Oo Ee Oo Ah Ah

My uncle was the oldest of my mother's brothers. He was 12 years older than me. And he was getting married.

I had been to other weddings. I remember vaguely a cousin's wedding. Really I remember the bride and groom at the altar during the ceremony and nothing more.

The wedding was in the afternoon. It was a lovely church ceremony with the beautiful white dress and all the pomp that goes with it. It was beautiful and without any extraordinary events.

There was to be a reception that evening. A party! And everyone including the children were invited. It was a family celebration.

The thing was that those of us from out of town needed something to fill the time between the end of the wedding and the beginning of the reception. Enter the father of the bride.

He was the manager and groundskeeper for the local golf course and country club. Because of the wedding the place was closed. He was not available in case of a problem.

So what the father of the bride did was to give us a few golf clubs and all of us children headed out to "play golf". It was a genius idea.

The parents were able to relax after the wedding and ready themselves for the evening festivities. The children were out hitting a little white ball and getting rid of the energy we had stored while sitting quietly during the wedding ceremony.

After washing our faces and hands we were inspected and our clothes restored to a semblance of respectability. Then we went to the club house to begin the reception.

I was not sure what to expect. I had never been to anything like this before. There was music and that made me happy.

The bride and groom had their first dance as husband and wife. That was pretty. There were other customs fulfilled. Then the party started.

There was food. There were drinks both alcoholic for the adults who wished to drink them and non-alcoholic for those who did not wish and for the children.

We did not often have pop to drink at home because it was so expensive. I drank a lot of pop that night.

The best man was another uncle. He liked to party and he stayed true to form. He was quite drunk. Grandma would tell him to slow down (partly because he was not yet quite old enough to legally drink) but soon I would see him with another bottle of beer in his hand.

I had never seen my uncles dance before. All of them seemed to have a good time. We (the children) pretty much stood along the wall trying not to be stepped on.

It was 1958. One of the most popular songs that year was The Witch Doctor by Alvin and the Chipmunks. The first time I heard it was at my uncle's wedding reception. I also heard it the second, third, fourth, and maybe one hundredth time at my uncle's wedding reception.

That song is the most vivid memory I have of that day. When I hear the song my mind conjures pictures of the club house and me standing off to one side watching my uncles drunkenly trying to dance. For me it is a beautiful memory.

The day my uncle was married was a great day in my life. I saw the wedding, played golf, heard The Witch Doctor, and drank a lot of pop. Best of all, I got to stay up late.

It Isn't Any Trouble Just To S.M.I.L.E.

I have had many, many jobs. Some I liked, some I endured, and a couple I hated. I worked hard and tried to give my best at each.

I liked the jobs in which I did paperwork. I actually find it exciting.

Being a cashier was interesting. I interacted with a variety of people. Some were caricatures of real people.

I liked working in the cash office. I was able to play with money. I had to use my brain to find out why if a drawer did not balance.

When I was a waitress in the tea room of a department store I was not happy. Most of the customers felt entitled to having what they wanted immediately. Some were quite rude and/or condescending. Then they left no tip.

I had a job in the fast food industry. I have nothing good to say about it. I do, however, admire the people who can perform those duties and still smile.

At the junk yard I was in charge. I enjoy knowing that things are being done the way I wish them to be done. I can tear down a car faster than a lot of men.

I was the assistant manager at the body shop of a new car dealership. Most of what I did was paperwork but I also dealt with customers. I liked that one too.

As a telemarketer I was one of those annoying people who call and bother you at the most inconvenient of times to try to sell you something you do not need or want. I had a lot of fun with the other people in the office.

I managed the band. I loved those guys and their music. We were all friends and our families would have outings together.

It soon was apparent that they could do the managing themselves. Because I was there with little to do the owner of the bar would occasionally ask if I would mind helping out if the place got overly busy. I was happy to help.

Soon I was included in the schedule to either waitress or tend bar. I made good tips.

Two brothers owned the bar. The one who hired me thought I could do no wrong. When he took an extended vacation the other brother took over. He was not as enamored with me. I moved on.

Then I went in to see the band one night and he asked me when I was coming back to work. I asked him if he really needed me. He said yes so I agreed to return.

