Evolution Of Life At The Bar

When the band I managed moved to a new bar to work it was a real change. The bar was huge with a nice dance floor that was slightly sectioned away from the tables.  Everything was clean and the customers were not as ready to cause problems as before. It was almost like a nightclub.

There were two brothers who owned the business. One was always present and the other seldom seen but his wife was always there. They were young like we were.

The older of the brothers was the one who ran the bar. He was a single man who really wanted to marry but had terrible luck with women. It seemed as if each woman was only interested in his money. He was a super nice person and deserved better.

He became a drug user and died at a young age. It was never stated as such but I believe it was AIDS probably from a shared needle.

When his health began to deteriorate the other brother took over. I was never as close to him as the first brother but I really liked his wife a lot.

She was in charge of the waitresses. She was very pretty and friendly. Everyone liked her. They had two little girls who were also very pretty.

She came to me one evening and asked if she could talk to me. I went to a more private spot with her. She was worried that her husband was having an affair. I was shocked. In the first place he was not a desirable person to me. He was nice enough to look at but his personality was rather surly. I was  not sure what to say but it turned out that she just needed someone to talk to.

As time went on she discovered that it was true that he was seeing someone else. Imagine my horror to find out that it was a good friend of mine who was working as a waitress there also.

The wife filed for divorce. She continued to work there which pleased almost everyone. The two women even developed a sort of relationship that was not unfriendly.

After quite some time the wife began to date a customer. He was very nice and very devoted to her. Several months later they married. It is a good marriage and they are happy. By this time she had left the bar to become a full time mother and homemaker.

The owner and my friend also married. She became the person in charge of the floor. She was surprisingly capable. Their marriage is a bit more turbulent but by and large they are happy.

The major problem is that he would like another child and she does not want children. She feels that the two daughters he has are enough.

She was an adopted child and she was raised with an adopted brother. They had a happy life and she loved her parents.

She did not ever try to find her biological parents. She told me that she had no need. I asked if she was worried that her parents would be hurt if she did.

She told me that they actually helped her brother find his mother. So she just had no interest in those who had given birth to her. And she did not want children.

I was no longer working at the bar. The band had undergone so many changes. They finally left the bar and shortly thereafter the band was no more.

My friend and her husband who owned the bar sold it. They have moved on to better things. I guess we all did. I miss the big happy family that we were at one time.

There were many personalities there. We truly cared about each other.

The death of the one brother was a big blow. We all loved and respected him. The divorce and remarriages were important events to all of us. We all came through the best we could. Not all parties are friends but they are friendly. It is as much as can be expected sometimes.

But, oh my, what a time we had. It was good.

Oscoda

A friend and I decided to take a couple of weeks away from regular life. After much discussion and checking our funds we settled on a cottage north of the thumb of Michigan's mitten.

The cottage was in a small community of cottages just outside of Oscoda. The location was ideal. I could step out of the door of the cottage, turn left and I was standing on the beach of Lake Huron.

I was usually the first one awake in the morning. I could either look out a window at the view or sit on the small landing that served as a sort of porch.

I could look out one window at the serenity of the lake. There is something so soothing and calming about a body of water. I think perhaps it might be a form of meditation because I can just look and not have my mind working.

Another window gave me a view of the picnic area in the midst of all the cottages. There were tables, lots of grass and a few flowers, and bird feeders. Hummingbirds were plentiful at the time we were there and I could spend hours watching them.

I had the same views if I chose to sit outside. The difference was that I also had sounds to accompany the sights.

In the morning there was a very slight sound of surf from the lake. The birds and small animals made all their little noises. Even though the highway was close it seemed very far away so the sounds of travel were muffled. It made for a feeling of well-being as I sat and soaked in the peace.

At night when I looked out over the lake I could see huge waves rolling in to the shore. I had not realized that the lakes enjoyed tides of that magnitude. Watching them roll in is awe inspiring. Again it gave me a feeling of contentment.

We could swim in the lake during the day. The water was warm that time of the year so it was fun to just get in the water and stay there until my skin was pruny.

