Tuesday, April 28, 2015
It Is Just Wrong
My nephew just called me. His mother is my sister who is 4 years younger than I am. He was practically incoherent. His mother is back in the hospital.
About four weeks ago my nephew called to tell me she was in the hospital. She had been ill and was taking her medicine like she was supposed to. She seemed to be getting better.
Then suddenly she could not breathe. Her husband called an ambulance. She was in ICU for a week. She was unconscious for five days.
As soon as she was able to talk I called her instead of bothering my nephew yet again. She felt pretty good but was abnormally week.
She was not allowed out of bed without assistance. She had some extensive physical therapy ahead of her.
The worst thing was that they were not really certain about what happened.
After three weeks she was allowed to go home. She still had to do her physical therapy and otherwise take it easy but she was so happy to be home.
As I said earlier my nephew called today. My sister is back in the hospital. She has had a stroke.
He was having a hard time gathering his words together so I told him I would ask him some questions so all he would have to do was supply answers.
Was she awake? Yes. Can she speak? Yes but her speech is very slurred. Can she move? One side is showing some paralysis.
I then told him about my grandmother, his great-grandmother. She was about the same age as his mother when she had a stroke. She could not speak and she could not move. But her mind was working just fine. She saw and heard doctors telling people that she would probably never speak or walk again.
Grandma was furious! She told me that she laid there and thought to herself, "I'll Show them!"
When she came home from the hospital she was fine. She still tired easily as anyone just coming home from the hospital does. Her speech was just a little off but only those of us who knew her could tell. Her black hair now had a few streaks of gray that were not there before. And she could no longer pull hot pans from the oven with no potholders.
She did indeed show them. She was only in her early 60's and had a lot more to accomplish. And she did it too.
I think my nephew felt more optimistic after the story. (It is so important to have these stories in my head at times like this.) His mother was his whole life for so long. He has a sister that he did not know growing up. His father has never been in his life. He is seeing that his mother is not immortal and it is terrifying.
After I finished talking to my nephew I sat to absorb what I had heard. I have no doubt that my sister will make at least close to a full recovery. She is basically healthy and strong. She is only 63 so she is still fairly young. I really believe she will be fine.
I have already lost two brothers. One was 1 year younger and the other was 2 years younger than I. One was killed in war, the other died from heart failure. My youngest brother (who is only 52 years old) had a heart attack a couple of years ago.
Like children dying before their parents it is just wrong for younger siblings to die before the older ones.
Now I am not saying I want to die. I also do not say, "It should have been me." I am not a martyr.
But it is unnatural for the younger ones to go first. It upsets my sense of the way things should be.
I do believe my sister will be fine. I am right now in the throes of morbid thoughts. I guess there are times when you simply must say, "It is just wrong."