Hand-me-downs. Since I am the oldest of seven children you would think I never had any.
But as I have told you so many times our family did not have a lot of money. I had a lot of hand-me-downs.
There were a lot of families in our little town who were able to buy nice clothes for their daughters. They were often expensive clothes that were not worn too often because there were so many of them. They shopped often.
Several of these families had daughters slightly older than me. When they tired of their nice clothes or outgrew them they would box them up and come knocking at our door.
Those huge boxes contained nice wool skirts with matching cotton blouses. There were pleated skirts and circle skirts. There were straight skirts that show off the beautiful flat stomach of a young girl.
I usually loved the clothes. What girl would not like a new wardrobe?
What I did not like was the way they were given. Believe me I knew even at the time that the clothes were given because the people cared. But they would tell my mother, "If Emma can't use them just throw them out."
The statement made me feel as if the clothes were cast-offs only for someone as lowly as me. Again I do know that is not what was meant but it was hurtful.
I have passed usable clothing on to someone who might be able to use them. I am very careful to say, "If you can't use them perhaps you know someone who can."
I was reading this happily until you mentioned their inappropriate words they said while passing on clothing. I wish they have not overstepped their good deed by saying such line.
ReplyDeleteGiving away is and must be our of kindness. Ruining it with low attitude is embarrassing.
I do give away clothing but never mention to others I do .This can hit others self respect. Not I say anything to whom I give .They know what they can do of them.
Their hearts were in the right place. They did not realize their words were hurtful and I knew it even at the time. But it did hurt.
DeleteYikes, I guess they had forgotten what it was like to be a young girl with tender feelings. How exciting it must have been, however, to receive all those new-to-you clothes.
ReplyDeleteIt was nice to get those clothes. And in a few years my younger sister wore them too.
Delete"But they would tell my mother, "If Emma can't use them just throw them out."
ReplyDeleteWhat a horrible thing to say.
""If you can't use them perhaps you know someone who can."
Indeed. I like it when people give me free stuff, and if I can't use it, I give it to someone who can, or, if I know no one, a charity thrift store.
I sincerely feel that they were bring kind. Maybe they had a no return policy.
DeleteI don't doubt but what they intended to be kind, but you were rightly hurt by their tone-death suggestions that their gifts were so nearly worthless as to be tossed in the garbage if you weren't "lowly" enough to use them.
DeletePeople just need to think about the way they say things.
DeleteThe words spoken by those donating the clothes were certainly offensive and hurtful, perhaps they were not thinking of the impact of their words. I was glad to read that you did get some very nice clothes, Emma. I have shopped at thrift stores for used but still serviceable clothing and other items. Many donated items have been better made then those for sale in stores now.
ReplyDeleteAll I ask is that people consider the words they use. Please consider how your words might impact a child. As I keep saying these people were trying to show me kindness. I know that and knew it then. Their words did hurt.
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