Smile. It Makes Them Wonder

 I had a job that I really loved. The company I worked for was run by two brothers.

When I began to work there one of the brothers was not physically present. The one I worked with was a nice guy. I was treated so well; perhaps a bit better than others. I got used to it.

The other brother did not come in at all. He was in the midst of divorcing the woman in charge of the rest of us. We all got along with her. She became a friend.

Eventually she stopped working there. She had remarried and was able to stay home with her little girls. Her husband decided to work with us sometimes.

He fell in love with and married a friend of mine who also worked there. It was like a big happy family.

Then the original brother got sick. He could not run the business so the other brother took over. 

Soon I was not the ''golden child". I can live with that. It was still a great place to work.

Eventually I was given all the worst work situations. I was miserable. I thought about quitting. I hated just entering the building.

Then one day my brain kicked in. I loved my customers and the people I worked with. Why was I allowing someone else to make me feel so bad?

Each night before I reached the front door I pasted a big smile on my face. I was ready to enjoy my customers.

It took some time but eventually I really was happy going to work. It drove the people who had been working hard to make me unhappy crazy. I was even happier.

Always smile. You will feel better. Most people around you will feel happier. Those who wish to make you unhappy will be confused and eventually look for another target.

Just Like The Movies

Since I was raised in small towns and on farms I had little 'worldly' experience. My children often teased me about being so naive. 

For instance there were never any fights thar I was aware of in school. I did hear about two girls having a hair-pulling fight over a boy. I was a junior in high school. That is the only one.

So we moved to the big city after we married. We stayed with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law at first.

They had an apartment above a gay bar. I had heard whispers about gay people but never really believed them. I was fascinated. I watched from the window when they were outside. It was unreal to me.

Then we had our own apartment. The woman downstairs was so nice. She was a war bride from Germany. The man upstairs was not normal. He was an admirer of Nazis. He had recordings of Hitler's speeches that he played at the highest level of sound. 

He assumed the woman downstairs felt the same but she did not. One day he caught her and tried to kiss her. When she refused his advances and told him she would call the police he ran outside. He stood in the middle of the street until the police confronted him. We heard he was evaluated for mental problems. We never saw him again.

Our next apartment was across the street from a small hotel. I did know about street-walkers from television. The hotel was used by these women off and on all day. The women from our building would sit on the front steps to watch them. Often we would each choose one to see who took the most men into the hotel that day.

One of the prostitutes had the prettiest yellow dress with matching yellow handbag and shoes. I actually envied that outfit. I love yellow but it is a terrible color for me.

I taught art classes. One of my favorite classes was in a sewing school. I sold the necessary supplies to the women there. They were evening classes so it was dark when I was finished. Everyone knew that I had large amounts of money then.

The women from the classes took good care of me because I was too foolish to be afraid. They walked me to my car and waited until I was safely on my way.

My husband was a truck driver. The truck he drove was owned by a man who owned a bar. I was pregnant and did not drink but we went to the bar on Friday night to pick up his pay.

One Friday my brother-in-law and sister-in-law went with us. My brother-in-law went to use the bathroom. The rest of us were sitting at our table talking. Suddenly a man came running up and over our table. I was shocked. Then another man went over the table right after the first. My husband recognized the second man as his brother and joined in the chase.

My sister-in-law joined others up against the wall. I sat at my table watching. It was like watching a movie. Seeing that I did not have the sense to move to safety my sister-in-law came over and dragged me with her. I am still grateful.

I am less naive than I used to be. I am back where I can be oblivious. The difference is wonderful.

To Know

In elementary school there were three grades to a room. For instance Kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grades were together. 

You may think that lessened the learning process. Not so. We all learned; every child in town and from the country.

If the teacher called the 2nd grade to the front the rest of us would work on our lessons. Then the 1st grade had their turn. And so on. We took turns all day.

Beginning in Kindergarten the teacher stood in front of the class to lead the pledge of allegiance. Then she turned and read a list of numbers from her list. The numbers were a mixture one, two, and three digits. We added them in our heads as she read them off. Then we raised our hands when she finished to give her the total. We were seldom wrong and not by much.

In 1st grade we learned multiplication and division. The reading book we used was a 3rd grade reader. I know that because I went to a different school and we used the same book in 3rd grade. 

The real point is that these were small town schools. There were not many children. We were all in the grades appropriate to our ages. And we all learned.

Children's minds are open to learning. They are waiting to have their minds filled with information. 

There I Sit Again

In the 1950's when I was a child automobiles were different than the ones today. Almost all cars had bench seats. Today bucket seats are the norm. 

At that time cars did not have seat belts, air bags, or many of the other safety features required today. Often one child would sit between Mom and Dad on the front seat while Mom held the baby. The other children were in the back seat. Often while in the back the children would stand. Sometimes it was to see where they were going and sometimes it was because the seat was full.

One Christmas or Thanksgiving (I cannot remember which) the back seat was full of pumpkin pies. We had to stand.

Unfortunately Daddy had to step on the brakes suddenly. Guess who lost her balance and sat down, Right into a pie. 

Another year Daddy was just too tired to get up and go with us to the farm for Thanksgiving. He had worked a double shift the day before. Mom would go back and pick him up later. 

We had baby chicks in brooders in the house to keep them warm. Mom got home to Daddy snoring in a house full of chicks running everywhere. Dinner was delayed because they had to gather chicks and put them back into brooders,

Then there was the day I had been a pain in the necks of my uncles. I am sure I was driving them crazy.

The cows needed to be milked. All my uncles had to work with Grandpa to do the job. After that all the buckets of milk were taken to the kitchen. The milk would be poured into the separator to separate the cream from the milk. Grandpa sold the milk and the cream. It was one of the ways a farmer could make money.

Milking was done. The buckets of milk were in the kitchen. I went back to teasing my uncles.

I was finished. I think I knew I had pushed too far. I went in to watch the separator. 

Suddenly one of my uncles slammed his way into the kitchen. He was so angry I could almost see smoke coming from his ears. And I knew he was after me.

I began to slowly back up as he came for me in a menacing way. I went back; he advanced. I kept going back as he kept coming at me. Of course I backed into a bucket of milk and sat in it.

