant I was Mom's main assistant. I did not mind. It was that way for most families at that time.

She taught me to cook and do other household chores. I liked cooking. The rest of it not so much.

Mom was a calm person who took everything in stride. On a driving trip we took together we stopped in Salem, Massachusetts, to get a reading from a witch. Salem is full of them. The young man commented that Mom was like a calm, smooth-flowing stream while I had sparks shooting everywhere. It was so true.

Mom loved to write. When I was in early grammar school she had articles published in some of the popular women's magazines of the time. 

My mother was the most intelligent person I ever knew. (My mother-in-law was the wisest by the way.) It seemed as if Mom knew the answer to any question we might have. But she also taught us to find the answers for ourselves.

We actually went to college together. If either one of us was writing a paper and searching for that perfect word we would grab the phone. We would bounce words off each other until that word came to us.

As I matured my mother became one of my best friends. We both loved baseball. Her grandchildren would sit in the backyard in the summer so they could hear us yelling at the TV during a game. They did not know we also heard them laughing at us.

There were so many things we did together. One of the best was the driving trip we took through New England. We took turns driving. We stopped to see whatever one or both of us wanted to see. We bought souvenirs for everybody. It took us a week before we ended the trip in Kentucky at my sister's house.

I miss Mom. Since it is Mothers Day I miss her a bit more.

Happy Mothers Day to all mothers.

I Have Been Replaced

 My sons were talking on the phone today.  I was not paying attention. Really I was not.

Then my ears picked up the word eggs.

They were discussing recipes. 

Both households have hot air ovens. We use ours often. As it turns out so does my other son.

Someone gave my son some eggs. He had heard us talking about hard boiled eggs and he wanted to learn how to make them. He called his brother instead of his mother!

Soon the talk turned to the best way to make vegetables. At first I found it amusing. Can you image two men discussing recipes in the 50's? Both would have been sent for conversion therapy.

Then I realized I have been replaced. No calls to see how long to leave a roast in the oven. No more calls to see how to make refried bean and chili. No more asking me about which spices to use. 

I must point out that when they were young I taught my boys to cook. Similarly I taught my daughter  to change oil in the car and change tire. I wanted Them to marry companions not mommies or daddies. I guess I did too good a job.

By the way for any one wondering how to make hard boiled eggs in the hot air cooker here goes:

Place 6 eggs on the tray and place it in the oven. Set the oven at 250 degrees and cook for about 23 minutes. Then place the eggs in a bowl of cold water. When the eggs are cool keep them in the refrigerator until ready to eat.

What Season Is It Anyway?

 We had some snow overnight a few days ago. Not a lot but enough to cover things. It is supposed to be spring.

I see a few encouraging signs. The trees are putting forth leaves. High winds have even blown a few baby seeds from the maple trees.

Lawns are being mowed early Sunday. I wonder why that is the day so many people choose to mow the lawn.

As I drive by farms with cattle I see so many tiny calves. So far I have not seem any lambs or kids. Maybe their mothers are keeping them more out of sight. 

I have seen a few young deer. I think for the most part the really young ones are kept secluded. I have however seen a couple with their spots still in place.

Our town used to be a haven for feral cats. There are still a few but not as many. I have not seen any kittens this year.

A lot of families have a dog or two. It is seldom that any have babies. This state requires that all rescue dogs be fixed soon after adoption. It is a good idea.

A sure sign of spring is the turkey vultures. They have returned. I see them soaring in the sky scouting for tasty morsels.

The weather is having a hard time making up its mind. It will be extremely warm for a couple of days then temperatures will drop. Nighttime temperatures are often at or below freezing.

So I ask you is it spring yet?

Great And Grand

 In the beginning there was a pretty little girl. She had dark hair and bright blue eyes. It was me. It may sound egotistic but I was a pretty little girl.

The little girl had a loud boisterous family. She loved her parents and they loved her back. She had a good life. It was perhaps a better life than most.

She grew up and married. She and her husband had 4 wonderful children. They were healthy and loved. It goes without saying they are also pretty.

The children grew up. As is the way of things each child moved on.

The oldest son decided early that he did not want a wife and children. It was too much work.

The second child was busy with his own life. He eventually became the father of two biological children and 4 step-children. The step-children are all grown and most have families of their own. The biological children are nearing the time they will be ready to strike out on their own.

I will skip to the youngest of the four. The only girl of the four also declared she wanted no children. She is the proud mother of 2. They are both in college.

The youngest son was in a huge hurry to be an adult. He married young and had two children right away. Both are now grown and married.

That leads me to great-grandchildren. Both of my son's children have children. My grandson has 2. My granddaughter has 4. That is right. I am a great-grandma to 6 pretty children.

The newest addition is a little boy. He is named after his great-grandfather.10 pounds, 6 ounces. Great-grandpa would be so proud.

I love it when the family grows. And it all started with a pretty little girl.