Life Of A Salesman

My third son became a salesman for his company. It was a large pay increase for him and he was excited about it.

My son is very personable. He is one of those people that other people are automatically drawn to and like. There have been several of those in my family so perhaps it is genetic.

He quickly built up a loyal client base. He was to assess needs and suggest products for the client. He also handled problems with products previously purchased. Most of the time he was able to resolve the problem in a timely manner and satisfy the customer.

There was another salesman with the company who was more than happy to have an "assistant". He did not like to extend himself so he tried to have my son do his work as well.

Now I did not raise stupid people so my son did the right thing. He happily shouldered whatever load that man gave him. The clients were happy, the other salesman was smug, and my son learned a great deal. My son was also the one who knew what was going on and was able to answer all the questions about anything to do with sales.

The part of the job that my son did not like was the travel that was occasionally required. Going to another state and spending several days or a week took him away from his family. He is an extremely devoted family man.

Trips overseas were especially hard. They usually lasted about two weeks but some trips were shorter and some were longer. The boss insisted that both salesmen go.

They had credits cards issued to them by the company as well as expense money in cash. Rooms were reserved in advance and paid for by the company.

Germany was a place they went to often. A lot of businesses in the United States have subsidiaries or other relationships with companies in Europe, especially Germany. My son liked Germany but he says it is different in many ways. 

His fellow salesman was one of those people who give Americans a bad reputation around the world. He was one of those people who would loudly proclaim that he was an American and then he would expect priority treatment even while he was being rude. My son would just shake his head in embarrassment.

Another thing the other salesman liked to do when he was away from home and his family was to visit those places that have "friendly" women. You know the ones. They accept money for "companionship" for a short time. My son says he never participated and I believe him. He is a very moral person and he would not do anything to hurt his family or have them think less of him.

On one occasion the man visited one of "those" places. My son amused himself by wandering around the area and looking at the sights. He liked to see how people lived.

Suddenly there was a commotion. My son looked up to see the other salesman standing at the street screaming at the top of his lungs. He was accusing the woman he had been with of stealing the envelope containing his expense money.

My son managed to extricate the man from the area. The man did not want to calm down and at the same time he was terrified that his wife would find out that he had lost all that money when he had to call her for more. My son pulled the envelope from his pocket and showed the man. He had given it to my son for safe keeping and forgot what he had done.

The man liked to drink a bit too. He had drunk too much and they would be traveling the Autobahn so my son was driving. My son does not like the speeds people drive on the Autobahn because he distrusts other drivers' abilities to maintain control.

So while my son was driving slower than most of the drivers he was still going at a pretty good clip. The other salesman decided to get out of the car... while it was moving on the Autobahn! My son was able to pull the car over and stop. He reached over and closed the car door and settled the other salesman down. The rest of the journey was uneventful.

As salesman they were expected to look presentable at all times. My son would ask for an iron to press his clothes before he hung them in the hotel. It took a little while at the beginning but then he could enjoy himself.

The other salesman used a trick many of us know. A little steam from the shower will relax wrinkles from a suit on a hanger. So he turned on the hot water in the shower and hung his suit in the bathroom. He and my son went to get something to eat.

My son says that restaurant meals are not rushed. It was more than an hour before they made it back to the hotel rooms. My son was ready for bed.

But there was a frantic knock on his door. The other salesman was beside himself. When he went into his room there was water everywhere. The hot water from his shower had melted plastic in the water lines and water was spraying all over. What should he do?

My son called the front desk and told them that the other room was spraying water everywhere. They immediately sent someone to fix the problem. The other salesman was given a different room.

Before the repairman made it up to the room the wet plaster in the walls collapsed. Bathroom fixtures were on the floor. The room was demolished completely. You will be pleased to know that the other salesman graciously accepted the apologies of management for any inconvenience. (Yes I am being sarcastic.)

The one time my son went to France he was disappointed. He could not understand why the sidewalks were so full of mud. Until he realized it was not mud that covered everything. Apparently no one feels the need to clean up after dogs are walked.

They were asked to leave two eating establishments because they were Americans. He does not know if it was because of some bias against all Americans or if it was because the employees of the restaurants could not speak English.