It is the only time I can remember Grandpa being mad at me. That milk was ruined and could not be sold. I was no longer allowed near the new buckets of milk.

Clean It Up

I worked at a retail store similar to Walmart. I really liked working there and held some desirable positions. 

I worked the midnight shift. Usually we only had a store manager to oversee us. One cashier would assign tasks, breaks, and troubleshoot.

One night two young-ish men came in. I was putting merchandise into bags for the cashier to save her some work.

 The men bought some trash bags and a vacuum cleaner. It was unusual to be thinking of cleaning at 3:00 in the morning but we were trained not to comment on purchases.

The next day the police came to the store. A young woman had been killed. She was found in garbage bags. Other bags were also there filled with trash from the scene of where she was killed. Inside one bag was the receipt from the purchase of the bags and a vacuum cleaner.

As you have guessed the receipt showed the store, time, and cashier who sold them. She had to testify against the men at their trials.

I will tell more tales of retail another time.

Seven Little Girls

Seven little girls sittin' in the back seat
Huggin and a'kissin with Fred
I said, why don't one of you come up and sit beside me
And this is what the seven girls said

(All together now, one, two, three)
(Keep you mind on your drivin')
(Keep you hands on the wheel)
(Keep your snoopy eyes on the road ahead)
(We're havin' fun sittin' in the back seat)
(Kissin' and a'huggin with Fred)

                                                                Paul Evans

In 1959 this was one of many popular novelty songs. I call them silly songs because they make me smile. Of course the song is longer than that. You can find it on YouTube if you want the whole thing.

Those were the beginning days of early morning television offering news and entertainment. Dave Garroway was the host. Frank Blair was the newsman.

They had a chimpanzee mascot names J. Fred Muggs. J. Fred Muggs did all manner of amusing skits.  

Once Paul Evans appeared on the entertainment part of the show. He was sitting in a car. The seven little girls were all in the backseat. At the end of the song the camera showed J. Fred Muggs in the middle of the girls.

I wonder why I have such a vivid memory of this. But it does make me smile.

Smoke

 My sister no longer smokes. For a time she smoked heavily. She and her youngest son lived near me. He spent a lot of weekends at my house. I was happy to have him.

My nephew was in middle school. He and my oldest son were out shopping together one day. My nephew had a confession to make.

He was in danger of being expelled from school. One of his teachers had him called to the principal's office. The teacher accused him of smoking.

The thing is that my nephew has never smoked. He did not want to hurt his mother's feelings so he did not tell her.

My sister's smoking was leaving a strong smell of smoke on everything in her house including her son's clothing. That smell made the principal threaten him with expulsion.

My son told me what his cousin had said. I said I would take care of it.

I went to my sister's house. She is a good housekeeper. She loves her sons and is a good mother. However she kept her home closed and no fresh air flowed through. 

I told her what was happening to her son at school. Of course she was horrified. A smoker does not know how the smoke smells or how strong it can be.

So my sister stopped smoking. She aired out her house. She cleaned all the surfaces she could clean. She washed all their clothes.

My nephew had no more problems at school. He still does not smoke.

Military Funeral

 Have you ever been a part of a military funeral? It is one of the most beautiful, most moving, most painful rites to endure.

My brother was killed in Viet Nam. He was only20 years old.

My father was so hurt and so proud. I do not remember seeing him cry before or after but he cried with a broken heart that day. He had been in the Navy during World War II and had seen some of the horrors of war. He never thought it would happen to his son.

In a case of military death an officer knocks on the door to inform the family. Mom was home alone that day. The officer waited with her until Daddy could get home from work. He then answered questions and tried to help them make decisions.

They decided on a military funeral.

My brother had a friend who idolized him. The friend tried to enlist in the Army. He felt that if he was a soldier he would go to Viet Nam and protect my brother.

The problem was that he was extremely overweight. The Army would not take him.

He went home and proceeded to lose about 150 pounds. The Army was then happy to have him. He was still in basic training when my brother died. 

My family wanted him to be with us for the funeral. The officer said he would make the request but the Army hardly ever allowed anyone to interrupt basic training. My brother's friend was made a pallbearer and grieved with us. The funeral service was sad as all funerals are. Then the Army took over

The pallbearers carried my brother with the military guard around them.

After a short service at the grave site the soldiers removed the flag from my brother's coffin. They carefully folded it and presented it to my mother.

Then they began playing Taps. I always thought it was a haunting song. That day Taps just cut into our hearts.

The twenty-one-gun salute was almost like being shot. 

I must tell you that the military funeral is so magnificent. It is so painful. I hope it will never be a piece of your life.

Ka-Boom

Every once in a while my youngest brother would spend the night in the living room on the couch. He was watching television and fell asleep.

In the morning he would wake up and go about his day. My brother was around 10 years old at the time.

One morning he overslept. Mom went in to wake him.

She noticed a hole in the storm window above the couch. It had not been there before.  The window itself was not damaged.

Looking further Mom found a bullet between the windows. It was simply lying on the sill. 

There was an empty apartment building across the street and down the block a ways.  It seemed that the bullet came from there.

Someone was probably playing with a gun. They fired it into the empty outside not thinking it would travel for a distance.   

Luckily a bullet decelerates over a distance. By the time it reached the window of my parents' home it did not have enough speed to enter both panes of glass.

My brother was so fortunate. He could have been seriously hurt.

After that Mom made sure he slept in his bed in his room. 

Grandma's Grandfather's Clock

 Grandfather's Clock

My grandfather's clock was too tall for the shelf

So it stood ninety years on the floor

It was taller by half than the old man himself

But it weighed not a pennyweight more

It was bought on the morn of the day that he was born
It was always his treasure and pride
But it stopped, short, never to go again
When the old man died

Ninety years without slumbering
Tic toc tic toc
His life's seconds numbering
Tic toc tic toc
It stopped, short, never to go again
When the old man died.

