Child Abuse

My sister was pregnant. I was thrilled. I love it when the family has new babies. It continues our family. Each new member is to be cherished just as each other member of the family is cherished.

When my sister first introduced me to the boyfriend who was to become the father of her baby I stood with my fists clenched at my sides. I wanted to hit him so bad. I had no real reason but he did not seem to deserve her.

But he grew on me and we actually became very good friends. He was excited about having a baby. It was fun helping them plan for the newest member of our family.

Then about a month and a half before the baby was to be born the father up and married someone else. He completely abandoned my sister. When my nephew was born his grandmother was forbidden to go to the hospital to see him. Luckily the father's brother had married my sister's friend who had her baby in the same hospital at the same time. Grandma was able to sneak down to say hi.

My sister is a good mother. She was happy with her son and there are more than enough males in our family. He would not lack for male role models.

Then just as suddenly the father started to come around. He wanted to be a father to his son who was four years old. My sister recognized that her son has a right to his father. It was a good thing.

What was bad was that my sister once again became pregnant. But the father stuck around for this son. Then he took  off. He went back to his wife. Where he should have been to begin with.

I have to inject here that I still liked the guy. We had work associations so I saw him often. My sister was off limits as a topic for discussion.

About five years later my sister and I were working together and rode to work along with a friend of hers. On our way to work one night my sister very quietly mentioned that she was in contact with the boys' father again. All I could say was, "Thank God you cannot get pregnant again."

He was divorced now leaving three lovely daughters and a step-daughter behind. What a mess.

But it seemed like he was going to stay with my sister and the boys. As a matter of fact he had a house built in a southern state on the mountain that his family owned. He moved my sister and the boys down there.

My mother followed after a couple of years. She wanted to retire to warmer weather. She had her own place but she watched the boys after school until their parents came home from work.

Things were going smoothly until the day that the boys' father brought home his new wife to introduce her to his family. My sister kicked him out. Mom moved in with my sister to help with the boys and give financial help too.

The father visited often. He would come after the boys were home from school.

One day Mom was in her room and she heard a scuffle. She went out to tell the boys not to fight. There she saw my oldest nephew on the floor with his father on top of him, choking him.

Mom demanded he get off which he did. (Everyone respected and listened to my mother.) As Mom was trying to put things in order as to what to do in what order my nephew grabbed the phone.

He called the police and reported that his father had attacked him. They came right out. I should mention that my nephew was about 12 years old.

When the police arrived they sat the father down and asked all the right questions of everyone. Then they asked my nephew what he wanted to happen next.

He said he wanted his father out of the house and not be able to come back. The police agreed with him and told the father to leave.

Then they explained to my mother how my sister could get a restraining order. Which my sister did the very next day.

The father was not even allowed to visit his mother who lived not far away if the boys were there.

We were all so proud of my nephew. He was proud of himself. And the first thing his little brother did was make a bowl of cereal and take it to his bedroom to eat it. His father never allowed that.

After Mom died my sister and the boys moved back to where we lived. The boys grew up and became fathers themselves.

The oldest has three boys of his own. They all live in the state where their father is from. My nephew has made peace with his father now that he is big enough to keep him in line.

The younger one has a little girl. They all live near my sister. He has little interest in seeing his father.

The abuse was not an ongoing thing. My mother and sister would not have stood for that. The father had been drinking that day and apparently thought that gave him the right to be a bully. But my nephew stopped it.

Boys Will Be Boys

My youngest brother has a son who is the same age as my second grandson. They have had a few adventures together. As is often the case with children the adventures are somewhat exciting and, in my eyes, funny.

I have to tell you that I stare at my nephew a lot. He looks exactly like my father probably looked at his age. It drives my nephew crazy and I try not to do it. But it is just uncanny. My grandson looks so much like my ex husband that it is amazing.  So they both look like their grandfathers.

As pre-teens both boys were"into" wrestling. They watched wrestling on television. Often the matches shown only on pay per view were ordered to be shown at my house so they would be part of the group that came to watch them.

If wrestling was not on TV the boys were locking up and wrestling each other. A lot of the children in the family like to wrestle so that is not unusual. But my nephew is large for his age. He is a very handsome young man. My grandson is small for his age and very handsome also. You would think it to be a mis-match but they could both hold their own.

Before Christmas each year I would have all the children come to my house to make cookies. One year I had my grandson and my nephew. We had to go pick up my oldest grandson from, you guessed it, a high school wrestling meet. I thought they would enjoy watching their older cousin who is an excellent wrestler.

