Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Out With The Girls

Friends are so important in life. I have been fortunate to have both male and female friends. But I must say that my female friends have been more in tune with my feelings and moods. My girl friends and I have had some interesting adventures together.

My daughter was in a dance class. The mothers stayed there while they rehearsed and learned their dances. A couple of my best friends also had daughters in the class. They met once a week.

We decided to go out after dance class just to relax and have some fun. We would meet after dropping our girls off at home and pick a place to go. It became a popular weekly activity and several mothers joined us.

We went to a bar one week. It was probably a poor choice of place to go because it was a rather seedy bar but there is safety in numbers after all. There was a live band so we could dance and have a couple of drinks before going home.

My husband and I had only been separated for a few months so I was not interested in making any attachments with any men. Us women usually just danced together.

So we were in this bar. A huge bear of a man who had been "happy" for quite a while announced that he was celebrating the birth of his daughter that day. He bought pitchers of some concoction and had trays full of shot glasses. He just took the pitcher and poured in a circular motion until the shot glasses were filled and passed them out to people in the bar until they were gone and he would start all over.

It was great fun and the shots were good. I did wonder why he was at the bar and not at the hospital with his wife.

Soon he came over to ask my very beautiful friend to dance. She informed him that she would not dance with him but her friend would and pointed to me!

I was unprepared and could not find a graceful way to tell him I did not want to dance with him. So as I rose to dance the whole table of women (who used to be my friends!) tittered.

This gigantic man's idea of dancing was crude. It did not help that he was very drunk. Now I am not a small person but he tossed me around the dance floor like a rag doll. And the whole table of my friends were laughing the whole time.

I escaped uninjured and learned to decline the invitations I wished to decline. I needed to because my friend did it to everyone and then laughed. She can be an evil woman.

We were at a bar that served breakfast after they could no longer serve drinks. It was a great idea and they always had a good crowd. Plus we could keep dancing if we wished to do so.

Now my beautiful friend was a bald man magnet for some reason. She was actually a man magnet but bald men really loved her. A short little bald man dressed all in leather from head to toe and thinking he looked very "hip" sauntered over to our table with his best moves.

He sat down uninvited next to my friend. She decided to have some fun with him. She had a mean streak in her that beautiful women sometimes have. She teased him along as the rest of us tried not to laugh. He was in heaven thinking he was going to "score".

Eventually she grew tired of playing so she told him to go away. He stayed. Finally she suggested that the two of us go play Frogger thinking he would leave while we were gone. Not so. He was waiting with a goofy smile on his face when we got back.

She was still trying to figure out how to get rid of him when the photographer came to the table. Would we mind if she took our picture for a local entertainment magazine? We were happy to oblige.

The photographer began to pose us by moving our chairs closer together. I noticed the little bald man standing in the shadows off to the side. I grinned and invited him into the picture. He demurred. I insisted.

Suddenly he said, "Uhh, I have to go now." He practically ran from the place. I realized when he was standing in the shadows that the reason was that he was married. He certainly would not want his picture in the magazine with a couple of women.

Getting carded is when the waitress or doorman asks to see you identification to make sure you are old enough to be in the establishment. I took my sister to the bar where my band was playing. I had the night off so I could just enjoy myself.

When we seated ourselves the waitress asked to see my sister's ID. I pretended to be indignant. "I have been coming here for months and you never carded me!"

The waitress who I knew quite well said, "Okay. Let me see your ID." I handed it to her. She said "Oh my God! You're almost as old as my mother!" I never did that again.

Across the border in Canada they had male strippers. A group of us decided to go over there one night. We made arrangements ahead of time. We even rented a limousine with each of us paying her fair share.

We met for dinner at the house of one woman. She made a fabulous kielbasa soup with lots of fresh garden vegetables. When the limo came we were ready to go. There was champagne provided by the limo company.

After going through customs at the border we went straight to the strip club. I had never seen anything like that. Men were marching around without a stitch of clothing.

The limo driver was not allowed in the club. It was for women only. But he did tell us that his company had a deal with the club to get choice seats for us. So he got our tickets.

We were right up beside the stage. Our tickets had numbers on them. If the number was called during the breaks between shows we would win a free table dance.A table dance cost $10.00 if you paid for it.

My friend had brought a"peter meter" with her as a joke. We had a good laugh over it. Then she won a table dance.

We were in the middle of a deep discussion about something when her dancer came over. He began to gyrate but my friend was busy with our conversation. Finally the stripper tapped her on the shoulder and informed her that he was dancing for her.

She immediately stood, grabbed her "peter meter" and said, "Do you see this? (She chose a very long measurement) When you can match this come back and see me. Right now I 'm in the middle of something important." He finished his little dance and left.

I had men working for me at the junk yard. They were all friends of mine and often we would stop for a drink after payday. Their wives knew I was no threat so there were no problems about that. By the same token the wives and I would often go out for an evening. The men knew I was not man hunting so they did not worry about me corrupting their wives... usually.

I took the wife of one of the guys with me to hear my band. She refused to learn to dance so she was not in huge demand as a person to spend time with. She was, to be extremely kind, a boring person. Even so she was a friend and deserved a night out so she could have fun without her husband.

We went in my car. I had been having a little trouble with it stalling but it always started again if I let it set for a few minutes. (The catalytic converter was overheating but I did not know it at the time.)

We started for home at the end of the night. The car was really acting up that night. We would drive a few blocks and the car would stall. It took a little longer to restart each time and it would stall again in less time. We did not get home until almost 4:00 AM. Her husband was beside himself.