In the evenings there was a huge fire pit on the beach. The cottage owners provided firewood and anyone staying in the cottages was welcome to sit around the fire. You could roast marshmallows and hot dogs. You could tell ghost stories or tall tales. You could sing songs that everybody knew and if you were lucky someone brought their guitar.

Our cottage was small. We had one living room/kitchen, one bedroom, and one bathroom. However it was comfy. We had to provide our own food but there were dishes and pots and pans. Nothing fancy but it was to provide necessities not luxuries.

They even provided a barbeque grill in case we decided to cook out. It was fun to cook my meals outside as I watched the activity on the lake.

We could see the occasional Great Lakes freighter. They are quite distinctive in shape. There were a lot of boaters. Some were fishing; others were just out for a boat ride in the sun.

As much as we loved being on the lake and in the cottage we did do other things too. Driving through the country is a favorite pastime of mine. Just to look at the trees and houses along a country road is satisfaction enough. But sometimes you make some unexpected finds.

One day we came across a nursery. It was buried out in the country but obviously did a booming business. We were not in a position to buy anything right then because we would not be able to plant right away. But we had a good time looking at all the things they had to offer.

We rented a canoe another day and alternately rowed and coasted along the Au Sable River. At one part of the day a beaver swam along side of us on his way to his dam. He was a cute little critter.

We tried some of the local restaurants too. My favorite was an "all-you-can-eat" buffet place. Most places like this provide you with a bit of meat and a buffet of several types of sides. This one served seafood.

From the buffet you could choose fish, shrimp, roast beef. Then there was mashed potaoes, macaroni and cheese, spaghetti salad, and several other carbohydrate offerings. Vegetables both raw and cooked were plentiful. They even had corn on the cob.

There was a separate salad bar. It had more than the usual lettuce, tomato and a few toppings. All sorts of fresh garden vegetables as well as sprouts, mushrooms, garbanzo beans, with shredded eggs, cheeses, bacon bits, and various nuts for the top.

What we did was each make a salad, and fill a plate with fish and all the sides we could fit on it. Then we took one plate and piled it high with shrimp to share. We piled another plate with crab legs. We not only ate all that but we had another plate of crab legs for good measure.

It was close to closing time when we arrived at the place. My experience with this type of restaurant is that as closing time draws near they begin to take away the empty containers of food in order to make for a quick cleanup when the customers have gone.

Not this place. They closed and locked the doors to newcomers but kept refilling all the food. A glutton's paradise.

I ate so much there that it is embarrassing to tell you about it. Everything was delicious. When we finally went back to the cottage we moaned and groaned our way in. I have honestly never eaten anywhere close to that much in my life.

My stay at the cottage in Oscoda was one of the happiest times I have spent away from home. I actually cried when it was time for it to end.





canoeing beaver

Poppy Poster Contest

In the United States we celebrate Veterans Day on November 11. It is a day to honor the men and women who have served in our country's military.

A lot of my family have proudly served. Some served voluntarily and others were drafted.Being drafted does not necessarily mean that they were not proud to serve. It simply means that their choice was restricted as to timing.

Many of our military have returned home after giving their time to no jobs, no family, and other insurmountable problems. Most can regain a fairly normal life but some cannot.

If they had to endure the horrors of war things are worse. I have often said of the Viet Nam War that no one came back whole. If they were fortunate enough to have whole bodies they still had the emotional scars. Usually those are more difficult to treat.

So we honor our veterans... those who were lucky enough to come home alive. There might be parades or other celebrations.

Veterans organizations sponsor a lot of the celebrations. They are the ones who try to keep us mindful that there are people who were willing to give their all for the rest of us. We need to remember.

So one of the things they do is to sell poppies. Not real poppies. The veterans and the veterans auxiliary organizations used to make them by hand. I think they are probably mass produced these days. Then for a donation you can proudly show your support for these wonderful people.

The money they collect is used in various ways. Medical help, job counseling, family services are only a few. I buy a poppy every year to honor the veterans of my family. My father and brother are the main ones but there are so many others.