In watching its pendulum swing to and fro
Many hours he had spent when a boy
And through childhood and manhood, the clock seemed to know
And to share both his grief and his joy

For it struck 24 when he entered at the door
With a blooming and beautiful bride,
But it stopped, short, never to go again
When the old man died

CHORUS

My grandfather said that of those he could hire
Not a servant so faithful he'd found,
For it kept perfect time and it had one desire
At the close of each day to be wound

At it kept to its place, not a frown upon its face
At its hands never hung by its side
But it stopped, short, never to go again
When the old man died

CHORUS

It rang an alarm in the still of the night,
An alarm that for years had been dumb
And we knew that his spirit was pluming for flight
That his hour of departure had come

Still the clock kept the time
With a soft and muffled chime
As we silently stood by his side
But it stopped, short, never to go again
When the old man died"

                             by Henry Clay Work

I do not know if Grandma's grandfather's clock came from her grandfather. I tend to doubt it but I do not know.

What I do know is that it was beautiful. The wooden frame always shone. The gold toned chains inside always sparkled. The hands on the face always told the correct time. Or course we were not allowed to touch it.

The clock needed to be wound once a week. Grandma opened the glass door in the front.  She pulled on those beautiful chains. Somehow that rewound it for another week. I was mesmerized. 

I am guessing that the clock was sold in the auction when they sold the farm. 

I often think of that magnificent clock. I hope it is still as loved as Grandma loved it.

Lefty/Righty

In high school we studied genetics. My biology teacher was a brilliant teacher. He was also quick to let us know he was always right but that is another story for another day.

We learned about DNA which was a fairly new idea. Humans have strands of 23 traits. One strand inherited from the mother and one strand inherited from the father curve around each other. Those determine eye color, hair color, and whether or not you can curl your tongue.

Some traits are dominant and some are recessive. In other words brown eyes are more likely to be inherited than blue eyes.

One of the most impressive examples is handedness. If a person is left-handed both genes have to be for left-handedness. I am left-handed. For me to be left-handed each of my right-handed parents had to have a hidden left-handed gene. I therefore have two left-handed genes.

I married a right-handed man. He had lefties in his family so the possibility of him having a hidden left-handed gene were strong.

According to my high school biology this is a grid of possibilities that my children would be left-handed.

                                                       LL    LL

                                                RL   LL    LL               

                                                RL   RL    RL

This shows that if I were to have four children two would be left-handed and two would be right-handed with a recessive left gene. 

Well I have four children. Two are left-handed and two are right. Interesting?

Snacks

I am certain you are tired of me telling you that my family did not have much money when I was a child. What I do not mention is that there were few ready to make foods. Those available were too expensive.

We made everything from scratch. Cakes, pies, and cookies we just "whipped up". Sliced bread was available and inexpensive but I enjoyed making it so we had homemade bread and sweet rolls every week.

In the evening we watched TV or played games. Snacks were made for us to nibble.

Popcorn was cheap and easy to make. We heated lard in a pan then put in the corn. The pan had to be shaken or the popcorn would burn. After it popped it went into a big bowl and was salted. Mmmm-mmm.

Add fudge to have an even better treat. Fudge was basically sugar, cocoa, and water. It is cooked to the right consistency. Oh but we are not done yet. It still had to be stirred (constantly) until it began to stiffen. Then it is poured into a dish to set. Cut it into squares. It is a great snack.

One year Daddy bought a bushel of popcorn still on the cob. We were going to save money on popcorn. All we had to do was shell all the popcorn off the cobs. The problem is that popcorn is really hard and really stuck in the cob. We shelled all night and still were not done. I had a blister the size of a marble on my thumb.

Taffee was especially fun. We did not have it often. Mom would cook it up. Then we would cover our hands with butter. Each of us got a piece about the size of a teaspoon. We worked it and pulled it until it hardened.

Sometimes we got lucky and were given a large piece. More than one person was needed to pull the taffee. It was always fun.

A Bit Of Music History

In the 1960's there was a group named Tim Tam and the Turn Ons. Their biggest seller was Wait A Minute.

The group was formed when the six members were in high school. They were all from Lincoln Park, Michigan. That is a suburb of Detroit.  

They made other records of course. I am sure you can find them on YouTube if you wish to hear them.

One day I was driving through Lincoln Park and saw something that amused me. There were two apartment buildings next to each other. Their names were on the front of the buildings right over the entrances.

One was named Tim Tam. The other was Turn Ons.

I used to drive by them often just because the names amused me.

The group had invested some of their earnings into the buildings. It was a smart move.

Many years later they sold the investments. I guess the new owners did not take care of the properties. The tenants were evicted. The buildings were demolished.

City officials made a day of it. They each took a turn with sledgehammers. It was a day they called a reverse ribbon cutting. Each of them got their pictures in the paper.

Emotional Vampires

Do you know someone who is always unhappy and willing to share that unhappiness with everyone? My sister calls them emotional vampires.

These are people who are forever negative about everything. If you are enjoying a song they do not like the lyrics or music. If you are watching a movie they have a running narrative about the plot, acting, and script. They criticize the way other people look, dress, eat... all of it.

It is exhausting to be around an emotional vampire. Any happy or positive thoughts you have are sucked right out of you. Eventually you feel as miserable as they do.

I am normally a very happy person. I have good reason to be. Of course I have unhappy times. Deaths and illnesses come to mind. We grieve and survive.

I have known emotional vampires. I avoid them when I can. 

I am so wretched in their presence. If you are an emotional vampire STOP. If you are near an emotional vampire RUN. We need peace and harmony.

Flibbertigibbet

 My mother called me a flibbertigibbet. She was not being insensitive. I am amused by silly songs and anything else for that matter. 

I love interacting with a two-year-old child. We understand each other. I love it when their imaginations awaken.

I drive to the top of a hill and gasp. The beauty of the scenery takes my breath away.

I will dance anywhere. Not like no one is watching. I do not care who is watching.

From the time they were very small my children and I would go out to dance in the rain. 

Elm trees have seed pods that have sort of a tail to catch the wind to blow them to new locations. We call them helicopters because the tail spins as it falls. One time my granddaughter took a double handful of helicopters to her upstairs bedroom. She tossed them out the window. They caught a little updraft. It separated and lifted them before they spun to the ground. It was glorious!

The man who bought the farm my mother-in-law and father-in-law had owned before they died said he welcomed anyone from the family to walk the hills they had owned. We were overjoyed. Every time anyone comes to visit we climb the hill and roll down.

