Tuesday, May 10, 2016


Did you know that humans are born with a fear? It is the fear of falling. That is one reason a baby flails around if it does not feel properly supported.

Throughout our lives we experience other fears. Some we are able to conquer and some maybe not.

For myself I have never gotten over the fear of falling. I can climb a tree (or could when I was younger) and feel perfectly safe. I feel like there is a sound base beneath me.

But being up high and feeling as if there is no safety net to catch me makes me afraid. That is the reason I do not ride carnival rides. I come to the top of the Ferris wheel for instance and look out at the scenery all around. But what happened to the contraption I am on? I see nothing. I panic.

There are also lesser fears. Stage fright is normal they say. I am a "ham" so I have not experienced that one.

There is a slight fear when being confronted with a new situation. When changing schools you wonder if anyone will like you and whether you will fit in with others. I did that a lot when I was growing up. It never gets easier.

Some fears make us be a little more careful. Since being in a terrible car accident a few years ago I am very aware of the cars behind me. Not everyone pays attention as they should so it is up to me to watch for them.

As I am getting older I must admit that I see my mortality. Death is closer and closer. I have already lived a longer life than either of my parents. Two of my younger brothers are dead. I know I will not live forever and I feel good at this point.

But the certainty of death is present. I fear it a little simply because it is an unknown. I suppose the best I wish for is that my death will be quick and painless.

I do have a fear that might be considered irrational. I have had several dreams over the years of suddenly going blind.

Not to be able to see is to me the worst debility there could be. No more watching movies or television. No looking into the faces of others. Not being able to curl up with a good book. Not being able to drive. I would be truly unhappy.

Not much scares me. I guess age eases many small fears. Some things are just not important enough to fret over.


  1. Dear Emma, now I see a photo of you - and like it!
    As to fears: yes, some get happily less important, others remain (I don't like standing on a high ladder - though I stood high up at the Shard or the Petersdome and could look around). Being blind sounds so awful - you have to trust that much, be that courageous when you cannot see. Death: I don't know. I don't fear it, I think - but I fear being helpless before. So: not death, but dying. Though I am curious.

    1. You pretty much described the way I wonder about death and dying. I have never been good at relying on someone else so perhaps that is part of my fear of being blind. You have good insight.