When I was very young we honored the veterans in various ways. There was a parade and a trip to the cemetery to also honor the fallen as well as veterans who had aged and died. There were activities in the park. It was a beautiful way to remember.

At school we made posters in art class. We were to make a piece of art to show our thoughts about Veterans Day. A poppy was to be a part of the poster. We each took a donation to school to purchase the poppy for our posters.

Our posters were then displayed in various businesses around town. Mine was in the little grocery store a block and a half from my house. I was so proud.

I do not remember too much about the poster. I do remember there was an airplane and the poppy.  Nothing more. But it must have been pretty good.

A committee went up and down the street looking at all the posters on display. They judged them all and chose the top three. Mine took third place.

I was in second grade. These posters were from the whole school and mine was third best!

We were notified at school of the winners. I do not remember who else won but they were all older than I was. I did not even know there was a contest until that day.

My prize was a check for $1.00. That is correct; one dollar. It seemed like a fortune. It was 1954 and a dollar could buy a lot.

On my way home from school I stopped at the little store where my poster was right there in the front window. I told the owners who I considered to be my very close friends that I had won third place. They were proud of me.

The next day my poster was still in the window only now it had a third place ribbon attached to it. Wow. I felt famous.

The owners of the store cashed my check for me that day. I bought a half gallon of ice cream so my whole family could celebrate with me. I also bought myself an ice cream treat to eat on the way home and stuck the change (yes there was change!) in my pocket.

The Poppy Poster Contest is the only prize I have ever won for something like that. It was a big deal.

Remember at least one veteran today. Even if you are not in the United States your country has veterans too. They are important people.

More To Remember

I had such fun the last time I took a trip down memory lane that I decided to do it again. I happen to remember each and every one of these things. I am so old!

Mumbley peg is not recommended for children. I cannot believe that we played and our parents did not realize that we were doing it. There are two versions that we played. Each player had his/her own pocket knife to use.

In the first version each player would stand with legs spread apart. They would take turns dropping their knives to see who could get it to stick in the ground closest to his own foot. The older boys flipped the knife at the opponent's foot to try to be closest but us younger one's were not quite that stupid.

In the second version each player would do trick flips with the knife. If the knife stuck in the ground the player could keep playing. If his knife did not stick and his opponent's knife did not stick they continued. But if his knife did not stick and his opponent's did the game was over.

Pick-up sticks were great fun. Colored sticks that look like toothpicks with pointed ends and about 7 inches long. You gather the sticks together lengthwise and stand them together on end and let go. The sticks will fall into a pile. You must pick up the sticks one at a time without moving any other sticks. Each color is worth a certain amount of points to be added at the end to see who wins.

Most people did not have air conditioners back then. It was a challenge to try to keep cool. If our parents said we could we played in the sprinkler. Sometimes we had no sprinkler so one of us would hold the water hose with a thumb or finger partially blocking the flow of water to make a spray we could run through.

Different kinds of sprinklers make for different kinds of enjoyment. The ones that spray in an arc were fun. They sprinkle from side to side up and over. I liked to lay in the grass and let the sprinkle pass over me as it went from one side to the other.

There are sprinklers that spin the water out. You have to be quick to get a share of water from those. Sprinklers that are like hoses with holes in them are not quite as much fun as the others but they cool you off.

Davy, Davy Crockett, King of the wild frontier. Davy Crockett was the most popular anything for a while. There was a series of Davy Crockett mini movies made by Disney for the weekly show. Everybody was singing the theme song.

Kids had coon skin caps, bb guns, lunch boxes; you get the idea. Anything with Davy Crockett on it would sell.

Speaking of Davy Crockett the company that made Wheaties breakfast cereal had a Davy Crockett promotion. On the back of every Wheaties box was a 45RPM record imprinted into the cardboard of the box. When you had emptied the box you carefully cut the record from the box and played it on your record player. They really worked.

Slinky came into being when a sailor was testing different types of springs to use to stabilize instruments at sea. One of the springs fell from a shelf and followed itself to the table and the floor. A remarkable toy was born.