He visited England several times. He liked it there. He was able to take a lot of pictures. The guards at Buckingham Palace were friendly. They posed for pictures with him and even took a few for him so he could be in the shots. I thought they were supposed to be totally aloof.

My son had a lot of fun in England because he had learned how to ditch his fellow salesman and go off on his own. He even managed a quick day trip into Ireland one day.

My son gave up the job of salesman. He just did not like being away from his family. It was a good choice for him. He now has a job that pays far more money and he is home every night. Now that he has three granddaughters he is even more happy to be there with them.

Emergency Room

My children certainly had their share of accidents. I feel I was a good mother. I watched over them carefully but somehow they still managed to get hurt. Not all of their escapades made it to the emergency room but a good many of them did.

My oldest son was not emergency room prone. No. He had to take it further. He was born with two thumbs on one hand. When he was about 9 months old he had surgery to remove the extra one.

After many x-rays the doctors had determined that unlike many extra appendages, my son's extra thumb was an actual thumb. Most extras are simply made of cartilage and are easily removed. Because my son's thumbs were both made up of bones, muscles, ligaments, tendons, and skin and seemed to be equal in every way it was decided to remove the outer one.

The surgery was successful but he needed physical therapy to strengthen the remaining thumb. Metal braces to try to encourage the thumb to grow straight were made.

The knuckle of the remaining thumb bent from side to side rather than from back to front. Another surgery when he was 4 was to straighten the thumb and restructure the knuckle so it would bend properly.

After the surgery his hand and arm were in a cast up to the middle of his upper arm for about 6 weeks. He made good use of that cast. Whenever someone tried to disagree with him he conked them in the head with it.

When it finally came off the smell was unbearable. And all that dead skin. Then when the doctor slid out the two metal pins that had been inserted in my son's hand and arm to hold everything in place, my son started to scream. And scream, and scream. It was not from pain but how would you like to see six inch metal rods coming from inside your arms?

The operation was a success. My son's thumb is normal sized. Many people in his position have a remaining thumb that is still the size it was when they were babies. He cannot grip with it because the knuckle does not lock into place... it just keeps bending. One interesting thing is that when they do surgeries to reconstruct a thumb, they come out with a digit that resembles a finger more than a thumb.

We lived in a small town. We owned an old pickup truck that I drove the places we wanted to go. I would get the two older boys in the truck then place a baby on the lap of each one. My oldest son usually sat nearest to the door and held his baby sister.

One day as I was turning the corner, the door flew open. My son felt himself falling out. He managed to throw his little sister to his brother before he fell. He was up and running before I could stop the truck. There were no injuries except for a scrape from the gravel on his upper lip. He insisted on wearing a bandaid over that scrape for days.

Son number one had to have his tonsils removed when he was 5. They would not let me spend the night at the hospital with him so I promised I would be there bright and early before he went to surgery. I went to the hospital earlier than expected but they had taken him to surgery even earlier.

When my son came out of surgery he was still asleep. But when he woke up he began to scream. I told you he was a screamer. Finally the nurse came in and gave him a sedative to put him back to sleep in hopes that he would calm down. All that screaming could cause hemorrhaging. The sedative worked.

Son number two was interesting in the injuries he chose. He was the one who would open a drawer of the desk, then when he went to close it he would shut his fingers in it. Then he would pull the drawer open and shut his fingers in it again.

One time I was sitting in my chair mending some clothes. My son was still in diapers. He was sitting across the room from me facing the wall. I watched in amusement as he would reach his little arm straight in front of him then pull it quickly back and do a little shimmy. After he did this about 6 times (I am not real quick) I got up to see what kind of game he was playing.

That was when I saw the nail sticking out of the electrical outlet. He was reaching for it again. I stopped him. He was trying to get the nail out after he had stuck it in there and getting a little jolt when he would touch it. No emergency room required.

I do not know what possessed him to pull a can lid out of the trash but he did. He was playing with it and cut his thumb. It was a deep gash so off we went to the emergency room. Several stitches later we went home.

When the stitches came out the edges of the wound were still a little ugly. He insisted on wrapping a tissue around his thumb because he was afraid it was going to bleed again. The assistant pricipal at school sent him home and said he could not come back until I sent a note from the doctor stating that it was healed.