I tried to explain the next day what had happened but he was having none of it. Being a bit of a player himself he was only too happy to think the worst of his wife. We never went out together again unless it was a group setting and her husband was there. Pity.

One of the women heard of a night club in a different state (but close to us) that had three different bands for dancing on any given night. That was our kind of place. We made arrangements to go on a Thursday night.

After a quick meal we set off. We walked into a totally dead night club. They only had the bands on Fridays and Saturdays. What a disappointment.

But we did not need a band to have fun. We played the jukebox and danced. The bartenders were fun-loving fellows.When we decided to climb up on the bar to dance they cheered us on.

It was still a fun evening. The few patrons of the nightclub seemed to be amused at us beiing silly.

Another time we walked into a bar that was supposed to have a good band. It was packed but no one was dancing. How boring.

Of course we were ready to dance and headed for the dance floor. It has been my experience that most people do not want to be the first ones to dance. Once someone else does they will jump up and go for it. That is exactly what happened.

We had a good time even though the place was a little over crowded for my taste. Before the night was over every member of the band had come over to say hi to us. The drummer even begged us to come back the next night.

We were all sitting quietly and recovering from dancing one night. The band was on a break. Over sauntered a truck driver with an enormous belt buckle. Guess who he was wanting to get know? That's right. My beautiful friend.

He introduced himself as somebody-or-other with the last name of Twitty. He claimed to be Conway Twitty's brother. Well of course Conway Twitty's real name was not Twitty.

He tried to impress us by buying a round or three of drinks. He did dance well so he was good for something. He was another disappointed man who was left behind by my friend.

One night we had no plans. We decided to just cruise and see if we could find something to do.

You know how a car full of men can harass a lone woman in another car? Well that night we ran across a man alone in his car. We rolled down our windows and started with cat calls and whistles.

That poor man white knuckled his steering wheel. He kept looking over at us nervously and tried to drive a little faster. When we tired of it we turned off and I saw a wave of relief wash over him.

At the time I thought it was funny. Looking back I feel sorry for that poor man. We might have been lunatics.

We of course were listening to music. We stopped at a red light and a great song for dancing came on. We all jumped out of the car and began to dance. There we were in the middle of a busy intersection having the times of our lives. Luckily no police came.

There were however a couple of very nice men who followed us to the diner where we were going to have breakfast.

They asked if they could sit with us and buy us breakfast. When they saw us hesitate they explained that they wanted nothing from us. All they wanted to do was enjoy our company while we all ate.

We agreed to sit with them and had a nice time. They got up after eating and paid the bill leaving a generous tip for the waitress. Then they went on their way. What nice men.

One night I was to meet my best friend at the bar where the band played. She said she would decide where we were going. The problem with my friend is that she has absolutely no sense of time. I used to tell her an event was an hour earlier than it actually was so we might not be too late getting there.

On this particular night she was more than 2 hours late. The owner of the bar came to me and asked if I would mind helping the waitresses. They were busier than usual and had fallen way behind. I had no other plans so I put on an apron and went to work.

About 45 minutes later my friend came in. I was still very busy waiting tables. She looked at me with a question mark. I looked back and shrugged. I was busy.

We are the friends who roll with the punches so she just sat down to wait for me. Of course the men were all anxious to buy her drinks. I introduced her to a friend of mine so she would not have to sit alone. He is a nice guy.

They decided to drink shots of tequila. My friend had not drunk tequila before and did not know enough to pace herself. She got soooooo drunk.

My friend lives way out in the country. I cannot find her house in the daytime. Now I had to drive her home in the middle of the night.

In the beginning she gave me good directions. Then she was falling asleep. I woke her up once and told her I did not know where to turn. She gave vague directions but we were on our way.

When I drove up to an intersection of roads in the country with cornfields all around me I had no idea where I was. I tried to wake her up.

Finally I said, "You have to wake up. I don't know where we are."

She managed to rouse herself and I repeated that I was lost. She said for me to drive forward a bit.I did.

Then she suddenly sat up straight with a panicked look on her face leaving me to think, "Oh my God. I have been taking directions from a drunk!"

She told me to turn left. I did. There was her house. Relief.

I took her in and made sure she could get to bed safely. Since we had her car she told me to stay and sleep in her daughter's room. (Her daughter was at her aunt's house.)

Now I have mentioned throughout this piece how beautiful this woman is. She even has beautiful feet. Not fair but there it is. Well when she got up the next morning she was so ugly.

There is nothing like a hangover from tequila. She was sick and had a terrible headache. And she had to go to work.

I teased her all the way to town about how ugly she was. She was ugly all day and I kept reminding her. That is what friends are for after all.

These are but a few examples of good times with my friends. I did not mention the quiet times we would just sit and talk and commiserate. We saw each other through so many bad times and good times. Those were the times we really needed each other.

When we went out it was never for the purpose of hooking up with a man. We wanted to enjoy being friends. And some of the group were married.

I have moved far away but we all stay in touch. Their lives have changed over the years too. But we still love and support each other. That's what friends are for.

Keep your friends of the same sex. They are the ones who will understand (or at least sympathize) with what you are experiencing. You need them and they need you.


  1. How true that we should always keep our friends. My closest friends,aside from my husband, are women who i have known for many decades. Even though we live in different states we can always pick up whenever we talk or see one another. That for me is the hallmark of a deep and true friendship. From this post, Emma, it seems you and your friends have lots of common memories shared.

    1. We do indeed. My very best friend and I are able to not see each other for long periods of time and yet pick right up as if we had seen seen each other yesterday. Plus we each know where all the bodies are buried.