Original slinkys were made of steel and lasted forever as long as they did not get tangled. Today most of them are made of plastic because it is so much cheaper. Perhaps it is my imagination but I do not think they perform as well as the old steel ones.

Kick ball was a popular game at school. It is played much the same as baseball except that the ball is almost the size of a basketball and you kick it (hence the name kick ball) instead of using a bat. The school liked it because the ball seldom went through a window. We liked it because a person did not need to be as talented as for a baseball game.

Young men wore a hair style that was called a D.A. It was combed back at the sides where the hair met at the middle of the back of the head. There the hair was combed upward to resemble the feathers of the tail of a duck. We were allowed to call it a duck tail but a slightly more risque name for the back of the duck was what really made it a Duck's A**.

Games on the playground were often played in the round with everyone in a circle except for "it". "It" would make a situation so that people from the circle would have to try to catch him. If they could not they would be it. There were games played in lines that were similar.

Some of those games were duck duck goose, pum pum pull away, freeze tag, and drop the hankie. Dodge ball where one person is "it" and everybody else takes turns trying to hit him with the ball and keep away where everybody tries to keep "it" from intercepting the ball sort of fall into the same category.

Jump rope with the little rhymes that accompany the jumping is fun. Almost all girls had a jump rope to jump by herself. Longer ropes were used as two girls twirled the ends as the jumper jumped. More than one person could jump at a time that way.

There were specialty jumps using the single rope and the long rope at the same time or two long ropes being twirled in opposite directions and many variations of each of those.

For a while there was a game called Chinese jump rope using long ropes made of rubber bands. I watched others do it but I never really understood it. It was entertaining though.

Jacks are little star shaped pieces, 10 in all. There is a ball about an inch in diameter. You toss the jacks to slightly spread them in front of you. Then you gently toss the ball into the air... not too far now. Before the ball comes down you pick up one jack. Then you catch the ball in the same hand the jack is in as the ball bounces up again.Set the jack down beside you and do it again. You try to get all ten of the jacks in this manner.

That is not the end of the game however. The next time around you have to pick up two jacks at a time. Next time.three. These are called onsies, twosies, threesies. You will do foursies, fivesies, sixies, sevensies, eightsies, ninesies, and tensies.

Now you may think that is the end. Nope. You start all over with onesies but this time the ball must bounce twice before you catch it. You can stay busy for a long time with jacks.

Kick the can. For this game you need a tin can. "It" watches as another player kicks the can as far as possible. "It" then runs to retrieve the can as the other players hide. As "it " finds the hiding players he places them in the area designated as jail. They must remain in jail until all players have been captures unless one of the other players comes out of hiding to rescue him. The problem with that is that the other player leaves himself vulnerable to be caught as well. When all players have been jailed the first player captured is "it".

Cars were distinctive in the "olden" days. You could immediately identify a car just by looking at it. But they still went through a lot of changes in style.

Most cars used to have running boards. Those are the metal "sidewalks" beneath the doors on either side of the car. I am not certain what they were for. Perhaps at one time they were strong enough to provide a step up to enter the car.

Tail fins made a car look longer and oh so cool. The bigger the car the better.

Back then the really cool cars sat low to the ground and were called low riders. Really cool cars were lower in the back than in the front.

The last game for this time is hopscotch. A series of squares is drawn on the sidewalk or street using chalk. In the beginning of the game you just hop on one foot to the end of the squares, hop to turn around and hop back. There are spots where two squares will be side by side. Each foot goes into one square at the same time.

For subsequent turns a marker such as a rock is used to toss to squares beginning with the first square. You jump over that square and complete your round. When you come back to that square you stand on one foot (two if you are in side by side squares), bend over, and pick up the stone. You hop in that square and out of the drawing. Using the marker will continue until you have done it to each square.

If you wish to continue you can mark two squares instead of one or set up any challenges you wish.

So how many do you remember? Do you have any to add?

Measure Your Face

When I was a young girl every girl was to have one goal in life. Catch a man, marry the man, and have children. My parents did not emphasize anything so silly but we were taught that concept in school.