It was a good place to work. None of the women had to put up with unruly or rude customers. Most of us had our regular customers who appreciated us and left good tips. It was good money.

It happened suddenly. I was not only not the favorite, I felt that I was disrespected by the owner. I felt the cold shoulder from him and he decided to give me the worst section to wait on. I was so unhappy.

One night as I was entering the building I decided to paste this huge dumb smile on my face to show him that he was no longer affecting me. I was tired of having a stomach ache simply because I was going to work.

I kept that smile on my face until I realized that I was actually having a good time. For several weeks I pasted that goofy smile on my face as I entered the building. Soon I had no stomach ache and I was happy to meet the evening.

I learned a valuable lesson. Even though others behave in a certain way the way I feel is up to me. All I need to do is smile. I feel good in no time. If others are happy, fine. If not, it is up to them to alter what needs to happen to make them happy.

Wise Woman

My mother-in-law was the wisest woman I ever met. She could take one look at a person and know exactly what kind of person she was dealing with. She always knew the right thing to do in any situation. And she put up with no nonsense from anyone.

Mom had a hard life in many ways. She was so small when she was orphaned. She was sent to live with grandparents who were not always kind. Her grandfather committed suicide while she lived with them.

She was more or less the voice of reason for her older brother and sisters who were slightly wild. She worked to try to keep them out of trouble.

Then she married my father-in-law and they began their family which eventually grew to seven children.

My father-in-law was similar to my father because he was always looking to see what was on the other side of that hill. Never quite satisfied with what he had. It had to be hard for her to move as often as they did.

Money was always a struggle. Our families were so similar.

Mom had little education but she could read and write. When we did not live close she wrote nice letters and I wrote to keep her informed about her son and grandchildren.

She read books that were interesting to her. She had a lot of religious books. She was a devout Catholic but was interested in all religions. Because of her reading she was knowledgeable about many of them.

She liked histories and biographies along with anything else that captured her fancy. After she died there must have been at least a dozen copies of Roots in her house. So she did a lot of reading and educated herself.

My mother-in-law was also artistic. Her love was ceramics. She started from scratch. Some of her molds were found in stores and even second-hand stores. Some she made herself.

She did not like the normal powder used to make the mix to pour into the molds. Mom liked her ceramics to have a little weight to them so she experimented until she had a concoction she used.

She made all sizes of ceramics from small animals to the large pitchers and bowls. Some were for the shelf or table and some were for the wall.

After her molds set some had to be put in the kiln. Because she lived in the country she did the task herself.

Then they had to be painted. She had a variety of paints. Some looked like enamel. Some were flat and not quite as shiny. Some were pearled. Some were metallic. It depended on her artistic feeling that day which she would use.

After an emergency appendectomy I stayed on the farm because the doctor would not allow me to be home alone. Mom tried to give me things to do that would keep me from getting bored. One day she suggested that I help her paint some ceramics.

I tried to tell her that I have no, as in not at all, artistic talent. She knew that I would be able to do once I started.

After about half an hour Mom looked up at me and said maybe I would like to go rest. I later overheard her telling someone that I had made her so nervous that she had to send me away. I laughed to myself. I tried to tell her after all.

She made a bit of extra money selling her creations. She even took special orders. Some people wanted colors to match their decor. Some wanted a special item that they could not find elsewhere. It sometimes took some time for her to make the mold but she was able to do it.

So besides being wise Mom was talented. You would think with all these artistic people around me I would have absorbed something. Alas I was not meant to be talented. I simply enjoyed the talents of others.
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Religion

I am not a religious person. Like all people who are not religious I say that I try to do good and harm no one. Is that enough? I do not know but it is the way I try to live my life.

As a child I went to church. Usually it was only for Sunday school. We went and learned about the Bible and the players in it. A small donation was given then which came from my allowance.

I have read the Bible and remember a great deal of what it says. I even know a few quotes. Even better to my way of thinking is that I understand most of the messages given. Some I agree with, some I do not.

If I were assigned a religion based upon my upbringing it would be as a Protestant Christian. I knew very few people of other religions as I was growing up so I had nothing to compare.