Somehow a wooden toothpick was embedded in the carpet. My son was crawling around playing and managed to get the toothpick up under his knee cap. Off we went to the emergency room. It was a relatively simple procedure to remove it. My son felt no further effects from it.

The most frightening injury happened to him when he was an adult. He was watching television when two men broke into his house to rob him. When he protested they shot him. One shot into each leg. Because he did not want to scare me he called his sister who called me.

They were releasing him from the hospital and he needed a ride home. There was nothing they could do for him except tell him to try to stay off his feet until his legs healed. They were unable to remove the bullets so he still has a bullet in each of his legs.

My third son broke things. The kids were climbing a tree and he lost his footing and fell. Luckily his foot got caught on a branch so he did not fall all the way to the ground but his arm hit against the tree. To the emergency room we went. His arm was broken.

The day the cast came off his arm was a sunny day. When we returned from the doctor my son was riding his bike. It had no brakes so the kids stopped it by using their foot as a brake. My son put down his foot to stop and let out a scream. His foot was broken.

He waited a while before the next break. I do not even remember how he did it. But I recognized the scream. We went strainght to the emergency room. His bone was not actually broken. Young childrens' bones are still fairly soft. When he landed he wrinkled the bone in his arm. The doctor had to stretch his arm out to pull out the wrinkle before they put a cast on it.

Another time he broke his leg again. And again I do not even remember how. But I do remember the time he and his brother were fighting. My son went running up the stairs to try to escape from his bigger brother. He lost his footing and fell against the stairs. He hit his hand on the edge of the step and broke it.

This child had the nerve to ask me if he could try out for the football team in high school. I told him, "Absolutely not! You break to easily."

The only accident he had that did not involve broken bones was the time he took a hatchet to a can of WD40. The contents of the can exploded into his eyes. I grabbed a gallon jug of water and flipped him upside down to flush as much as I could from his eyes before rushing him to the emergency room. Luckily no permanent damage was done. Although he says now that he believes that incident is the reason he is color blind.

My darling daughter. Sugar and spice and everything nice. A beautiful bit of fluff. So soft and feminine. Well... not quite.

When she was about 2 we were loading the pickup to go to the store. Her brother, my second son, was her lap that day. He closed the door and she immediately screamed. He had closed it on her fingers. He looked puzzled so I tried to stay calm and said in a very quiet even voice, "Open the door. Open the door. Open the door." It finally sunk in and her released her little fingers.

Instead of the store we went to the emergency room. Amazingly no bones were broken but her little hand was bruised. Her brother felt awful.

One rare day the kids got a visit from their father. When the visit was over he was driving away. My daughter had on her roller skates and decided to race him. She was on the sidewalk and only slightly behind. He went around the corner. She hit a rock and flipped head over heels.

When she got up she had a gash on her chin. She got several stitches to close it. They did a good job. She barely has a scar.

Most of her injuries happened as she got older. As a manager of a pizza place she had to know how to perform every job in the place. As an industrious worker she did every job in the place. She was constantly cutting her fingers. Several times she needed stitches.

Once she got a small piece of metal in her eye somehow. I took her to the emergency room and they used a magnet to remove it.

She always complained about her weird feet. She said they were deformed. Actually they were bunionettes. She had surgery on the first one. It was an outpatient procedure and I took her home as soon as she was alert enough to go.

She was still on crutches when she was allowed to go back to work. She was being siily and slipped and fell. There were wires in her foot that needed to be fixed. Being cautious is not her long suit.

At the hospital the nurses once told me they were going to reserve one of the treatment rooms just for my children. We laughed of course.

I have never really concerned myself with what other people think. I did start to think about all the times my children had been in that little room. All I could do was hope the medical personnel realized that these were all freak accidents. I certainly did not want them to call someone to investigate.

So now my children are grown. If they need medical treatment they have others to tend to them. If my grandchildren need emergency care, my children do it. I am happy to assist and occasionally I have but I do not miss the days of the emergency room.

My Third Son

My husband and I talked about having another baby... someday. Our two boys kept us busy. My husband was a truck driver, a job he really liked, and money was a little more plentiful. But we had just bought a house and there were some medical bills we were taking care of. So... someday... in the future...

Then one morning I woke up thinking; "Wouldn't it be nice to have another baby?" Our someday baby was about to be a reality.