Glamor magazines and women's magazines told us how to make ourselves more attractive so men would notice us and of course they would be interested if we looked good enough. There were so many beauty tips and instructions on how to act so that men would be interested.

Of course all of this instruction included the fact that men had very fragile egos. A female should not be too smart or the male would be intimidated by her. A female should be demur. If she was too forward or confident it would scare the male.

When I was in the 7th grade we were required to take a home economics course for a semester. This class was packed with all the things needed to turn us into well-rounded young "ladies".

We learned to make a cake from scratch. I had been doing that for my whole life so it was boring. We made a magnificent apron. If I ever decide to sew I would make another because it was an apron that was useful. It even covered the sides of the body. If the cook absent-mindedly wiped her (and of course it would be a her) down the sides of her body the apron actually covered the necessary area.

We made a skirt. Mine was a dismal mess. One side was about 6 inches above my knee while the other was about 3 inches above my foot. It was terrible. It was a pretty color though and my mother was able to make something from the material.

We learned to dry and arrange flowers to make a comfortable home for our man. We learned to properly set a table and serve a meal. Serve from the left, remove from the right. That is how to place a dish in front of the person. Is that not a helpful thing to know?

We learned how to behave on an outing with a man. Listen attentively and always look at him when he speaks. Of course you must not be too forward. Always defer to his wishes. And men like to be considered the protector so you must seem rather helpless. Poor fragile men.

An important thing to know was to change your underwear daily because men have a more developed sense of smell. We must not offend.

Cleanliness is next to something that will be important to that man. We even had to learn to wash our hair. One of the girls had an expensive sweater on that day so she removed it to keep from ruining it. That happened to be the day the janitor walked into the room unannounced. She screamed a lot.

It seemed to me that by the time we were 12 years old we should already know how to do all those things (with the exception of drying and arranging flowers). I thought it was a frivolous class.

But the class was required. There was one thing that I learned there that was fun and funny. It is how to measure your face.

We were told that this was the measure of beauty. It was used to determine if a model had a photogenic face. I hope you try it. It is fun and seems to work quite well.

First you hold your hand up with fingers open. Move your thumb next to your forefinger. It should reach ever so slightly below your first knuckle. This is your measuring tool.

From the earlobe to the top of your ear should be as long as the distance from the end of your thumb to the end of your forefinger. Did you try it? Amazing isn't it?

From one corner of your mouth to the other should be the same length. The tip of your nose to the spot between your eyes is the same. Each eye should be the same from corner to corner.From your eyebrow to the hairline (your forehead) will also be the same.

But the most important measurement is that your face from the side hairline to the other side hairline while going across your eyes should be exactly five units of measurement.

Now I know that models are not supposed to be full-faced these days. That was a long time ago. But how well do you match up to the beauty standard of those days? It was truly important if you wanted to catch that man.

Another Granddaughter

I have another granddaughter to introduce to you. She is my son's step-daughter. He was present was present when she was born. He no longer is a couple with her mother but he has remained close to her as one must when you share children.

My granddaughter adores her father, my son. She does know her biological father but has chosen to stay away from him. From what she has told me there were some physically and emotionally abusive behaviors.

When she was very small she could always be found at my son's house. She told me she was taking care of him. Her mother and grandmother lived just down the street but she preferred to be with her dad. Any females who came around were subject to her scrutiny and often lost.

When her mother moved to another state with her husband my granddaughter of course went too. But every chance she could she would have her dad purchase a ticket and she would fly to the city where we lived. She would stay as long as possible before she went home.

There was a lot of chaos at home and she really likes a calmer atmosphere. She is a quiet girl and absolutely no trouble. She is anxious to be helpful and does not wait to be asked to run the vacuum cleaner, for instance.

Ater a few years my granddaughter's family moved back to where we lived. She was at her dad's house again.

One year at Christmas we were all together for Christmas Eve as usual. The children usually sit on the floor because adults get a place to sit first. My granddaughter was sitting by my feet because she was feeling extra close to me that year.

I always give the children what I call stockings. Seldom are they actual stockings. They might be a small waste basket, a mesh laundry hamper, or something large enough to hold a few goodies. In them I put candies and small toys. They are for the children to play with until everyone has arrived. It keeps them from getting restless and they are not begging to open gifts.