But I am not here to tell of my religious beliefs or any lack of belief. I simply wished to inform you of my background as related to religion. I want to offer some observations I have made over the years.

My two best friends both attended the same church. If I could go with them I would, just for the opportunity for us to be together. It did not hurt anything that the minister had a really cute son our age. Each of us had a crush on him. The church was in a town about twenty miles from the town we lived in.

My father took a job working for a house mover. His boss and wife had grown children who did not live in the same state. They decided to take pity on this poor little heathen and see to my religious training. The went to the same church as my friends. Of course I would ride with them.

When I would get into the car on Sunday the couple would give me a handful of money. For me it was a lot of money. I thought they were paying me to do something I would have done free. Looking back I now realize they expected me to put it all in the collection plate. But I had my donation from my allowance.

My mother worked washing dishes in a small cafe in the town where we lived. After church I would have the couple drop me off at the cafe. I would order lunch and pay for it with the money my father's boss had given me. By the time I was done eating my mother would be finished working and take me home with her.

The church was a Pentecostal church. The preacher would preach a mighty sermon. Often the worth of the sermon was measured by how long it would stretch past the noon hour.

The minister was masterful. He would drone on and on and on sometimes almost in a monotone. Then suddenly as men's heads would begin to nod as they fought sleep he would scream at the top of his lungs and the men would sit upright. It was fun to see.

One morning I had gone to church with my friend rather than the couple I usually rode with. My father's boss's son and his family had been in town visiting from another state all week. They left for home the night before.

As a regular part of the sermon the minister asked for people ask for any special prayers they wished to be included that day. The woman stood and asked for a prayer to be said for her son and family to have a safe trip home.

The minister screamed, "Sister, I rebuke you in the name of the Lord!" He invoked the wrath of God because she had the temerity to think that God would not automatically watch over her son.

He screamed at her for several minutes. I felt so sorry for her. All she really wanted was for people to commiserate with her because she was going to miss her son and his family. She simply wanted him to be safe. That horrifying exchange has stayed with me for almost 60 years.

My youngest sister is a shy timid person. She has few friends but the ones she has remain friends for life.

She went to church with a friend of hers one time. The preacher was a "fire and brimstone" sort of minister. He was very loud and then would scream even louder to make his point. It scared her half to death. My sister has not gone back to church since. It has been more than 45 years.

Now lest you think that I am against religion I must say that I know a lot of people who find comfort in their beliefs. My mother-in-law was one.

Mom was a devout Catholic. She was not able to attend church regularly because she lived on the farm and did not drive. But she had a rosary on her at all times.

She made a point of going to mass several times a year and made arrangements for Novenas for her loved ones. At Christmas we received a nice card letting us know that a prayer would be said every day all year for our family by the nuns she occasionally donated to.

When my brother was killed in Viet Nam we were one of the fortunate families who were able to have an open casket funeral. We received his body in a timely manner.

One of the things that touched me most at my brother's funeral was a neighbor. Before the funeral began she came in wearing the same old housedress she wore all the time. She went up to my brother and knelt in front of the casket. She had her rosary and said her prayers for him. Then she quietly left.

How comforting for her to know exactly what to do in such a sad situation. The rituals of a religion give a person the way to behave in specific times. The neighbor knew what prayer to say and what to do when she  said it. It has stayed with me all these years and I thank her still for the feeling of calm she instilled in me at that terrible time.

I now know people of many faiths. They all have things in common as well as differences. If they find the comfort to face life it is a good thing. 

Peace is what I believe we all are looking for. If you find it within your religion wonderful. If you feel you do not need religion to find you peace that is also wonderful.

The Origin Of The Jack-O-Lantern

Halloween has just passed. I have the story of the origin of the Jack-o-lantern. Please enjoy it.

Stingy Jack was well known around his part of Ireland. He liked his drink and was thought to take liberties with other people's property. He cheated, deceived, and misused anyone he could. Stingy Jack did not particularly care what others thought of him. All that mattered to Stingy Jack was Stingy Jack and his comforts.

Now the devil had been keeping tabs on him. Stingy Jack was a prime candidate for the devil's domain.

One night after a night of heavy drinking, Stingy Jack was stumbling home. He came upon a body lying in the road so he stopped to see if there was anything of value in the pockets.

