Take This

I know you have been waiting for me to rant again. I am happy to oblige.

My beef today is about commercials for drugs on television. I understand that the drug companies are in business to make money. It is the American way. But why on earth are they advertising medications that I need to have prescribed by a doctor?

When I go to the doctor I expect him to know what medications are needed for my condition. Pretend I am not feeling well and I see the doctor and tell him that these are my symptoms and this is the medicine I wish to have him prescribe. If he says fine and writes out the script I think I need to find another doctor.

The commercials for these drugs make them sound like they will cure all ills. Until the end of the commercial. That is when the announcer begins to list the side effects. Do not drive or operate heavy equipment. Dizziness, nausea, constipation, diarrhea, joint pain, and muscle cramping. Depression, anxiety, suicidal urges. Hair loss, weight gain, weight loss, water retention.

Shortness of breath, rapid heart beat, rise in blood pressure, nose bleeds. Watery eyes, runny nose, dry mouth. May cause seizures, kidney failure, DEATH. I think you get the idea.

I have seen commercials for drugs to combat depression and the side effects include depression and suicidal tendencies. What!?! Then there are those that tell you they are absolutely safe to take so you can work then say to be careful because they may cause drowsiness.

You may wonder why the announcer lists all the things that could go wrong if a person takes a particular drug. They are required by law to do so. Another reason to have a doctor advise you about what medications you should take.

A competent doctor can also monitor what medications you are taking and how they will interact with any new prescriptions. The doctor will also explain what to expect from the new drug, what it will do, and any good effects or bad effects to watch for.

I am sick of hearing about bodily functions. Some things are not subjects for polite conversation. I do not wish to hear about whether your sexual equipment is working. I do not wish to know if you are constipated or suffering from diarrhea. I do not wish to know about your cold or flu.

I do not wish to know about your hemorrhoids. I do not wish to know about your period or PMS. I do not wish to know about your toenail fungus. I do not wish to know about your vaginal infection. I do not wish to know about your clogged tear ducts.

I know that people have these problems. I sympathize. I really do. They are not things to be ashamed of. I just feel that they are not my business.

My final gripe is my newest. I recently noticed that the commercials are giving "cutesy" names to chronic diseases. Sudden;y hepatitis C has become "HepC". Sounds like such a fun disease.

To promote their drug the may have a person with a sexy voice inform you that your Chronic Blue Tongue Fungus is known as CBTF. I feel like they are trying to let you know that you have joined a country club. Your CBTF is not a life-threatening disease but a "really cool" condition. Everybody wants one.

Of course if you have CBTF you want to have the most "in" drug to treat it. Then you will have the best social life, the most loving family, and the most successful job. CBTF is such a good condition to have.

They are not allowed to advertise tobacco products these days. Liquor commercials are supposed to be limited to times that children are not watching television. Please tell me why they are allowed to air the drug commercials.

Ray Stevens has a cute song called "There Must Be A Pill For This". If you click on the link you can hear it.