I was miserable during the pregnancy. No morning sickness. I never had morning sickness with any of my children. But I was retaining fluid and I was huge and miserable. My doctor prescribed something and did no good.

The state fair was here amd I wanted to take my boys. There was a television cartoon program that had singing characters and they were appearing. I also took my little brother and sister. Not only could they have a good time but they could help me with my boys.

We had a good time. However all that walking made me swell even more.

Then my husband took a new job. It was a good opportunity for him. We would have to move to another state. But my doctor said I could not travel at that time.

So we unloaded our house and the boys and I went to stay with my parents. I slept in a room upstairs. In the morning I would get up and waddle down to a chair where I would stay until it was time to waddle back up to bed. I was miserable.

My ankles were as big around as a 3 pound coffee can lid. One night I was showing everybody how swollen they were. You know how miserable people like to share. I could depress the skin of my ankle as far as the second knuckle on my finger. It was rather a novel thing and it did not hurt at all. I did it time and time again.

The next morning I woke up and my ankles were sore. They were covered with bruises from me being stupid the night before.

Then came the day I began to feel contractions. They were irregular so I went about my business of sitting in my chair being swollen. All day the contractions continued. Mom wanted to know if we should make plans to go to the hospital.

I was not sure it was actual labor so I told her we would wait. That evening while we were watching television the contractions seemed stronger. The only problem was that they were still irregular. Mom began to time them.

Between contractions could be 6 minutes then 1 minute then 12 minutes and so on. The duration could be 20 seconds then 90 seconds then 50 seconds and so on. Mom decided I was going to the hospital whether I liked it or not.

My brother drove. The whole way I was protesting that I was not sure it was labor. I would be so embarrassed if they sent me home. It was my third baby and I was not sure if I was in labor.

At the hospital they took me to the maternity ward. Mom stayed to fill out the necessary paperwork.

The resident doctor told me that my doctor was on his way. In the meantime he seemed quite amused that the contractions were not behaving the way they should. He chuckled and said he would like to see one of those 90 second contractions.

So he and the nurses were bustling around, doing the things they needed to have ready when my doctor arrived. Then a nurse looked over and said, "Doctor, the baby is here." And there was a baby lying on the table.

I had another son. He looked like his oldest brother except that he was pretty from the beginning. He was 22 and 1/2 inches long. And he was lavender.The umbilical cord had wrapped around his neck. It was not tight enough to be a real danger but it had cut off enough oxygen to make him that lavender color.

My mother had finished the paperwork and went to the father's waiting room. She had just sat dowm when a nurse popped her head in and asked if someone was here with Emma. Mom said she was. The nurse told her she could come back to see me.

Mom was a little surprised because at that time they did not even let the father into the labor room.

As they passed the nursery the nurse asked Mom if she wanted to see the baby. Mom explained to her that she had the wrong person. Mom's daughter was not even sure she was in labor and there had not been enough time for a baby to be born.

The nurse repeated my name to her. Mom told her that was my name. They went to the nursery window so Mom could look at her newest grandson.

Like all of my babies he was born with dark hair and blue eyes. The first time the nurses brought him in for me to feed him I noticed a yellowish spot in one of his blue eyes. Cute. Each time they brought him in it was a bit larger. And I could actually see that his hair was lighter in color. By the time we went home my son had blonde hair and green eyes.

By this time my brothers and sisters had begun having babies too. So my son went home to two brothers and a girl cousin and a boy cousin. We have some great pictures of the five of them together.

Mom had just gotten herself a new blender. She was enjoying it and making milkshakes every night. That meant we enjoyed it too. Everyone had a milkshake but my baby. I took a spoon and gave him a tiny taste. He loved it. As a bonus he slept through the night. He got a little taste every night from then on.

As soon as the doctor deemed it safe for us to travel my sons and I moved to the state where their father was working. We knew absolutely no one there but we had our little family and were happy.

I kept a small cup of ice cream in the freezer for my son. A little taste before bed and I got a good night's sleep. One night I went to the freezer and there was no ice cream.

We were used to living in a big city that operates 24 hours each day. In this little tiny town even the Dairy Queen closed early. There was absolutely no place to get any ice cream. My son would sleep and then wake up again. He knew he needed his ice cream before a full night of sleep. We had a rough night.