You have not lived until you bend over to smell a flower. Then you examine every petal and leaf. Enjoy the colors. Watch them close for the night. Or open in the morning. 

As you know I love music. If I hear a song I know I sing along. Of course I cannot carry a tune. Does that stop me? No. My children and grandchildren have on occasion asked me to stop. 

One day I was walking with my son and daughter. I told them I knew it was hard having me for a mother.

They said, "Not really. We thought all mothers were like that."

Poems

 

I enjoy poetry. It is words not quite set to music.

If I am writing poetry it is most often in the form of a limerick. I have no idea why. I suppose that is the rhythm in me.

Of course nursery rhymes are important. They are usually the first poetry children are exposed to. Things like Humpty Dumpty, Little Boy Blue, and Mary Mary quite contrary are only three of the well-known nursery rhymes. There are so many. 

One of my favorites was written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

There was a little girl,

            Who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

            When she was good,

            She was very very good,

But when she was bad she was horrid.

My daughter taught it to my little niece. When my niece recited it she said, "And when she was bad she was hooo-id. So cute.

A. A, Milne wrote Halfway Down

Halfway down the stairs
Is a stair
Where I sit.
There isn't any
Other stair
Quite like
It.
I'm not at the bottom,
I'm not at the top;
So this is the stair
Where
I always
Stop.

Halfway up the stairs
Isn't up
And isn't down.
It isn't in the nursery,
It isn't in the town.
And all sorts of funny thoughts
Run round my head.
It isn't really
Anywhere!
It's somewhere else
Instead!

And then there is Mom's favorite by Dorothy Aldis called Hiding

I'm hiding, I'm hiding,
And no one knows where;
For all they can see is my
Toes and my hair.

And I just heard my father
Say to my mother —
" But, darling, he must be
Somewhere or other;

" Have you looked in the inkwell? "
And Mother said, " Where? "
" In the inkwell , " said Father. But
I was not there.

Then " Wait! " cried my mother —
" I think that I see
Him under the carpet. " But
It was not me.

" Inside the mirror's
A pretty good place, "
Said Father and looked, but saw
Only his face.

" We've hunted, " sighed Mother,
" As hard as we could
And I am so afraid that we've
Lost him for good. "

Then I laughed out aloud
And I wiggled my toes
And Father said — " Look, dear,
I wonder if those

" Toes could be Benny's?
There are ten of them, see? "
And they were so surprised to find 
Out it was me!

Are those fun? No wonder children love then so.

May Day

 When I started school it opened a whole new world for me. I had new friends. And I learned new traditions.

May Day was a tradition I knew nothing about. 

On the first day in May Mom and I made "May baskets". We filled extra-large paper cupcake cups with various candies. A long and colorful pipe cleaner made a pretty handle for the basket. I think there were other decorations but it has been a long time. 

All the baskets we made were placed side-by-side in a cardboard box and put in the car. Off we went.

Mom told me when I got to a friend's house I was to take a basket and go to their door. When I got there I should knock on the door and run to the car. If my friend caught me he or she had to give me a kiss.

So I knocked on the door and ran like the devil was after me. But Mom had neglected to tell me to leave the basket first! 

She told me to take the basket back and leave it. By this time my friend Susan was running toward me. She took the basket and kissed me on the cheek.

The rest of the baskets were delivered more successfully.

I miss old traditions. I wonder why they stopped.

Feral Cats

 When I first came back to this tiny town to retire it was like a paradise. Almost.

We have undrinkable water. We have to use bottled water for anything we need to put inside our bodies. 

We also had feral cats. Thousands of them. They were all over this little town.

My son told me that they picked on his father's little dog. When they let the dog out the cats would surround him and not let him back into the house. My ex-husband would have to go out to rescue him.

I do not know where they all stayed. Often I saw them strolling through the yard or on the street. They seemed to be coming from the creek at the end of our street.

Several times we saw a man who lived a block away out sweeping his sidewalk. One day my son was on his way to the post office and saw the man running into his house. The cats had become aggressive with him. He had to escape because he could not fend them off.

After about two years I noticed that almost all the cats were gone. I have no idea where they went.

I like to think there was a cat Pied Piper who lured them to a waiting vehicle to be transported to families who would love them. Realistically they probably used some sort of poison.

Every once in a while I see a kitty wandering around town. But not the huge numbers there were.

Who Am I?

I know who I am - good and bad. To learn that all I have to do is take a look at my grandparents, my parents, and my children. 

My father's parents were interesting to say the least. 

My grandfather worked as a brakeman for the railroad. I did not know him because he died several years before I was born. I have never seen a picture of him. He was a drunk who was able to work. I know Daddy loved him and was also angry with him a lot of the time.

When I would show a picture to my children of my grandmother they always asked who was that mean-looking woman. Grandma was a mean-spirited woman. I am not sure she liked children and probably should not have been a mother. But Daddy loved her a lot so there was good in her. I loved her too but I did not like her very much.

My mother's parents were loving hard-working people. When I was a child they had their farm. They also had young children. My youngest uncle is three years older than me. (One of my cousins was older than our uncle.)

Grandpa had been a real-live cowboy in his younger days. I do not know how he learned but he played guitar, banjo, and fiddle. He loved his horses and taught us all to take care of them as well as to ride. He always had his pipe in his mouth... so much that he wore his teeth to where the pipe stem fit right there. He worked hard on the farm and raised 9 children. 

Grandma was the best cook. She had been cooking since her mother died when she was young. She made fresh bread every day on a wood stove. She wore her black hair rolled up all day but night it came down to her knees when she brushed it. She played the piano. They used to provide the music for barn dances. The thing she did that fascinated me the most was that she could wring the neck of a chicken. It took the head off quickly.

My father was the eldest of two late in life brothers.in a family of 9 children. He quit high school to enlist in the Navy during WW II. He was the one to take us to ballgames and dances because Mom was busy with babies. He loved doing it. Daddy could do anything. When we built our house he did most of the work. We all helped but he did it all. Plumbing and electrical included. He was outgoing and never met a person he did not like. People liked him too.

Mom was the smartest person I ever knew.  She was third born in a family of 9 children. We went to college together. If we were writing a paper we called each often to try to get the perfect word. Mom was a good cook too. She made a dessert that we are still trying to get right. It was the only time she was selfish and would not share. She had seven of us. There were also six babies that were not carried to term. She was always busy with babies and we loved it. She was also a loving mother to us.

