Tuesday, February 6, 2018


Tim is the last of my husband's brothers. He is 3 years younger than my husband.

When Tim was born it was in a Catholic hospital. Tim had red hair from the very beginning. The nuns who were also nurses kept telling Mom that his hair was the same color as Father Timothy's hair.

When Father Timothy came to visit the rooms Mom saw that they did have the same carrotty colored hair. So the baby was named Timothy.

I first met Tim when he was in his early teens. He would sometimes come along with his brother when we would all "hang out".

Hanging out meant that groups of cars would basically drive around what we called "The Loop". The Loop consisted of one-way streets that allowed us to just drive through downtown. Saturday nights were the nights we did that.

Tim was well over 6 feet tall. And so thin.

Tim was the only child left at home. As with most teenagers he felt like he had all the pressures on him. To be truthful he did have a heavy load.

Even though the farm was not suitable for raising crops there was always a big garden. Mom did a lot of the work and so did Tim. He helped Dad tend to what livestock they had. Tim also brought in plenty of wood for heating and cooking.

Finally Tim grew up completely. By that time we were living in the big city as were the family of the next older brother. He decided to join us.

My mother-in-law called and was frantic. She heard that he was bringing my sister-in-laws sister with him and was planning on marrying her.

Somehow Mom managed to stop that from happening. But Tim came and we were happy to see him.

He found a job and worked hard every day. In the evening he would come spend time with my husband and me. Then he would drive to my brother-in-law's house where he slept.

What we did not know was that the police were stopping him most nights. Because his vehicle broke down soon after he arrived he often borrowed a car. Sometimes he had one of ours or one from his other brother's household. The police were always checking to see that what he was driving was legal... at least in the beginning.

He also did not mention that at times the the police were a little rough with him.

Then came the day when he came by our house early. He was covered in bruises; head to toe. I thought he had been in a car accident.

It was no accident. The police had stopped the previous night on his way to go to bed. They were angry with him because he was late. They had stopped a couple of other red-headed young men while they were waiting for him. It seems they identified him by that hair.

Anyway they were mad because he took up too much of their valuable time and they worked him over good. I tried to get him to go to the hospital but he refused. He also would not file a report because he did not want worse the next time.

For a time he dated a girl that lived down the street from us. Then he began to see a girl who had lived next door to us when we lived in an apartment building.

Kathy lived with her father and brother. Her mother had died when she was very small. For a time her father had a girl-friend who moved in with her daughter but eventually they moved out.

Tim went to California and Kathy went with him. They were married in Mexico. When Tim was drafted the Army did not recognize the marriage.

Tim decided to bring Kathy back to the big city while he was in basic training. They were welcome at our house. By now Kathy was pregnant with their first child.

In order for her to get her spousal allotment from the Army they were married again. Her father and I were witnesses. I saw symptoms that her father would not be around much longer. He died of cirrhosis a few months later. Her brother died just last year.

Soon after the baby was born they moved to Florida.

Tim worked sandblasting and painting ships. It is hazardous work. The materials used for that are toxic. He now is struggling with mesothelioma. He is doing quite well considering.

They now live in Tennessee. Altogether they had 7 beautiful children. Now they have bunches of grandchildren.


  1. Wow he really has had a hard life. The police have a lot to answer for it sounds to me, why did they pick on him daily, for what reason. I hope he carries on doing well and thanks for sharing. Diane

    1. The police in that particular big city have been extremely corrupt for decades. They stopped him because they wanted to.

  2. I'm glad Tim and Kathy are still with us. There are so many interesting lives in this world.

    1. I am glad they are too. There are so few of us left.

  3. He has a hard life for a long time. As to the police: cruel.

  4. I don't understand why the police treated him so badly. Jerks.

    1. Jerks is a very kind term for the police in that city.

  5. Thank you for introducing us to Tim, Emma.While he had some rough times, it seems that his marriage and family survived and glad to read that all are doing well.

  6. i liked red haired Tim 's story !
    he seemed nice polite and gentleman through your sketch dear Emma!

    i hated the way police did abuse to him

    i am glad that he was able to marry girl he loved and now living with a huge beautiful family ,may he be blessed with perfect health amen

    1. You actually described Tim very well. How did you do that?

  7. You’re doing your ancestors a servyby documenting theses stories.

  8. I can't imagine what was going on with those cops and Tim. I should have imagined that if they stopped him every night, they would have come to see him as a real person and therefore have been less likely to beat him up.

    1. You have not spent a lot of time in this particular big city.

    2. "You have not spent a lot of time in this particular big city."

      Well, probably not, whatever you mean by that. It's also true that I have been treated very well by cops. I would even say that, as a youth, I was treated better than I deserved by being given fatherly warnings instead of tickets when I behaved outlandishly. This was in Mississippi, and I've since wondered how much differently I would have been treated had I been black. My consternation about your brother-in-law comes from the fact that he was not, in my memory, black. He simply had red hair.

    3. To the red hair comment I feel that any type of discrimination is wrong. The city I lived in was and still is extremely corrupt. I have deep respect for law enforcement officers who are honest and fair. My father was one.