Needless to say I made sure there was ice cream in the freezer after that. Even today he likes to have a taste of ice cream late in the evening.

My son was obsessed. He had seen advertisements for a movie coming to television.  It was called "How To Pick Up Girls". He told us every day that we were going to watch it. When it finally came on we obliged him. He watched with hypnotic attention. It was a light comedy about nothing in particular. When it was over he looked up plaintively and asked, "What if I still don't know how?" I assured him that when the time was right he would know. "But what if I don't?"

When he was in kindergarten I went to the school for the last parent-teacher conference of the year. His teacher had glowing reports for him. She told me that she would be sitting at her desk and catch a glimpse of him from the corner of her eye and think, "What a beautiful child."

She then asked if he could attend summer classes because she was going to miss him. I told her I would ask him if he wanted to. He did.

Never send your children to summer school unless it is absolutely necessary. His classes cut into every schedule we had. The days I had looked forward to of being able to stay in bed a few minutes longer were gone. In the middle of the day I had to drop everything to go pick him up. He liked it but I hated it.

One day in early spring that year my son was at school. It was a stormy day. I was running a little late so he started to walk home. We only lived a few blocks from the school but there was a major street for him to cross that worried me.

The wind was blowing so hard. Leaves and small branches were flying around. I got to the corner of that busy street and there was my son. The poor thing was holding on to the light pole for dear life. He was happy to be rescued and I felt like the worst mother in the world.

My mother loved to take pictures of the kids when they were dirty. One day my son and his sister were at the junk yard with their father. They came home covered in grease. Mom was in photographer's heaven. It was only one of many "dirty" pictures. My son still wonders if they were ever clean. I try to assure him they were given the occasional bath.

My brother and my sister each had a son my son's age. They were the best of friends. They were constantly together. I called them the three stooges. At one time the song "The Curly Shuffle" was popular. Those three actually had a whole Three Stooges routine that they did. And all of them could do the Curly Shuffle.

My son was middle in age of the three. But he tended to tell the others what they were going to do. My children are not followers. It caused some friction in the family.

One year we gathered at my parent's house for the yearly Christmas celebration. Everyone was having a good time opening presents and eating goodies. My oldest nephew's step-father began to nudge him. We all noticed it but had no idea what was going on.

My nephew apparently did not do whatever it was that he was being urged to do. He was supposed to fight with my son and beat him up. The boys were friends and my nephew did not want to do it. His step-father took him to the bathroom and began to spank him. My husband and I gathered our children and went home. On the way out I told my sister she needed to protect her son.

The boys often spent weekends at one house or another. Often it was my house because I had the most children. I do not mind the noise of children because that has been a constant in my life.

When my youngest sister had her first son I fell in love with him. He spent time at my house as soon as he was big enough for my sister to be willing to let him come. My son hated him. "Does he always have to be here?!" Now that they are grown they are good friends.

My oldest sister and her son moved to another state. He did not make friends easily and was lonely. When she asked him what he wanted for his birthday he wanted for my son to come visit. So my son received a plane ticket to Florida to spend the summer with his cousin. They had a great time.

During that time my other children and I moved to a different house. When my son came home he laughed and said that we had moved and not told him where we were.

He kept growing older as children are wont to do. And he discovered girls. They discovered him back. He had one girlfriend after another. I had be vigilant because some of their mothers would get a gleam in their eyes when my son would come around.

Then he met a nice young girl. They fell in love and immediately became engaged. When they prepared to go buy the rings my son told me that he thought they would wait at least a year to get married. I told him they would have to because he was only 17.

Soul mate is a term that is thrown about these days. I have never known soul mates and that includes my parents who loved each other and had a long happy marriage. My son and his wife are the only soul mates I have ever met. They wanted the same things from life and used the same means to get them.

They have two children, a boy and a girl. My son and daughter-in-law wanted them to have all the things the did not have when they were children. They have pretty much succeeded. But the children are not "spoiled" and are well liked. They are both successful.

My granddaughter has a little girl of her own, making me a great-grandma. My grandson is recently married and they are expecting a little girl of their own. And the family keeps growing and getting better.