My children are so much alike and yet so different. Because of them I have become a better person. They inherited both good and not so good from their father and me.

My oldest son has always been interested in computers. We gave him one of the first home computers made. He programmed it to roll the various dice for Dungeons and Dragons. He got none of that from me.

My second son is a go-getter. He wants what he wishes NOW. That he got from me.

Son number three was in a hurry to grow up. He is a good husband, father, and grandfather.

My daughter has been an experience. Did you know that little girls actually cost more than little boys?

I have learned from each of these relatives. I hope I make them all proud. Often I fail to be the person they wished I would be, I am still a work in progress I suppose.

Hello?

I have told you before about my beloved high school. It looks like a castle and sits at the top of a hill. As a matter of fact it is known as The Castle On The Hill. The students were the Lords and Ladies of the castle.

I will not describe the school more than I need to here because I have done that before. And you can do a web search if you are really curious.

There were a lot of 'jobs' that needed to be done. Some did not require a full time employee and there was no money in the budget for them.

 Some offices accepted student volunteers to spend a free hour each day to assist the person in the office. They might run errands to the supply area to replenish for the office. Or maybe do some filing. Or maybe even help grade papers.

There were other jobs too.  All were voluntary and it was considered to be an honor to help the school.

A job that I had was switchboard operator. 

There were a lot of offices that used telephones. When a caller needed to speak to someone specific the operator connected them.

There was one phone number to call the school. The calls had to be routed to the correct phone.

You may have seen the switchboard in old movies. The is a board with holes in it mounted on the wall. On the table in front of the board was a series of connecting wires. Only the connectors were visible. 

The operator wore those old-fashioned headphones. When the phone rang the operator would pull up one of the connecting wires and plug it in to a receiving hole at the bottom of the board.

"Central High School. How may I direct your call?" That is how I would answer. 

Once in a while the caller would have question I could answer like what school were we playing against in football. Usually there was an adult in an office they wished to speak to. 

Then I would pull out the cable of the matching color, plug it into the hole belonging to that office. I pushed a little button in front of me to ring the phone in that office. 

When their call was ended the lights for their colored wire would go out. I would remove them from their holes and they would rewind into their places on the table. 

There were maybe 15 or 20 sets of wires. I seldom used them all. It was fun to be an operator for an hour each day.

Secrets

 I hate secrets. Not secrets about things like a surprise party or Christmas gifts. I am talking about secrets that can affect important things.

I was raised in a time when parents protected their children from anything bad. It is understandable. I tried to protect my children too. However some things need to be known.

When my children were small I wrote letters to grandparents letting them know. how the kids were doing. Most of the time the news was good... learning to walk, getting good grades in school, playing in little league, learning a new dance in dance class. Grandparents deserve to know all those things.

Not all the news was great. Sometimes the kids got the flu. Bones were broken. Cuts needed stitches. Tonsils needed removing. Grandparents deserve to know that.

My oldest son began to talk very early. I wrote to his grandmother and told her all the things he could say. When she came to visit she heard him and said, "My God Emma that kid can talk!"

My youngest son was still in diapers. We lived on a short street with no traffic so the children often played by the side of the road. My son kept bending over and biting into the road and eating the dirt. I thought it was funny until I noticed that his little legs were bowing. A visit to the doctor told us he had rickets. Vitamins fixed him right up.

Those are things grandparents deserve to know.

I had been married for a few months. I had the day off work so I went to visit my family. I visited with my parents for a while. Mom was sewing as we talked. 

I asked if my sister was upstairs. I would go up to see her. It was suddenly abnormally quiet. I asked again. Nothing. I asked more forcefully. and became worried. Still nothing. 

I aggressively planted my feet and aggressively told them I wanted to know where my sister was. Without looking up from her sewing my mother said, "You don't need to know."

I will admit that my sister was a wild child. A picture of her buried under the back porch flashed through my mind. 

Instead I firmly said," Oh yes I do need to know. She is my sister."

They relented and told me my sister was in a home for unwed mothers. No one was going to tell me! I think they thought I would not notice.

I thought my brothers and other sister knew. None of them knew until the precious little girl my sister gave up for adoption found us 20 years later. That is except for my children. I do not keep secrets from them.

Medical conditions are useful to know. Heart conditions, diabetes, cancer, epilepsy, eating disorders, and any other condition you can think of are important for many reasons. Family members need to be able to tell a doctor what things to watch for. Family members need to be able to understand what you need if there is a problem.

As I said I hate secrets. There are things family members have the right to know and a person has no right to make it a secret.

Where Were You?

Like most of the country at the time I remember where I was when I learned that President Kennedy was shot and killed. I was in high school.

I had a 'split' 2nd year algebra class. One part of the class was before lunch. The other was right after lunch.

As we were filing out of class for lunch we saw other students in the hall crying. President Kennedy was dead. School was cancelled.

I had just come home from work. I was in bed watching the morning news before sleeping. A manned flight into space was being launched.

 Seven astronauts were on board. I watched in horror as it exploded. All seven astronauts died.

Once again I had just come home from work. I dropped my sister off at her house and went home. I was watching the morning news before getting some much needed sleep.

A plane had crashed into a tower of the World Trade center in New York. I was watching with shock as the news reported it.

Suddenly another plane could be seen flying toward the other tower. Reportedly a plane had slammed inro the pentagon and another was flying toward Washington DC.

I watched as the second plane disappeared into to second World Trade Center building. I could not believe my eyes.

I called my sister. I asked her if she was watching the news. She was not. I told her someone had just declared war on the United States.

Where were you? Are there any world changing events that you still carry with you?

4 H

Head, Heart, Health, Hands. 4H is a club for young people.

Most folks think that is a group that raises animals to show at state fairs. And some do.

They raise calves, pigs, chickens... all sorts of pampered animals. I say pampered because they are fed the best food and they are kept really clean. 

Most animals do not get this kind of attention. These animals are raised to be judged and usually sold for slaughter.

I was a member of 4 H. Our club did not raise animals. Too expensive and most of us did not have the space to devote to one animal.

