I often hear on television about the damage to a child when they see their parents fighting. I have also seen children who believe that adults arguing is perfectly normal. Perhaps somewhere in those words are truth.
We never saw our parents argue. Not ever.
That does not mean we were unaware when they had a disagreement. Mom would stop speaking to Daddy.
Daddy would say, "Want a cup of coffee, Hon?" She said nothing. Soon it was "Want a cup of coffee, Hon?" No answer.
That went on for the longest time. Finally Mom would say, "I guess so." Daddy would yell, "EMMA! Get your mother a cup of coffee!"
Disagreement over.
I went and married a feisty little man whose family argued as recreation. Silly me. From watching movies and television I thought that yelling meant you would get a divorce.
The first time I met my in-laws-to-be my mother-in-law was mad at my father-in-law. She came in from the kitchen to wag her finger and really tell him off. My mouth dropped open and pretty much stayed open.
She yelled until she got tired then said, "Oh ring off!" She went back into the kitchen. When she had collected herself she was right back yelling at my father-in-law.
It happened several times before we left. I was in shock.
My parents were happily married for almost 40 years until my father died. My in-laws were happily married for more than 75 years until my father-in-law died.
It just shows that there are all sorts of families. As long as the arguing is not physical it is normal for them.
thecontemplativecat here. Good to see your name. My own family is quite different from my husband's. I prefer his. Mine had silent really bad atmosphere where my husband's were Irish and lively. I have been watching some instagram snips of people doing stuff. Parents apparently speak with foul language and their 3 yr old mimics them. Parents laugh.
ReplyDeleteBoth of my families were different too. Neither was wrong just different. I personally so not like to see children swearing. I feel the parents are disrespectful to allow it.
DeleteI know my parents had their differences and sometimes they may have lifted their voices, but I really can't recall any fighting in our home. Now, my husband and I always make sure to tell one another, I'm Sorry, if we have had a disagreement. He's Irish and can be a bit more volatile, but always apologetic.
ReplyDeleteMy husband once told me during an argument that I had married him for his money. When I started to laugh and he realized what he had said he laughed too. When we married I made more than he did.
DeleteWhen I crossed my tenth year I think it was then when I started to realise that my parents had Cold War condition. After growing more when I would listen their arguments.they were mostly about current issues. When things were cool down after few days. My father would behave lively. Mom would behave cold. She remained resentful towards my father because she thought he was responsible for my elder brother’s death. Fight never got physical though
ReplyDeleteThat must have been hard for you. I always knew my parents loved each other so these were just comical events.
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