Tuesday, January 30, 2018
Robbie
A year after my husband was born he had a little brother. His name was Robert but everyone called him Robbie.
Robbie was a normal healthy baby. He progressed like all babies do. His mother was busy with two babies.
When he was just beginning to walk Robbie got sick. Thinking he had the flu Mom put him to bed and treated him as she would treat any of her children in the same situation.
His fever shot so high and she could not get it down. Robbie's parents took him to the hospital.
He was diagnosed with spinal meningitis.
It was a severe case. Because of the high fever his brain was damaged. Back then medical people did not have the wonder drugs or equipment available to us today.
The doctors said he might live for another 2 months. They recommended that Robbie be placed in a home where his needs would be met. That way the family would not be needlessly disrupted.
My mother-in-law informed them that if he was going to die he would die at home where people loved him.
The docoters told her that he needed specialized care. For instance he needed to have a feeding tube inserted in order to feed him. Mom was not trained to do that.
That did not stop Mom. She made them show heer how to insert the tube. She made them show her everything she needed to know to be able to care for him for whatever time he had left. Then she took him home.
Mom took care of Robbie giving him those things only a mother can give.
He was paralized from the neck down. He could not use his arms or legs but he could turn his head a bit.
In the summer Mom would make a soft place for him to lie on the floor. He would watch nieces and nephews play and it made him happy.
Every year cardinals nested in a little tree right outside the living room window. Robie loved to watch them. It seemed as if they performed just for him.
I have pictures of him on a lounge chair safely surrounded by blankets and pillows so he could see what was going on around him.
As you can tell Robbie lived longer than 2 months. I have no doubt that was due to him being in a loving environment.
Mom told me that as she began to see signs of puberty she began to worry for him. She knew that one of his sisters would take care of him if something happened to her but she did want them to have that burden. She told me that she prayed he would die before her.
Robbie died in the night when he was 13 years old. My husband said they knew when the woke up the next morning because their parents were not home.
I believe he had as good a life as possible under the circumstances of his condition. He was loved and tenderly cared for. Without his mother's love and care I have no doubt he would have indeed died within 2 months.
Robbie died before I met my husband. I know a lot about him from listening to family stories. Also Mom seemed to feel comfortable talking to me about him.
All the children in the family feel as if Robbie was a baby forever. And that is how they will think of him.
My niece had spinal meningitis, back in 68. She was barely six months old.Intervention was in adequate time, but she is deaf from it. Could have been far, far worse. Dear little Robbie; suffer the little children.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry your niece has to deal with not being able to hear. I hope she knows how special she is to live with this.
DeleteMother was a smart and brave woman. I know that Robbie enjoyed what life he was given. This is a touching story.
ReplyDeleteNow you know one of many reasons I respect and admire my mother-in-law so much.
DeleteThere is no expiration date on condolences. I offer you mine.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteWhat a sad story but it amazes me what love and attention can do. 13 years is amazing under the circumstances. You obviously have a wonderful MIL. Take are Diane
ReplyDeleteShe was the wisest woman I ever knew. Besides that she was loving, compassionate, and fiercely loyal.
DeleteYour mother-in-law is an amazing wonderful woman.
ReplyDeleteShe certainly was. Her life was not an easy life but she made life easier for those around her.
DeleteHeartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteIn so many ways it is. I like to think about him having the best possible life because of his mother's love and devotion.
Deletestory about robbie reminded me my own elder brother who died at the age of thirteen while suffering with terrible pains of bones t.b
ReplyDeletemom cried until she died for him almost everyday as he died while ago
Robbie was so lucky to have such loving and compassionate mom who loved her more than her own life and managed to keep him alive for 13 years !
this is miracle which can happen by love only
The story of your brother is sad. Your family loved him and had to try to help him deal with the pain. It is painful to watch a loved one die but when it is a child the pain is so much more.
DeleteIt's always sad to read about a family member dying at any age, but at such a young age is even sadder. Robbie had a much longer and fuller life thanks to his mother and family. And the fact that he is never forgotten was touching to read, Emma. Your mother-in-law was indeed special.
ReplyDeleteAs I said I did not know Robbie. I feel as if I did because of the love of the family. The family stories from both sides is what keeps memories alive.
DeleteBabies who aren't loved don't only fail to prosper, they often die. There's a name for this, but I can't come up with it. I don't know what to think about keeping someone like Robbie alive, my question being who is he being kept alive for? If I were Robbie, I would want to be euthanized, but then if I were Robbie, I wouldn't know enough to know what I wanted. In her care for Robbie, your mother-in-law modeled love for her children, but aside from that, I don't see what she accomplished in keeping him on earth.
ReplyDeleteAs you read in my post Robbie was given a short time to live. Mom wanted him to feel love in his last days. However being a devout Catholic she would not have agreed with euthanization either. When religious and moral questions arise we each have our own opinions.
Delete"As you read in my post Robbie was given a short time to live."
DeleteI know.
"When religious and moral questions arise we each have our own opinions."
The problem with religious questions is that the more religious a person is, the more likely he or she is to base his beliefs upon the word of an authority that doesn't care about what makes sense, and this eliminates the possibility of rational discussion. You might recall that this was a big issue when John Kennedy ran for president, and he gave assurance that his decisions would be based upon what he thought was right for the country instead of what the pope told him was right. This cast doubt upon just how good a Catholic he was, but it did make him more likely to be a good president.
Such a poignant story Emma.
ReplyDelete