We raised vegetables and cooked. It was fun to get together with my friends every week.

And we elected officers. The only office I remember was mine. I was the club reporter.

Every week I wrote an article about what we did. It was a small town but we had a weekly newspaper.

I would write my little article and submit it before the deadline. I saw my little article with my byline published every week. What fun.

THE DIVINE MALADY

 

This is a re-post of something I wrote a few years ago. It needs to be seen every once in a while. Please read it all. It might come in handy someday.

When I was 16 I took a summer job babysitting. It was a family of 5 children. They lived in a trailer park on a lake. Their trailer was a very large nice home.

They had four boys and one daughter. I would sleep in the same room as the daughter because I would stay there all week. On weekends I would go home.

Both parents worked so they needed someone who could take care of the children, do light housework, and cook at least two meals each day. No problem. Remember I have six younger brothers and sisters.

The children also had an aunt and uncle only a few trailers away. The aunt was only a few years older than I. I was asked to never leave the children alone with her because she had epilepsy. She had been in a car accident and there was a bruise on her brain that caused seizures.

She was a very nice person and we got along very well. She would come down a couple of times a week just to visit while her husband was at work.

One day she had a seizure. She was just sitting and quietly watching television when she began to act strangely. She yelped a couple of times and slapped her leg repeatedly. It took me a few beats to realize what was happening but I had no idea what to do for her.

I had promised the children I would make Johnny cake for breakfast one day. What I call Johnny cake is just hot cornbread with sugar and milk poured over it. It is delicious if you want to try it. So one Monday morning I got up early to start baking.

I did not know that the parents had broiled steaks the evening before. They decided to leave the oily aluminum foil on the broiler and clean it after work Monday.

I lit the oven and started making cornbread batter. The oldest son of the family came in rubbing his eyes and trying to wake up. As we were talking we saw the flames flare up from the broiler.

I am good in a crisis so I was going to go out and turn off the fuel tank. When I got to the door I suddenly felt myself turning to the left and spinning uncontrollably.

Then I was waking up on the couch with the mother of the family hovering over me and the children looking so frightened. She wanted to know if I was okay. I felt fine. Maybe just a little sleepy.

The oldest son had the good sense to run outside and turn off the fuel. Then he ran down and had his aunt come up. She called the mother who came right home. It was about a 45 minute drive.

The mother decided to take some time off work so I could go home. My parents had me rest and stay calm even though I felt fine. After one week I went back to take care of the children again.

I was there for about a week and a half. I was up before the children once again. As I moved through the living room toward their rooms to wake them up I turned and saw myself walking slightly behind and to the left of myself!

Once more I woke up to see the mother there as I was lying on the couch. This time my mother was with her. I was still so scared from what I had seen. The mother of the children of course needed someone who was not passing out all the time. She had made arrangements for a friend of mine to finish out the summer. That was fine with me. I wanted my mommy.

Mom took me home and we were relaxing again. That same day I passed the television as I was walking to a chair. Mom was in her bedroom folding clothes.

There was some sort of art program on television. The program was flashing from one painting to another and the lights changed with each painting.

I felt dizzy and was able to sit down. Then I felt myself reach up and tear the whole left side of my face, jawbone, teeth, and all, completely off. Then I felt that same hand reach down and rip the muscle from the top of my left leg. Of course that did not happen. I passed out.

Mom said she heard a funny noise and came into the living room to see me sitting in a chair with everything on my body trying to fold into itself. I am not a limber person. She said my hands were sort of palm up with my fingers almost touching my wrists.

I went immediately to the doctor. I do not remember much about the doctor visit. He admitted me to the hospital.

I had never been in the hospital before. I thought it was kind of cool to be served my food in bed. I did not like the testing they did as most of it involved drawing blood.

The second or third day I was there (I do not remember how long my stay was) I was lying there and I began to think about epilepsy. I remembered hearing my grandmother talk about two sisters in town who had "fits". That and the aunt of the children I had taken care of was the limit of what I knew on the subject.

My parents came in that morning and stood at the foot of my bed. They told me that the doctor thought I might have epilepsy. I said, "I thought that might be what it was."

When I got the chance I asked the doctor what this would mean for me having children. He said not to worry about it. But I did worry about it. So he assured me that the chances of my children having seizures was not even 1 in a million.

I was put on the medications that they used to treat seizures at that time. Now I am not a medicine taker. Two aspirin will knock me out. The medicine that I was taking made me so sleepy all the time. I do not know how I got through my senior year of high school that year. And with my A average to boot.

I have grand mal seizures (now called something else). Those are convulsive seizures. They are extremely painful. Each one a person has is a bit worse than the one before until they can be so bad that a person can die from a seizure. In fact I have almost died three times. I feel very fortunate to be here.

I am also very fortunate that I am very well controlled with medication. It has been so many years since I had a seizure that I cannot remember when the last one was.

I am still taking the original medications that the original doctor prescribed. One of them is a controlled substance. After sixty years I am physically addicted to it. That means without it I will go into withdrawal and the classic symptoms that accompany withdrawal. It does not mean I am constantly craving more. I just need it to live.

A dear friend of mine was on the city council of the big city we lived in. She was on President Carter's epilepsy commission. She asked me to go through the information she had and give her a synopsis. No problem. Until I saw the research. It was five books. Each one was about four inches thick except the last one. It was about three inches.

What I read was a real eye-opener for me. While epilepsy, like many other maladies, is not inherited the predisposition is inherited. That means that my children might have a weakness that they inherited from me that would make them more disposed to having seizures.

Also they used an example of a parent with four children (I have four children). If one child has seizures the likelihood of another having seizures multiplies (not adds up, multiplies). If three children have seizures the fourth will have seizures.

I learned that an uncle of mine had epilepsy. He died before my father was born. He was in a home for juvenile delinquents. My father always thought his brother was "bad" because that was better than being "defective".

My mother suffered terribly from migraine headaches. They are a first cousin to epilepsy. Many of the workings of the brain are the same in both.

Two of my sons had migraines when they were about 8 years old. Testing showed some brain activity but I would not allow them to be put on medication until there could be a definite diagnosis. Neither has had any further problems. My daughter is fine. I recently discovered that my other son has been having petit mal (small) seizures for about 7 years. He did not want to worry me so he kept it to himself.

