Right Between The Eyes

 Have you ever stepped into something that an animal left behind? You do not always know until it is too late.

When I was working the midnight shift it was often dark when I left for work. My family parked in the back of the house and there was no pavement back there. The cats that were left to roam wild liked it back there. The woman who had lived there before us left food out for them and they kept looking even after she left. Naturally the dogs who also roamed wild came looking for cats. They all left little and not so little calling cards.

It was so hard to make it to my car without stepping into something. Most of the time I knew and could clean it off before I got into the car. A couple of times I was not so lucky.

I went to work and into the tiny room I worked in with usually one other person. One of the women I worked with was really nice but she could not take the odor. I have very little sense of smell and I was oblivious. I was working away when she finally said,"Did you step in something?" I looked and sure enough I had to leave to clean off my shoe.

When I was a little girl one of our games that we played on the farm was to go into the field and see how far we could go be jumping from "cow pie" to "cow pie". I know it sounds disgusting now but we were kids and you know how kids are.

We were careful not to jump on fresh ones. The old dried out ones were the ones we jumped on. They were like huge clumps of dried mud.

But there was the occasional "pie" that looked old and completely dry. When you jumped on those the crust would break and the middle was often runny. Grandma was not happy with us when we did that. We always made sure to go to the pump and wash off before she could see us.

I hated it when I was doing laundry and I went out to take clothes off the line only to discover that the birds had flown over and dropped their droppings on clean clothes. They seem to like sheets the best. When mulberries were in season was the worst. Then everything was purple.

My friends and I were skipping school. We thought we were so clever by hanging out in the courthouse. We figured no one would look for us there.

Around lunch time we decided to leave to get something to eat. It was a beautiful warm day. The sun was shining and the clouds were fluffy and white. I threw my head back just to breathe in the fresh air. Then PLOP; right between the eyes.

It felt like someone had thrown about a cup of wet cement at me. My friends started to laugh. One of the seagulls had taken a dislike to me I guess.

I advise anyone coming out of a government building to look stright ahead or down at the steps. DON'T LOOK UP!