Having Babies

I was overjoyed when I found out I was going to be a mother for the first time. I had 6 little brothers and sisters. As is common in large families I helped a lot with the little ones. So I felt more than ready.

My family did not live in the same state then so I could not go to my mother with questions. I sat and listened to all the women I knew talking about the horrors of labor. I was not overly concerned because I have always had the ability to live in the moment so until it happened it had nothing to do with me.

My husband made his own preparations for getting me to the hospital when the time came. He took the experience as a good excuse to be able to run through red lights and stop signs. It would be a great adventure.

In the meantime I gained forty pounds. A lot of it was fluid because I retain fluid naturally anyway.  Soon I began feeling little butterfly ripples in my abdomen. My baby was kicking! Every mother knows that your love for your baby begins long before it it born. I do not know how it is for a father but I was totally enchanted.

My baby was due before Mother's Day. As Mother's Day got closer and closer I hoped that I would not spend my first Mother's Day in the hospital. I was not in the hospital for Mother's Day. I still had not had my baby.

In bed and sound asleep during the night after Mother's Day I woke up suddenly. My water broke. Because I slept next to the wall I had to try to get my husband who slept like a dead man to let me up. I tried to tell him what was happening.

While I was in the bathroom getting dressed he came running in demanding to know why I had wet the bed! At least he was awake.

I again explained what was happening. He ran upstairs to the apartment of a friend and woke her up. She came down to offer help. She asked if I was in labor. I did not know. Nothing hurt. But I was feeling occasional bouts of what felt like the baby strongly kicking.

She times those. They happened about 6 minutes apart. I needed to go to the hospital.

That is when my husband became sick. He went to the medicine cabinet and poured every compound he could find into his stomach to try to settle it.

Then we set off for the hospital. Would you believe it? Every traffic light was green. My poor husband did not even get the pleasure of running even one red light.

I never did experience labor pains with my first baby. I kept waiting for it to hurt.

I was placed in a room with a woman whose baby was dead. They wanted her to experience normal delivery if possible because they thought it would be better for her physical recovery.

She was in terrible pain and knew she was not going to have a baby to hold after. She became hysterical. Remembering all those stories I heard earlier I waited for that to happen to me.

The doctor came in, did a quick examination, and said, "Okay. Let's go have a baby." I never did feel any pain.

My second baby was a different experience. I woke up almost exactly at the same time the alarm clock went off. It was time for my husband to go to work. But today he would be taking me to the hospital.

Once again things progressed quickly. And I was definitely feeling some discomfort. We dropped my oldest son off to be with my mother.

My doctor cme into the labor room and gave me a quick exam. Then he said that he was going to the cafeteria for a quick cup of coffee. As he started out the door I told him the baby was coming. He told me that it would take twenty minutes for the anesthetic to take effect and he would be back then.

Well he should have listened to me. The intern was getting into his scrubs. I said the baby is here. He turned and managed to grab my son just before he landed on the table.

My husband had taken a new job out of town. Naturally he was not there when labor began for my third baby. I was experiencing contractions but they were extremely erratic. It would be twenty minutes until the next one. Then the next one would be in four minutes. Then ten minutes. Then fifteen minutes. Then three minutes. They might last ninety seconds ot five seconds. There was no regularity at all.

Mom had my brother drive us to the hospital. The whole way I kept telling her that I was not sure I was in labor. I was going to be so embarrassed if they sent me home. This was my third baby for goodness sake. I did not even know if I was in labor.

They took me upstairs. Mom stayed to fill out those papers that need to be filled out and then went to the father's waiting room. A nurse popped her head in the door and asked if anyone was there with Emma. Mom got up.

She was told she could come see me. On the way they passed the nursery. The nurse asked my mother if she would like to see the baby.

Mom explained to her that she must have the wrong person. I had just come in after all. The nurse repeated my name. Mom said yes, that was right. The nurse showed my mother her new grandson.

When my fourth child was born I was staying with my parents again. As quickly as my babies seemed to be born we were worried that I might not make it 30 miles to hospital where we lived.

I went into labor and my mother drove me to the hospital. I went in to be examined. The long and short of it was that it was a false labor. I prepared to dress and go home.

The doctor went out to tell my mother it would be probably another ten days before my baby was born. She looked at him and said, "Oh no you don't. I know how she does this. I'll get her halfway home and she'll have that baby in the car."