Two of my grandchildren have migraine headaches. So does their mother, my daughter-in-law. Two of my grandchildren have had seizures. One was placed on medication for a year. The seizures stopped and the medication was also stopped. He has been fine for about 20 years now.

If any one needs to know anything about seizures feel free to ask. I am almost an expert. And if I am not certain I have the right answer I can probably guide you to the place to find it. In the meantime I am going to tell you what steps to take if you are with someone having a seizure.

1. If they are upright, lower them safely to a lying position. That will help keep them from injuring themselves in a fall.

2. NEVER, EVER, EVER, try to force anything into their mouth. Fingers have been bitten off. Tableware and wooden sticks are either broken or cause damage to teeth.

3. The human tongue is a muscle. It sits in a particular spot in the body. It is physically impossible to swallow your tongue. However the tongue like any muscle can fall to the back of the mouth and block the air passages. Gently position the person on their side. That way the tongue falls to the side instead of the back of the mouth.

4. If the seizure lasts for more than three minutes or if there are repeat seizures call for medical help immediately.

5. When the seizure is over often the person will lose consciousness or maybe just be confused. When they awaken the body and brain are busy trying to re-establish connections. They have no time to answer questions like "Do you know me?" Leave that for professionals. Simply say, "hi, (insert name, it is important). I am (insert name, it is important). You just had a seizure. You are safe and I am right here. Everyone is taken care of. You need to rest so go to sleep. I will be here when you wake up." If an ambulance is on the way or the doctor is on the way let them know that too. That way they can let their body heal itself without wondering what is going on.

In the beginning  I was up and full of energy after a seizure within a couple of hours. As time went on it took me at least two full days to be able to even get out of bed and stand on firm feet. Each person is different.

Epilepsy is nothing to be ashamed of. No more than diabetes, heart disease, or asthma. If you were ever to see the list of famous people and world leaders throughout history who had seizures you would be amazed.

It is called the divine malady because Julius Caesar had seizures. He explained that his soul was leaving his body to commune with the gods.

But it must be treated. By a doctor who knows what he is doing. Not many do. Most of the "maladies" are only mentioned in medical school in passing. I hope I have enlightened you a bit. I hope you never need the information. But if you are confronted with a situation you now know what you can do.

Top O' The Morning

 Actually it was the middle of the evening. My son and I had been to a town hall meeting earlier. Now we were relaxing and watching television.

There was a knock at the door. My son answered it.

The neighbor from across the street was there. He had something in his hand.

He said he was not sure if we were Irish or not. According to DNA testing I have a small amount of Irish ancestry. My children are much more Irish than I am. Because their father was largely Irish we have an Irish last name. So the answer is we are.

The neighbor held out a container. He hoped we would enjoy it.

The container held a meal of corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, and carrots. My son does not like corned beef and he cannot eat potatoes. On the other hand I love them all and seldom make things like that because I would be the only one eating it.

I had two lovely meals from that wonderful container. It was a delightful and neighborly gesture. I will end with my favorite Irish blessing.

May those who love us, love us. 

And those that don't love us, 

May God turn their hearts.

And if He doesn't turn their hearts, 

May he turn their ankles, 

So we'll know them by their limping. 

The Hidden Key

I had what I consider to be a wonderful childhood. We either lived on a farm or in small towns. That meant we had a lot of freedom to run, play, and explore.

We were normal children. We were loud and occasionally did things we were not supposed to do. And like any children we could be annoying.

We were living in a small town. The school was one block away and across the train tracks. The stores were about three blocks away. Church was on the next corner. 

Our neighbor next door was a grouchy man. I do not know if he had family. I was too young to care and no one ever visited him.

All I knew was that he was always yelling at us to be quiet. Stay off his grass!

One afternoon we saw him get in his car and drive away. We became evil.

I am the oldest so it was probably my idea. He kept his house key under the mat at his front door. We ran over and got the key.

We ran to the edge of his well-manicured lawn and placed the key on the ground. We pulled a few handfuls of grass to put over it. That way we could find it later to tease him with.

Later in the afternoon we woke up from a nap to the sound of the neighbor mowing his lawn! 

When he finished he made a beeline to our house. He was furious that his house key was gone. He just knew we did it and he wanted it back.

We dutifully went to the side of his lawn to get it for him. We could not find it. The clump of grass had been removed by the lawn mower.

My parents told us to keep looking for the key. I remember that it was starting to get dark. We still had not found it. As a matter of fact we never did.

Lead On

The sport my second granddaughter chose to play was soccer.  She was not good. 

The way she ran was to push her stomach out and follow it. Her favorite position to play was goalie. She did not have to run but was very much a part of the game.

Like most of the females in our family she is bossy. We like things done the way we want them done. 

If she was not playing she would stand on the sidelines next to her coach. As the coach called out to players so did my granddaughter. They issued directions to them. They would yell. They would wave their arms. They would point their fingers.

When the coach finally noticed her small assistant she would kindly have my granddaughter go sit where she was supposed to be.

She was more fun to watch when she was 'coaching' than when she was playing... and that was fun.

Alley Oop

My second grandson developed a fascination for dinosaurs. I do not know when it began. He absorbed everything he could find about dinosaurs.

His mother bought him every dinosaur she saw that was available. He then learned all he could about that particular one.

It seems as if he must have spent a lot of time in the library. Not so. He was three years old.

He was in pre-school and talked about dinosaurs incessantly. And he knew what he was talking about.

His pre-school teacher asked him if he would like to give a talk about dinosaurs. Of course he would.

My daughter packed his collection of dinosaurs and off they went to school. 

My grandson stood in front of his class. He would hold up one of the dinosaurs and explain all about it...  its size, how large its brain was, what it ate... everything. Then he moved on to the next one.

The other children loved the class that day. They were really happy when my grandson gave them each a small dinosaur of their own.

He was a hit! One of the other teachers asked him if he would speak to her class. Of course. 

He did a repeat performance. Once more he was a hit.

The following year they scheduled a day for him to teach. It was a popular class. 

The next year he was going to regular school. The teachers there heard about his knowledge of dinosaurs and a couple of them asked if he would speak to classes there. Of course.