This particular year I had included a small plastic animal in each stocking. They were supposed to be stress relievers because they were filled with fluid and it is supposed to be relaxing to squeeze them.

My granddaughter was having a good time with hers. She laughed and laughed when it made funny faces as she squeezed it. She squeezed it again and again. Then when she squeezed it yet again it suddenly exploded!

The fluid went everywhere. It was all over my granddaughter and me and the floor. She was shocked and so apologetic. I kept assuring her it was not a problem but I was laughing so hard I am not sure she heard me.

Like all the grandchildren she liked to come for the weekend. We often went on excursions to a state park or something. It is nice for kids in the city to get away from the hustle and bustle.

My granddaughter liked to watch for wild animals. What she really liked more I think was the peace and quiet.

My granddaughter also liked Grease. One year I discovered that the play would be in our city for her birthday. I asked her mother if I could take her.

We made a night of it. We went out to dinner at a nice restaurant. Then to the play. She got a souvenir sweater and was very happy.

Then it was time to go home. Her mother had asked me to drop her off at her grandmother's house because she would not be home. My granddaughter became more and more quiet the closer we got.

Finally she asked if she could go home with me. I could not take her because I had to go to work the next day but she was extremely upset.

After some coaxing I got her to tell me why she did not want to go to her grandmother's house. She was worried that her uncle would be there. He had a drinking problem and would go to his mother's house to cause trouble. My granddaughter was afraid.

When we got to her grandmother's house I took her in. Her grandmother is a nice person. I was exchanging greetings while my granddaughter put her things in a bedroom.

The uncle came in from the kitchen and was very drunk. He was happy to see me and gave me a hug. I had known him since he was a little boy. He then became bossy toward his mother.

I talked to him and quieted him each time he started to pick at his mother. He returned to the kitchen. I told my granddaughter's grandmother that I had to go home because it was late and I had a long way to go. She begged me to stay.

I stayed. I know that the family has violence issues. Like most drunks the son was happy to have someone to talk to so he talked to me off and on for quite some time. The grandmother managed to sneak away to call the son's wife. The wife would call and ask him to come home.

I stayed until after he left. When the wife called to say that he was asleep I told my granddaughter and her grandmother goodnight and went home.

My granddaughter has grown into a beautiful young woman. She is intelligent and gets good grades at school. She plans on going to college next year after she graduates from high school.

I hear from other people that things are not good at home for her. She and her mother are at odds. Her mother likes to party and my granddaughter has no patience for the commotion that it causes.

My granddaughter is working two jobs to pay for the extras needed by a young person. She is so industrious and wants to better herself.

Recently my granddaughter was chosen as Homecoming Queen at her high school. It is wonderful to see her being recognized as the special person she is.

HELLO!?!

So I was lying in bed this morning as I love to do. I was looking at the sights out my window. The phone rang.

Since it was only about 7:30 AM I quickly put on my glasses to see who would call so early. The number is the cell phone of my youngest granddaughter.

I quickly answered. "Hello?" There was no response. "Hello?" No response. "HELLO?' Still no response.

Then I can hear screaming and yelling. In the background someone seemed to be crying. "HELLO!"

I still heard no answer. Suddenly the phone hung up.

I immediately called back. No one answered. I tried again. No answer.

So I called her mother. I told her what had happened. She said my granddaughter was at school. We live in a different time zone so I had not considered that. 

Her mother said she would call the school to see what was happening. She would call me back as soon as she had spoken to my granddaughter.

After a grueling 45 minute wait the phone rang. My granddaughter had been on her school bus when her phone called me. The noise was apparently normal children-on-the-school-bus noise. 

My granddaughter did not realize that her phone had dialed me. It was in her pocket. Somehow it also hung itself up. She was surprised that it happened. 

Her mother thanked me profusely for contacting her. Of course she was my first thought after my granddaughter. If it had been my child I would want to know. Thank goodness nothing serious happened. It was one of those cases of better safe than sorry.