Suddenly the body moved and jumped up. Stingy Jack realized that it was the devil and Jack's earthly time was to end. But he was not ready to go.

Stingy Jack asked for a last wish. The devil saw no harm in granting a final drink to Stingy Jack. Off they went to the pub. Stingy Jack was a frequent patron and knew the bartender well. As the duo walked through the door the bartender smiled. When Stingy Jack got the best of somebody, the bartender got a nice part of the take.

Stingy Jack proceeded to have a sample or more of every type of drink in the pub. When he finished he told the devil to turn himself into a silver coin to pay the tab. He promised that he would get the coin back so the devil could change back into himself.

The devil turned himself into a coin of silver. Stingy Jack grinned at the bartender who grinned right back. Stingy Jack dropped the coin into his pocket which just happened to also contain a crucifix. The crucifix took away all of the powers the devil had. He begged and begged to be set free.

Stingy Jack, being the kind-hearted soul he was, said he would set the devil free IF the devil would promise not to take his soul for 10 years. Of course the devil agreed.

Ten years passed with Stingy Jack continuing in his evil ways. The devil appeared as he said he would. Stingy Jack knew his time was up. The devil had Stingy Jack by the arm ready to take him to Hell. Stingy Jack asked if the devil would climb the apple tree they were standing next to and pick an apple for him to eat on the way. The devil heaved a heavy sigh and climbed the tree.

While the devil was picking a nice apple Stingy Jack hurriedly surrounded the tree trunk with crucifixes. The devil was stuck in the tree.

Once again the devil found himself pleading for his freedom. Finally Stingy Jack made the devil promise to never take his soul. The devil begrudgingly promised. Stingy Jack took the crosses and happily went home knowing that he had outsmarted the devil.

Stingy Jack continued his evil ways but eventually he died as everyone does. He sat and waited patiently for his turn to enter Heaven. When he approached the gates he was turned away. He was told that he was far too evil to be in Heaven.

With resignation Stingy Jack went to Hell. He knocked on the gates and the devil met him there. The devil reminded Stingy Jack of their agreement and told him that since he could not have the soul there was no place for him in Hell. He was doomed to wander in nothingness for eternity.

It was Stingy Jack's turn to plead. Eventually the devil agreed to give him an ember to light his way through the darkness. Jack placed it in a hollowed turnip or rutabaga to keep from burning his fingers.

Stingy Jack came to be called Jack Of The Lantern or Jack-O'-Lantern. At certain times of the year, such as Halloween, when the world of the dead is close to the living Jack-O'-Lantern is seen wandering.

In Ireland during Halloween the living tried to make sure the dead cannot cross back. They began leaving meals on their doorsteps to keep mischief away. If they had to be out in the night they would wear masks and costumes to fool the spirits so that they would not be molested.

Carved pumpkins called Jack-O'-Lanterns are placed on the doorstep to remind spirits of Jack-O'-Lantern and his plight. They do not want to be caught in between the worlds of the afterlife so they avoid any house that is protected by the Jack-O'-Lantern.

Who Is Asking?

Although it is my daughter's birthday today I write my post as much in advance as I can. This seems like a perfect Halloween story. I think.

I called my daughter to wish her Happy Birthday. She is the baby and she is now 42 years old. That makes me an old woman.

I asked her what was new with everyone at her house. I did not expect what I heard.

My oldest granddaughter got a phone call this morning. When she answered the phone a man said, "Hi," and asked her how she was.

Not knowing for sure who was calling she cautiously told him she was fine. He then began asking questions about other members of the family. Because she did not recognize his voice she would not give any information.

He tried to be persistent. Finally she told him that she had to leave for work and could talk no more. He asked her if she always worked on Saturday and wanted to know where she works. She hung up.

Later in the morning at about 9:00 my son answered a knock at his door. He is my youngest son and the father of my oldest granddaughter. The man at the door wanted to know where someone with the name of my daughter lives.

My son told him he did not know anyone by that name. The man tried to explain that my daughter owned a piece of property that he was interested in purchasing. My son insisted that he did not know her.

