I was a strict mother. Not overbearingly so. I just expected my children to mind me.
My children fought each other and were loud and at times they were mischievous. That is normal and does not bother me.
What often bothered me was hearing a mother tell her child to "wait until your father gets home!" I feel like that puts the mother on the same level as the children. She will not discipline but she will tattle.
Mom should take care of business when needed. Dad does not have to always have to be the bad guy.
I also feel that children require structure in their lives. It can be really scary if you do not know where boundaries are. Then you have to keep searching for them in order to feel secure.
Another rule of mine is that I do not repeat myself. If I say to clean your room do it. If I say do not spit on the floor save your saliva until you can dispose of it hygienically.
My children did not run the streets. I always knew where they were and who they were with. I liked having loud boisterous children playing in my yard.
When the streetlights came on in the evening it was time to be in the house for the night. There is nothing to do outside at night in the city but get into trouble.
Long after my children were grown my sons were in front of the house working on a car. My daughter-in-law and I were sitting on the front steps watching and talking.
Suddenly the boys gathered their tools and walked past us and into the house. We just looked. It was very confusing.
Then I realized... the streetlights were on. I laughed but was pleased. Some habits never go away.
The fact that your sons still remembered what they were taught in childhood is a testament to you, Emma. As for your rules, they seemed sensible to me and not strict at all and I am sure your children thanked you years later. Many parents today seem far too careless about giving structure to their children.
ReplyDeleteIt has to be scary for a child to try to regulate their world. Most will keep trying to find boundaries so they can relax.
DeleteYou sound like my mother.
ReplyDeleteI should think most of the mothers sound the same.
I would hope so. Unfortunately I have seen 13 and 14 year old children out roaming at 2 and 3 o'clock in the morning.
DeleteGood for you! You set boundaries and had discipline. Great story of the boys coming inside when streetlights clicked on!
ReplyDeleteThey are all in their 50's now and still go inside when the lights come on. I am proud and amused at the same time.
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