He told her she could have me walk the halls for a bit to see if that would do anything. After a couple of hours Mom finally gave up and took me home. My daughter was born ten days later.

As you can see each experience was different. How can that be? I am the same person. It comes down to the babies. Just as they are unique individuals now, they were unique then too. Each came in his/her own time and own way.

On Being A Mother

The one thing I always wanted to be is a mother. Other occupations were considered too. I was going to be a famous singer but I cannot sing. I was going to be a renowned actress. I can act a bit but a career like that depends largely on being in the right place at the right time. I am not lucky. I was going to be so many other professions. It depended on the time of my life and my mood at the time. But I always wanted my own children.

I did not think about being a wife except for the fact that in those days you had to be married in order to have children. I do not think it was possible to have them if you were unmarried, was it? At any rate as I look back I know I was not a good wife. I am a terrific companion but as far as being "wifely", I lack considerably.

But in order to have children the husband was a must. I was engaged for a time to a young man my father introduced me to. It was like a first love kind of thing. Again looking back I know that a marriage between us would not have worked.

I married a young man (actually we were both children... I was 18 and he was 17) who was a hard worker. We loved each other. He had little experience around children even though he came from a large family. He was one of the little ones. But I was ready to start a family.

It was two years before I had my first son. I was in heaven. He was born right after Mother's Day. My husband dug right in and was the best father he knew how to be. He took our baby with him if he went visiting and was so proud to show him off. The one thing he did not want to try was changing diapers.

After another two years I had another son. He was beautiful. We decided that we would have another child... someday. My husband wanted a daughter. But for the time being we had all we could afford.

We talked about having that "someday child" often. Meanwhile I was so enjoying my boys. We talked and played and did all those things I always had dreamed of.

When my second son was three I found out we were going to have that "someday child". I was thrilled. One of the ways that I knew I was going to have a baby is that I would wake up one morning and think, "wouldn't it be nice to have another baby?" It happened every time.

But it was a difficult pregnancy. My husband had taken a new job out of town. I was unable to travel. I could not take proper care of the two I already had. We sold our house and I went to stay with my parents. The boys loved it there.

That was the year my third son was born. Because I had such a hard time taking care of my boys I decided that I was done having children.

I wanted to have surgery to prevent me from having more babies. At that time in our state my husband had to give "permission". How archaic is that? He was not willing to do that so I used other means to prevent pregnancy.

We moved to another state as soon as the baby and I were able to travel. Because my husband was a truck driver and on the road a lot I had all three of my boys to myself.

We explored our new surroundings together. My oldest son had just started school. We stayed up late and watched scary movies on television. It was wonderful.

But I was barely home from the hospital after having son number three when I discovered that I was probably going to have another baby. When my husband came home after a week on the road I told him he would need to stay up with the boys while I went to the doctor for confirmation.

So scarcely a year later my beautiful daughter was born. My husband took the children and me back to stay with my parents while I was pregnant. I was not having problems. But the nearest place to have a baby where we were living was 30 miles away. It did not take me very long to have a baby once they finally decided it was time to be born. I would probably not make it to the hospital.

That completed our family. I convinced my husband that it would be best for me to have that surgery. He reluctantly agreed. He was on the road when our daughter was born. He headed back when he was told she was here but he did not make it in time to sign for the surgery.

The nurse that was waiting for a signature wanted to know if I was absolutely certain my husband would sign. Of course I was.

I was the first female to sign for that surgery in that state. They needed a signature of permission. My signature would do until my husband could do it legally. By the time he arrived the surgery was over. His signature would have been senseless.

I managed a rock and roll band at one time. They played 50's and 60's music. The leader of the band was announcing their next song. He said; "You know, I was 19 and in Korea when this song was popular. Do you remember what you were doing at 19?" I spoke up that I was having a baby.

Then he said, "For that matter how many of you remember what you were doing at 21?" My reply was that I was having a baby.

He got a determined look on his face and said, "Do you remember what you were doing when you were 25?" Again, "I was having a baby." He gave up but I had another baby at 26.

"They" always say that your life has been a success if you have lived your dreams.  I am a success 4 times over because my children have been everything I wanted and more.