The man said that he worked on cars and wanted to have a place to open a repair shop. He had several small children and he just wanted to have a business so he could support them.

The man had an address where my daughter and her family used to live. He had driven by there and the house was empty. He really needed to know where she lived or at least how he could reach her.

My son told him again that he did not know her. Finally the man left.

My granddaughter and my son both called my daughter to tell her what happened. They had a chuckle about it.

All throughout the day the man called and texted my granddaughter. She did not answer him.

Since it was her birthday my daughter took the day off work. They watched old movies on TV all day. She was on her way upstairs when there was a knock at the door.

My daughter was slightly annoyed because she thought maybe my grandson had ordered a pizza as he had been threatening to do all afternoon. After all it was her birthday and they were goiung out to dinner.

My grandson answered the door. There stood a man asking for my daughter. Before my grandson could say anything my daughter said, "There is no one here by that name."

The man was very forceful and bordering on rude insisting that he knew she was there. He asked about all her brothers and me. He knew all the names.

My daughter is tiny but she grew up with three big (and large) brothers who always made sure nobody bothered her. As a result she still thinks she is invincible. She stands right up to anybody and runs her mouth truly believing that she cannot be hurt. So far she has been lucky.

She was at the door ready to toss the guy off her property. She turned slightly to the side. My daughter carries a gun (legally) and it was at her side near her waist.  The man quickly backed up and became so polite. She thinks he must have seen her gun.

My grandchildrens' father had gone to get information on the car the man was driving. He parked in the driveway of the empty house next door. It had no license plate.

So my daughter was telling me all of this as I wished her a happy birthday. I was shocked.

I asked if she had called the police. No. Had any of them called the police? No.

I explained in my most patient mother-voice that they needed to let the police in each city they live in know what happened. Even if the man has good intentions he has way too much access to where people are.

My granddaughter has two toddlers and she is not much bigger than my daughter. Her home may not be safe.

My son has three toddler granddaughters who spend a lot of time at his house. He and his wife live in the country. His home may not be safe. And we know that the man knows where it is.

My daughter has two children at home. They are both almost grown but they are not grown. Her home is not safe either.

I hope they all alerted their police departments. I am sure none of them did. So now I will worry.

Sister Update

My sister had a stoke during the summer. It was originally thought to be mild but soon the doctors said that it was serious. Her left side is paralyzed. The whole side of her head was so swollen and she could not use her eye on that side. She tried to communicate but it was hard because her brain was slightly scrambled and her mouth would not cooperate at all.

To remove pressure from her swollen brain they did surgery and removed a piece of her skull which they stored in her leg hoping to be able to put it back into place someday.

She was progressing slowly but she was progressing. I was thrilled the day I was able to talk to her on the phone. Her speech was still slurred but I could understand her.

Once on the phone she told me that she was going in for surgery to replace her brain. Her thought processes were still not quite right but I knew what she meant. They were going to replace the piece of skull. The swelling was gone.

The surgery was performed earlier this month. I talked to her a few days ago and she sounds so good. Her speech is not perfect but she sounds like my sister again.

She asked me to send her some candy bars that are only made here. I promised to send her a box of them next week along with some puzzle books. She says she is bored.

My nephew, her son, said that is now seeing a little with her left eye. She told me that she is getting some feeling back in her left hand and she hopes to be able to use it soon.

She scared me half to death because suddenly she stopped talking. I kept calling her name but there was no response. We were not disconnected because there was no dial tone.

I sat and worried.

After a little while she called back. She had dropped the phone under her shoulder in the bed and could not reach it. She had to wait until her husband came in to rescue the phone. Thank goodness.

So she is wanting desperately to go home. If her insurance will cover it her husband can get a hospital bed for her. They have contacted a private nurse to care for her at home. She will still have to report back for her therapy but I know she will be so much happier at home.

This time of year is a time of remembrance for the family. My parents wedding anniversary was October 22. It is also the anniversary of the day my niece died at the age of 8. My brother's birthday was the 26th. He was killed in Viet Nam when he was only 20 years old... a baby. Another brothers birthday is coming up on the 3rd of November. Sadly he has also died.

These are the only members of my immediate family who have died. That the dates that remind me of them come so close together is one of those coincidences of life.