It was a long drive. The boys were in the back seat talking and laughing about different things. Occasionally the subjects would get a little naughty but I let them go because that is what kids do after all. And it was not too bad.

Of course there would be the occasional attempt to wrestle back there too. How they thought they could wrestle with seat belts on I am not sure. Whenever things started to get out of hand I would admonish them to settle them down.

Then they began to really giggle and started to talk about sex. I am not a prude and I let them go. After all they were only getting to know what sex was.

So the conversation was about sex. Then it was about heterosexuals. Then it was about homosexuals. Then it was about bi-sexuals. When they started talking about tri-sexuals I could no longer wait. I had to know what on earth a tri-sexual was. When they explained it to me (it was rather disgusting) I said okay and dropped the subject. So did they.

As I said before there were intermittent attempts to wrestle back there. Each time I had to be a little more firm. I was driving and could not break up a fight from the driver's seat. Finally I resorted to my trusty threat of putting them out if they did not stop. They would slow down and look at each other to keep from laughing, but it would stop for a moment.

Finally I said, "That's it! If you don't stop right now I will pull over and put you out of the car!" My grandson's head snapped up, he looked at his cousin and said, "Oops. She means it this time." All was quiet... for a while.

Of course they forgot themselves and started again. I told them they had been warned. I was going to pull off the highway at the next exit. They both paled and sat very quietly as I exited. What they did not know was that it was the exit we needed to take to get to where we were going. I chuckled to myself.

My oldest granddaughter had just graduated from high school. Her parents had a big party. All her friends and teachers were invited along with their families. All of our family was also there. I love family get-togethers. The generations mingling is special.

My son had gotten out all the things that would keep the children occupied. The croquet game was set up. There was a net for volleyball or badminton. There was the trampoline. There was my grandson's basketball hoop. Targets were set up for shooting practice with the BB gun. There was a slip-and-slide for the children to get wet and be cool. The kids' favorite was the go-cart.

I was feeding Cheetos to my niece's little boy. He loved them. It kept me amused because they turned his hand and mouth yellow. Then my niece would pull out another wipe to clean him off. So I would give him another Cheeto. It was a good time.

Apparently my daughter and my brother had told their sons that in order to ride the go-cart they must ride with an adult. I did not know that. I watched the two of them get on the cart together and take off. At breakneck speed they went around the corner of the house, around the propane tank, down the driveway, and onto the road. I laughed as they did war whoops as they went.

I was still feeding Cheetos to my nephew when my brother looked at my daughter and asked where the boys were. I started to laugh because they had been gone for a while and neither parent had realized it. I told them they had gone off on the go-cart.

They were understandably upset. I just laughed at them. I told them they were probably down by the creek where my oldest grandson went fishing sometimes. All the parents grabbed their cell phones and started calling the boys. No answer.

I laughed. They were going to go look for the boys. I laughed. They decided to try calling one more time. My nephew answered his phone. I laughed.

My nephew reported that they were having a little trouble with the go-cart. I laughed. My brother asked his son where he was. I laughed. My nephew asked my grandson where they were. Neither one was sure. I laughed.

The boys were pretty sure they knew how to get back to my son's house. I laughed. My brother told them to get back right away. I laughed. They said they would. I laughed.

After another long wait my daughter and my brother decided to search for the boys. I laughed. Car keys in hand they started toward the driveway. I laughed.

My son looked up and saw the boys... pushing the go-cart. I laughed. They got to the yard and everybody converged on them. Except me. I was laughing.

It seemed that they had gone into a ditch and the go-cart would not start after that. I laughed. My son looked at his go-cart. The axle was broken. I laughed

So parents were yelling at sons to try to find out what had happened. I was laughing hysterically.

Finally the truth came out. They had been taking turns driving. One of them had tipped the go-cart into the ditch. Both of them spilled out and the go-cart would not start. They were araid to tell anybody so they had been trying to fix it. I laughed.

Parents were still yelling at sons. I had to ask the obvious question. Were they hurt. Oh, no. They were fine. I laughed.

Finally my nephew admitted that the front of his hip was scraped and he had a couple of bruises. I laughed. My grandson insisted that he was fine. I laughed. No wonder nobody takes me anywhere.

When the party was over we all went home. I was watching TV and winding down from the day when the phone rang. My daughter was calling.

My grandson had gone to his room when they got home. My daughter and my grandson's father were watching television. My grandson came downstairs and went to the kitchen. They thought he was getting a snack.

When he was going back up the stairs my daughter noticed that he was holding something so they could not see it. It was a baggie full of ice.

He had a huge lump on the back of his head. He was afraid he would be in trouble if his parents knew. This time my daughter laughed with me.