Friday, September 19, 2014
My Third Grandson
My third grandson is as precious to me as all of my grandchildren are. Unfortunately I do not know him very well. His father has been in prison since he was about two years old. His mother sometimes lets us see him and sometimes she doesn't. Since I moved almost four years ago I have not seen him at all.
I do talk to him on the phone when he visits one of my children but those visits are not often. It is hard to hold the attention of a little boy when he really does not know you so the conversations are short and bittersweet.
I was so excited when I learned that my son and his girlfriend were going to have a baby. I knew how much he wanted to be a father and I knew he would be a good father. His girlfriend seemed to be good with my son's daughter when she was discovered and she had a little boy from a previous relationship.
Then my son was arrested. His girlfriend stopped answering calls from us most of the time. We were concerned about both her and the baby.
One day while I was working my daughter called and asked for me. When I called her back she told my my grandson's other grandmother had called to let us know his mother had gone to the hospital. I immediately left work. I assumed she would not want me in the room as she was giving birth but I was hoping she would see me and let me see the baby after.
When I got to the hospital her mother greeted me and told me she was fine. She had fallen and they were not sure if she was going to have the baby or not. Since I was there she decided to go home for a while.
I sat with the mother while she slept. The room was chilly and I noticed her trying to tug the blankets around herself. When a nurse came in I asked for another blanket. She got a warmed blanket that I placed over the mother. She seemed to resr more peacefully after that.
Finally she woke up when her phone rang. She talked to the person for quite some time. Then she rolled over in bed without acknowledging that I was there.
I was getting ready to leave when the doctor came in. I was not asked to leave so I stayed long enough to find out if she was having the baby.
From her discussion with the doctor I discovered that she had been out with a former boyfriend who beat her up. She was being released from the hospital as long as she could assure the doctor that she would not put the baby in jeopardy.
I then waited for her mother to return so she would not be alone. I told her I was there for her if she needed me. Then I left.
I was at a softball game my granddaughter was playing in when we found out that my grandson had been born a couple of days earlier. I was hurt that we did not know earlier but so happy to have a new baby in the family.
After he was about two months old we were finally allowed to see him. His grandmother took him to the house of a friend of hers. The man was very nice and told us to be comfortable there as long as we wished.
My grandson was beautiful like all the babies in our family. He looked like a combination of his father and his older brother.
As we were leaving after just enjoying the feel of my grandson his grandmother took me off to one side. Her daughter needed $1500.00.
I will never know why they thought I had that kind of money available to me. I would not have given it to her if I had. But I was grateful for anything that allowed me to see my grandson.
Over time we were allowed to see him. We even had him for weekends sometimes. You could just look at his eyes and see the intelligence there. He was so smart, again just like the rest of the babies.
And such a big boy. He is going to be tall like his father but I think his bones are bigger so he may be built more like a linebacker than a basketball player.
We noticed that he especially liked toys that would light up. We made sure to have a good supply of them at Christmas. One year his aunt and uncle gave him a toy gun that made rat-a-tat noises and blinked its lights as he fired it. He could hardly put it down to open any other presents. We actually had to change the batteries in it before the night was over and it was getting low when his mother came to pick him up.
When his father got out of jail he immediately went and picked up his children. He let their mothers know that he wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. He actually had them for days and sometimes weeks at a time before their mothers wanted them back. My son was happy.
He took his son with him everywhere. My grandson adored his father. And we were able to see that little guy as often as we wanted.
I took him to parks and out to eat as well as having him overnight with my other grandchildren. I kept toys and things to do for them to keep them occupied. He and his sister liked to take the sidewalk chalk out and make huge pictures on my sidewalk. I always left them until the rain washed them away. And my refrigerator was covered with artwork. I loved it.
My daughter's children and my son's children were with us at my daughter's house. We were all sort of doing whatever we wanted to do outside. My grandson picked up a stick and proceeded to shoot everyone. He would shoot and he would laugh while we pretended to be hit. Even the boys who were playing basketball with my daughter's son played along. (My personal opinion is that teenagers today are much more aware of little ones than they were in my generation.)
Then it began to rain. We love rain but we were not sure how my son's children would react. They danced in the rain along with the rest of us. Alone and together in the group we all did "our thing". It was a glorious afternoon.
My son was arrested again. He had been gone for quite some time but we were fortunate enough to have his children for the weekend. My daughter asked us to stay at her house and she got some extra time off from work. The kids and I would be sleeping in my grandson's room so we could all be together.
We were just sitting there talking and trying to decide what to do next when one of the older kids said something about Daddy. My grandson's head whipped up and he asked, "Daddy?" My heart was broken. He had been with his daddy almost constantly and then his daddy was gone. How do you explain that to a child who can barely speak?
These days my grandson makes the most of his visits with his aunts, uncles, and cousins. He is still a big boy, not fat mind you, just big. He loves to wrestle with the other boys even though they are older. Wrestling seems to be a favorite family activity. He enjoys family outings.
My grandson is very quiet and shy according to my second granddaughter. He likes video games (what kid today doesn't?) and likes to play outside. He is only 8 years old.
Like I said I do get to talk to him on the phone occasionally. His father has promised me that one of the first things he will do when he gets out of prison is bring his children to visit me. I am waiting.