He did that for a few more years until he decided it was no longer fun. I think my daughter was glad. She had spent a small fortune buying the little dinosaurs he gave away.

Bottom Attack

Katydids are fascinating insects that might be more commonly heard than seen. They send out a rhythmic hum on warm summer evenings and are excellent at blending into the tree leaves and foliage around them. These large, bright-green insects lay eggs at summer’s end and don’t survive the winter. Their unique physical characteristics, including long antennae and leaf-like wings, help them adapt to their environment and distinguish them from their relatives, such as grasshoppers and crickets. Once topside, the nymphs climb up into the trees where they proceed to plant themselves on a branch and transform into winged adults by once again shedding their exoskeletons. 

Cicadas have a fascinating life cycle that involves shedding their exoskeletons, or “skins,” as they transition from nymphs to winged adults. Here’s how it works:

Nymph Stage: cicadas have a fascinating life cycle that involves shedding their exoskeletons, or “skins,” as they transition from nymphs to winged adults. Here’s how it works:

Cicadas spend most of their lives underground as nymphs.

After 17 years (in the case of the 17-year cicadas), they dig tunnels to the surface using their front legs, creating little mounds of mud known as “cicada huts.”

When the ground temperature reaches around 64 degrees Fahrenheit (18 degrees Celsius), the nymphs emerge from their tunnels and climb onto nearby trees.

Once on the tree, the nymphs shed their old exoskeletons. These discarded shells, called exuviae, are perfect replicas of the nymphal cicadas. You might even notice little white strands coming out of these shells.

After shedding their skins, the nymphs transform into winged adults.

Male cicadas serenade females with their loud calls, leading to mating and egg-laying.

Once the eggs hatch, the nymphs return underground to feed on tree roots, continuing the cycle.

When I was a little girl the cicadas came one summer. We called them katydids but they were cicadas.

I was entranced with the exoskeletons they left fastened to the trees. They split right down the back and back out. Then the adults fly away. 

I went all over the street unfastening them from the trees and 'saving' them in my back pocket. Of course they were crushed back there.

One day I had been busy collecting the shells as I called them. My parents were outside chuckling about my collection.

Suddenly I began to jump up and down. I screamed. I ran for my mommy!

Something was attacking my bottom! It hurt.

I had plucked a katydid from a tree before it left its skin. It was trying to claw its way out of my back pocket. It needed to finish its mission.

Sadly that was the end of my collecting of exoskeletons.

 

Dark Humor

An epitaph is a saying usually seen on a gravestone. Some are sad. Some impart a bit of wisdom. Some are funny. Because I like to laugh I will post some funny epitaphs and hope you laugh too.

Guess whose headstone says, "Quoth the raven, "Nevermore" Wrong! It was Edgar Allen Poe.

Not all have famous names to go with them. For instance:

She always said her feet were killing her, but no one believed her.

Spike Mulligan: I told you I was ill

Fran Thatcher: Damn, it's dark down here.

Joan Hackett - Go Away - I'm Asleep

Here lies John Yeast. Pardon me for not rising

Famous outlaw Studs Terkel: Curiosity did not kill this cat

JOKE'S OVER. LET ME OUT NOW!

“Here lies an atheist. All dressed up with no place to go.”

“On the 22nd of June
Jonathan Fiddle
Went out of tune.”

"Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake/Stepped on the gas/ instead of the brake."

I was hoping for a pyramid

Well this sucks

Mel Blanc - That's All Folks

Clay Allison never killed a man that did not need killin

This ain't bad once you get used to it.

There are only two things in life But I forget what they are.

Here lies Les Moore. No Les, No More

Dorothy Parker - Excuse My Dust

J Penny: Reader, If cash you are in want of any, dig four feet deep and find a penny.

HE LOVED BACON. Oh and his wife and kids too.

Here lies a lazy bum. You finally get to lay in one place and not move at all like you always wanted.

Here lies Clyde. His life was full until he tried to milk a bull.

Under The Bonnet

 My mother had not been married long when she discovered she was expecting a baby,,, me.

Of course my parents were excited. A new person coming into the world is always exciting. At that time parents did not know whether their baby would be a boy or a girl. Daddy wanted a girl. I have no idea if Mom had a preference.

They had to get a crib and all the furniture needed for a baby. A baby needs diapers, blankets, and clothes. I hope they enjoyed gathering them. 

Mom had always loved baby bonnets. You know the kind. They fit the baby's head and then have the big brim that is supposed to be cute.

She bought bunches of them. If she had a girl baby it would always have a bonnet.

Poor Mom. She did have me... a beautiful baby girl with a round face.  My cheeks were the roundest of all.

She would put one of her bonnets on me and I looked like a fat baby. Actually Mom said I looked like a watermelon in a baby bonnet. It broke her heart.

I still do not look good in a hat. What a shame.

Look Out!

 

Animals and my cars do no get along. I have no idea why. I am not a huge animal lover but I would never purposely hurt an animal in any way.

One day I picked my children up after school. I was driving about a block from the school. We were going to visit their grandmother.

As I was driving past an alley I saw a dog running at top speed. I slowed the car so I would not hit the dog.

It kept running and ran right into the side of my car.

I immediately got out to see if I could help the poor thing. It kept running.

I jumped back into the car and went to find it. I drove for the longest time and did not find the dog.

What I did find was a big round rust-colored stain on the side of the car. It was where the dog's head had hit the car. 

Then many years later I moved back here after I retired. I so enjoyed driving to the top of a hill and looking out over the beautiful countryside. Of course there was the occasional raccoon or possum laying beside the road after being hit by a car. Sometimes there was even a wild turkey or a deer.

Deer are silly animals at times. I have seen them wait for a car to come and then run right in front of it.

As I was driving into Sioux City one day I saw a small herd of deer standing by the road. I stopped my car to let them cross. I did not want to chance hitting one.

Instead the male ran at my car and rammed the door on the passenger's side where my son was sitting. My son yelled for me to drive away. In the rear view mirror I saw the deer rolling. Then it jumped up and ran off.

I had to take the car to the dealership to have the door repaired. The door was dented, the handle to open it was smashed in. The window would not open. They fixed it right up.

You can see why I am wary of animals on the road.