When To Hit

Timmy is my nephew. He was a child full of energy which also means he was often in trouble.

His parents were not married. A couple of months before he was born his father up and married another woman. We were all shocked.

Because Timmy's father did not want to be in the picture my father (Timmy's grandfather) was happy to be the main male figure in his life.

Timmy got away with things none of us (including grandchildren) would have been allowed to do. Like eat food from Grandpa's plate. 

He adored his grandpa. But Grandpa had a heart attack and died. Timmy was not quite 2 years old.

My husband sort of took over. We all loved Timmy so like all of the children he was welcome at our house any time. My husband (his uncle) did many of the things with Timmy that he did with our children.

My husband left our family. Then my oldest son took over. He has always been especially close to Timmy and his little brother.

Often my mother (Timmy's grandmother) and my sister (Timmy's mother) would call because he was misbehaving and they could not make him mind. My son would go to their house and talk to Timmy. He would explain that there would be harsh consequences if he continued bad behavior. 

My parents raised us not to fight. We lived where children did not fight each other to settle problems. We raised our children the same way.

Unfortunately we moved to and lived in a city where violence was the way many people tried to solve problems. My children learned to fight to defend themselves. Sadly Timmy did not.

My mother and sister did not allow him to fight. My son kept telling them that he needed to defend himself. 

One day Timmy came running into Timmy's own house with a slightly older and quite a bit bigger boy right behind him. That boy was beating on Timmy in his own house in front of Timmy's grandmother!

They called my son. Now they understood why he needed to defend himself. My son told them he would teach Timmy to defend himself. First they would have to let Timmy know it was okay.

My son explained that Timmy should never start a fight but it is okay to defend himself. Then he taught him how to defend himself.

The very next day the other boy was ready to pick on my nephew. My nephew successfully defended himself.

After that the two boys became friends. There was no more fighting.